LIBRARY 

—OF— 


P.  A.  MYERS. 


N9 


It  is  a  pleasure  to  loan  books, 
but  a  satisfaction  to  have  them 
returned  promptly  when  read, 
that  others  may  enjoy  their 
persual. 


LET  ME    THIXK    A    MOMENT.      PttCJt    SI. 


BROWN    STUDIES 

OR 

CAMP  FIKES  AND  MORALS 


BY 

GEORGE   H.  HEPWORTH 

AUTHOR  OF  "HIRAM  GOLF'S  RELIGION," 
"HEKALD  SERMONS,"  ETC. 


NEW  YOLtK 

E.  P.  BUTTON   &   COMPANY 

31  WEST  TWENTY-THIRD  STREET 

1895 


Copyright,  1895, 
By  E.  P    BUTTON  &  COMPANY 


CONTEXTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

INTO  THE  WOODS.  . . 


CHAPTER    II. 
I)o  FLOWKRS  HAVE  SOULS? ;54 

CHAPTER    HI. 
Lous  AND   LOYK 57 

CHAPTER    IV. 

I-' A. All  I.  IKS    IX    BuXKS 75 

CHAPTER    V. 
MISTAKES  ix  MARRIAOK <)7 

CHAPTER    VI. 
MY  LOST  MARGARET i;jo 

CHAPTER   VII. 
A  MAX'S  WORLD 152 

a 


20491S9 


4  CONTEXTS. 

CHAPTER   VIII. 

I'AGE 

SOME  CURIOUS  PROBLEMS  .................   18U 

CHAPTER   IX 
WHY  Do  WE  MARRY?  ....................   -1" 


CHAPTER   X. 

WAS  IT  A  VISION  ? 


CHAPTER   XI. 
BALKED  BY  FATE  .........................   -80 

CHAPTER   XII. 
MARRIAGE  BELLS  ........................   ^06 


BROWN   STUDIES; 

OR, 

CAMP-FIRES   AND   MORALS. 


CHAPTER    I. 

INTO   THE   WOODS. 

IT  was  iii  the  afternoon  of  the  15th 
of  September  that  I  met  my  old  college 
chum,  Walter  Van  Nest,  on  Broadway. 
All  the  world  was  rushing  by  us  like  a 
spring  freshet,  but  he  drew  me  into  a 
doorway  where  the  rumble  was  only  an 
echo. 

"You  are  not  well,"  he  said,  senten- 
tioush",  for  Walter  is  a  physician  with  a 
large  practice. 

"Tired,"  I  answered. 


G  BROWN  STUDIES. 

"Of  what?" 

"  Of  life  •  of  the  everlasting  racket,  of 
the  crowd,  of  the  game  of  grab,  but  espe 
cially  of  myself." 

"At  forty?"  he  queried.  "Then  you 
have  a  liver  or  a  stomach,  and  are  con 
scious  of  it." 

"  Perhaps  I  also  have  brains,"  I  blurted. 
"At  any  rate,  I  have  played  chess  with 
Wall  Street  long  enough,  and  am  going 
to  sweep  the  pawns  and  bishops  and 
knights  off  of  the  board  and  give  myself 
a  long  rest." 

"  Ah  !  "  he  retorted,  for  Walter  is  some 
thing  of  a  cynic. 

"  When  a  man  gets  to  my  age,"  I  con 
tinued,  "  it  is  pretty  nearly  time  for  him 
to  believe  in  God." 

"And  you  do  not?"  he  asked,  quizzi 
cally. 

"There  is  no  room  for  one  in  New 
York,  and  I'm  going  where  I  can  find 
Him." 


L\TO   THE    WOODS.  7 

u  Have  you  made  a  fortune,  and  arc 
you,  as  Rivarol  said,  '  a  prey  to  the  mal 
ady  of  prosperity '  f " 

I  shook  my  head. 

"Then  have  you  lost  a  fortune — -all 
my  pretty  chickens  and  their  dam  at 
one  fell  swoop'?" 

Again  I  shook  my  head. 

'•  I  have  a  theory,  Walter,"  I  said,  '•  that 
at  some  time  in  middle  life  a  man  ought 
to  ejaculate  himself  from  his  environ 
ment  by  sheer  force,  and  spend  a  few 
months  in  some  wilderness  where  he  can 
make  his  own  acquaintance,  take  an  in 
ventory  of  his  intellectual  and  spiritual 
stock,  and  find  out  whether  he  is  good 
for  something  or  only  good  for  nothing." 

u  A  very  pretty  theory  !  " 

"And  a  wholesome  one,"  I  insisted. 
"  I  have  been  rubbing  against  my  kind 
until  my  flesh  is  tender  and  painfully 
sensitive,  and  I  am  going  to  winter  in 
the  woods,  with  the  partridges  and  thT> 


8  HHOlt'y   ,S'7T7>/A>'. 

evergreens  and  the  clouds  and  the  stars. 
I  have  been  at  the  grindstone  for  twenty 
years,  and  my  nerves  are  so  irritable  that 
they  fret  and  fume  when  the  wind  is 
east." 

Walter  thrust  his  hand  into  his  coat- 
pocket  as  though  hunting  for  his  pre 
scription-book. 

"  Xo,"  I  said,  decidedly,  u  I  will  swallow 
none  of  your  drugs.  What  I  want  is 
fresh  air,  freedom  from  anxiety,  a  fish- 
rod,  a  dog,  a  gun,  and  some  of  my  own 
thoughts  for  companions,  instead  of  this 
everlasting  chatter  about  stocks  and 
fashions  and  investments  and  'five  per 
cents.  I  don't  know  myself.  I  have 
been  talking  so  long  to  other  people,  and 
about  first  and  second  mortgages  and 
corner  lots  and  new  enterprises  and 
all  the  other  details  of  ordinary  life, 
that  when  night  comes  I  am  worn  out ; 
and  if  I  ask  my  brain  and  my  soul  how 
tliev  feel  and  what  they  have  been  do- 


ing,  I  drop  asleep  before  I  can  get  an 
answer." 

"You  go  alone?"  he  asked.  _ 

"Yes,  alone." 

"Will  yon  be  in  good  company  or  bad, 
if  yon  have  only  yourself  to  talk  to?" 

"  That  is  precisely  what  I  want  to  find 
out.  I  can't  answer  your  question  .just 
now,  but  if  you  will  meet  me  at  the 
club  some  time  in  March  next  I  will  tell 
you  frankly." 

"  Yon  are  a  bold  man  with  'a  bold  ex 
periment  on  hand.  If  you  can  live  with 
yourself  six  months  you  will  do  more 
than  most  men.  It  is  a  frightful  test  of 
endurance." 

I  shrugged  my  shoulders,  for  there  was 
apparently  nothing  to  say. 

"And  whither  speed  you,  my  boy?" 

"  To  a  camp  in  the  wroods,  on  the  edge 
of  a  lake.  I  bought  a  couple  of  hundred 
acres  two  years  ago,  and  there's  a  log  hut 
somewhere  on  the  tract.  I  hope  to  live 


10  HROWX  STUDIES. 

on  venison,  trout,  memories,  and  antici 
pations." 

"That  is  good  diet  if  you  have  plenty 
of  it.  When  do  you  start  ? " 

"  Next  week." 

"Will  you  dine  with  me  to-morrow? 
Perhaps  you  may  become  sane  by  that 
time." 

"  Thanks,  Walter,  but  you  must  excuse 
me.  I  am  up  to  my  ears  in  the  work  of 
preparation — canoes,  guides,  tackle,  am 
munition,  underwear,  and  all  the  rest  of  it." 

When  the  doctor  left  me  it  was  with 
the  impression  that  a  dose  of  calomel  or 
a  few  grains  of  quinine  would  give  me 
a  better  outlook.  He  had  the  courtesy, 
however,  to  wish  me  a  pleasant  winter, 
but  expressed  the  fear  that  when  spring 
opened  I  should  be  brought  home  in  the 
shape  of  a  dripping  icicle. 

I  bought  these  acres  with  the  deliber 
ate  purpose  of  expatriating  myself,  so  to 


AYTO    THE    WOODS.  11 

speak,  and  getting  into  some  sort  of  com 
munication  with  nature.  Ever  since  I 
passed  my  twentieth  birthday  I  have  been 
shoulder  to  shoulder  with  men,  and  if  you 
will  excuse  me  for  saying  so,  I  should  like 
a  change.  I  dived  into  the  whirlpool  of 
business  one  fine  August  evening  when 
my  father  came  to  me  and  said : 

"My  son,  I  have  bought  for  you  a 
junior  partnership  with  a  Wall  Street 
firm.  You  will  report  for  duty  at  ten 
o'clock  to-morrow  morning.  In  twenty 
years  you  will  either  have  a  fortune  or 
be  a  beggar — I  am  interested  to  know 
which.  •  If  you  have  any  mettle,  here  is 
the  opportunity  to  show  it.  I  think  you 
will  succeed,  but  that  is  your  affair,  not 
mine." 

The  twenty  years  have  gone.  My  father 
was  suddenly  summoned  in  1872,  and  the 
poor  mother,  after  mourning  over  her 
loss  for  eight  months,  went  to  find  the 
missing  one. 


12  KKOll'X  STl'DIES. 

I  did  not  make  a  fortune,  nor  did  I 
become  bankrupt.  I  have  enough  to 
supply  my  daily  needs  and  am  there 
fore  unwilling  to  waste  my  energy  in 
getting  more.  I  am  not  greedy ;  I  have 
simply  a  good  appetite.  I  don't  want 
all  there  is,  and  should  not  know  what 
to  do  with  it  if  I  had  it.  My  ambition 
is  not  to  leave  behind  me  a  pile  of 
money  for  my  heirs  to  quarrel  about,  but 
to  find  out  what  there  is  of  interest  in 
this  world  before  I  cross  the  border  and 
begin  to  explore  the  other  world.  It 
would  be  very  mortifying  if  the  Lord 
should  meet  me  on  a  street  in  the  New 
Jerusalem  and  say,  "  I  am  sorry  you 
spent  so  much  time  among  things  which 
you  could  not  bring  with  you." 

If  I  understand  the  Bible  it  is  simply 
a  guide-book  to  enable  you  to  prepare 
for  housekeeping  in  heaven.  You  will 
find  in  it  a  list  of  the  articles  you  will 
need  in  order  to  secure  comfort  and 


7.YTO    THE    WOODS.  13 

contentment  in  the  new  home ;  also  an 
injunction  not  to  go  with  a  hand-satchel 
and  leave  your  trunks  behind,  but  to  go 
with  your  trunks  and  leave  a  gripsack 
behind.  The  difficulty  with  most  men  is 
that  they  leave  too  much  and  take  too 
little.  I  am  thoroughly  selfish  in  this  mat 
ter,  and  wish  to  be  reasonably  equipped 
when  I  emigrate  to  the  invisible  conti 
nent,  and  long  ago  determined  to  provide 
myself  with  the  kind  of  furniture  which 
gray-bearded  old  Charon  will  be  willing 
to  transport  in  his  clumsy  boat. 

I  am  not  much  of  a  theologian,  but  I 
have  come  to  the  conclusion  that  the 
Lord  will  not  cross-examine  me  on  the 
propositions  of  the  Athanasian  Creed,  but 
will  inquire  rather  minutely — possibly 
with  disagreeable  minuteness — about  my 
private  life,  my  business  transactions,  and 
the  general  influence  I  exerted  on  the 
community. 

I  felt  a  good  deal  like  a  fur  cloak  that 


14  BROWN  STUDIES. 

has  been  stored  away  in  camphor.  The 
odor  of  the  drug  is  nauseating,  and  the 
cloak  must  be  exposed  to  cleansing  breezes 
before  it  is  fit  to  wear.  In  like  manner 
the  odor  of  worldliness,  of  money-mak 
ing,  of  balls  and  dinners  and  parties  had 
penetrated  every  fiber  of  my  being,  and 
I  could  only  get  rid  of  it  by  taking  to 
the  woods  and  introducing  myself  to  the 
thrushes  and  woodpeckers  and  evergreens 
and  snow-drifts.  If  I  could  once  put  my 
arms  about  the  neck  of  nature  and  tell 
her,  as  frankly  as  a  boy  talks  to  a  maiden, 
how  I  love  her,  I  thought  I  should  be  the 
better  for  it  all  my  days. 

My  little  parcel  of  wilderness  was  at 
the  western  end  of  the  Adirondacks,  so  re 
mote  from  civilization  that  after  I  left  the 
railroad  station  I  had  to  travel  thirty-six 
miles  by  wagon  to  the  rendezvous  where 
I  was  to  meet  my  two  guides  with  their 
canoes.  We  should  paddle  leisurely  up 
stream — there  are  three  portages,  I  was 


IM'O    THE    WOODS.  lf> 

told,  which  would  break  the  monotony 
of  the  journey — and  by  sundown  of  the 
second  day  enter  the  lake  on  which  my 
property  bordered,  with  a  good  substantial 
hut  in  full  view. 

You  have  almwty  guessed  that  I  am 
a  bachelor.  I  am  aware  that  the  term 
carries  a  certain  reproach  with  it,  The 
world  invariably  shrugs  its  shoulders  at 
an  unmarried  man,  and  its  shrug  is  ex 
pressive  of  a  modicum  of  contempt,  as 
though  it  would  say,  "  Ah,  yes  !  you  think 
no  one's  daughter  quite  good  enough  for 
you.  You  want  an  archangel  to  keep 
your  house  in  order,  and  as  very  few  of 
these  divinities  stray  away  from  the  re 
gions  above  you  prefer  to  live  in  cynical 
singleness.'' 

I  must  assure  you,  however,  that  if  this 
is  the  rule  concerning  bachelors,  I  am 
one  of  the  exceptions  which  prove  it  true. 

In  my  case  it  was  Her  fault,  not  mine. 


Hi  JiliOH'X   STl'DIES. 

That  was  a  very  tragic  episode  in  my 
life.  You  would  perhaps  be  interested  if 
I  could  speak  freely,  but  I  have  never  had 
a  confidant  and  must  be  excused.  That 
secret  is  known  only  to  Her  and  to  me 
and  to  One  other.  Some  people  find  com 
fort  in  talking,  but  I  should  find  pain. 

Suffice  it  that  I  am  not  of  the  number 
who  can  fall  out  of  one  love  into  another 
with  promptness  and  despatch.  Unfor 
tunately  I  am  so  constituted  that  a  single 
experience  is  all  I  can  endure.  I  do  not 
care  to  flatter  myself,  but  I  am  like  a  tree 
which  has  thrown  its  roots  down  dee})  in 
the  soil.  You  cannot  dig  it  up  and  trans 
plant  it,  for  it  will  certainly  die  if  you 
make  the  attempt. 

When  I  saw  Margaret  for  the  first  time 
I  said  to  myself,  "You  will  fall  in  love 
with  that  woman  unless  you  are  very 
careful."  But  it  was  too  late  even  then. 
We  were  like  two  drops  of  quicksilver, 
which,  the  moment  they  come  into  actual 


I  MO    THE    II'OOJ)S.  17 

contact,  become  incorporated  and  are 
thereafter  only  one  drop.  You  may  say 
that  in  her  I  found  my  fate,  or  you  may 
declare  that  she  and  I  were  affinities — I 
have  no  theory  on  the  subject. 

I  was  talking  with  a  scholarly  fellow, 
awhile  since,  who  had  a  lot  of  the  queerest 
theories,  and  he  made  some  very  curious 
statements. 

He  was  a  man  of  wealth  and  conse 
quent  leisure,  and  spent  most  of  his  time 
in  travel.  There  was  hardly  a  nook  or 
corner  of  the  earth  which  was  strange  to 
him.  In  his  early  days,  he  told  me,  he 
was  an  atheist,  but  was  cured  of  that 
disease  in  Khanowal,  in  the  Punjab  ter 
ritory.  He  lived  there  for  five  years, 
and  made  the  acquaintance  of  a  class  of 
uncanny  folk  known  as  Adepts.  He  was 
an  interesting  talker,  with  a  thousand 
adventures  at  his  tongue's  tip,  and  I  sat 
for  hours  at  a  time  in  a  corner  of  the  hotel 


18  IIKOU'X   STUDIES. 

veranda  listening  to  him  and  admiring 
his  versatility. 

Among  other  things  he  discoursed  of 
reincarnation,  but  I  grew  restless  and 
cried,  ''Nonsense,  Waldron  !  " 

"  Oh  !  "  he  replied,  quietly,  "  then  you 
know  something  about  the  subject?" 

"  Absolutely  nothing."  I  replied. 

'•And,  knowing  nothing,  you  think 
yourself  qualified  to  stigmatize  it  as  non 
sense,  eh  ? " 

The  absurdity  of  my  position  was  ap 
parent,  and  I  apologized  by  begging  him 
to  go  on,  but  could  not  repress  the  feeling 
that  he  had  gone  daft. 

UI  knew  a  very  singular  case,"  lie  con 
tinued,  u  and  you  may  be  interested  in  it. 
Two  Hindus  of  the  upper  class  met  by 
accident  one  afternoon,  and  the  next  day 
they  were  married." 

"  Rather  quick  work,"  I  suggested. 

"Yes,  but  there  was  reason  for  it.'' 

"So?" 


IXTO    THE    H'OODx.  m 

"  Iii  a  previous  stage  of  existence  they 
had  been  husband  and  wife.  After  death, 
of  course,  they  remembered  the  relations 
which  they  held  to  each  other,  for  death 
has  no  power  to  obliterate  or  even  impair 
the  memory.  It  is  not  when  we  die  that 
we  forget,  but  when  we  are  born.  There 
is  a  subtle  mystery  about  birth,  for  dur 
ing  its  processes  the  entire  past  is  for 
gotten  and  we  begin  anew.  But  in  this 
instance  birth  did  not  produce  its  ordi 
nary  effect.  The  memory  of  the  former 
life  was  blurred,  and  misty  as  a  dream, 
but  it  was  nevertheless  sufficiently  vivid 
to  make  them  search  for  each  other  with 
out  exactly  knowing  that  they  were  doing 
so.  When  they  met  recognition  took 
place  immediately,  and  so  they  brooked 
no  delay,  but  were  married  at  once." 

The  story  is  certainly  incredible,  and 
yet,  long  after  Waldron  left  me,  I  sat 
thinking  about  it.  I  wondered  if  the 


STUDIES. 

reason  why  Margaret  and  I  fell  in  love 
at  first  sight,  and  felt,  as  we  often  said, 
that  we  had  known  each  other  for  cen 
turies,  could  be  accounted  for  on  Wal- 
dron's  theory. 

But  the  time  came  when  we  quarreled. 
Something  happened — whose  fault  it  was 
I  cannot  say,  but  probably  it  was  mine. 
There  were  charges  and  countercharges. 
I  have  quick  blood,  and  say  more  than 
I  mean  when  I  am  heated.  Perhaps 
she  meant  less  than  she  said.  How  the 
trouble  assumed  such  grave  proportions 
that  she  could  dismiss  me  on  the  spot  I 
have  never  been  able  to  understand.  Mar 
garet  was  proud  and  I  was  obstinate  ;  so 
the  next  day  a  messenger  brought  me  a 
little  box  containing  the  engagement  ring, 
and  then  I  knew  there  was  no  help  for  me. 

Let  me  simply  add  that  within  a  few 
months  she  married  the  man  whom  she 
did  not  love  in  order  to  be  revenged 
upon  the  man  whom  she  did  love,  and 


INTO   THE    WOODS.  21 

the  two  went  to  Florida,  where  they  lived 
on  an  orange  plantation. 

I  assure  yon  that  this  experience  has 
not  embittered  me.  I  do  not  know  why 
I  should  become  cynical  because  I  have 
suffered  a  great  disappointment,  or,  as 
Falconer  says,  because 

"Dire  Fate  in  venom  dipped  her  keenest  dart," 

and  left  it  quivering  in  my  flesh.  Love  is 
still  love,  though  my  share  has  been  taken 
away.  Women  are  trne  and  loyal,  and 
if  she  ceased  to  care  for  me  I  must  needs 
think  that  I  was  not  worthy  of  her,  for 
a  nobler  sonl  never  resided  in  a  beautiful 
body. 

Somehow  I  have  always  thought  of 
myself  as  a  married  man,  and  can  no 
more  enter  into  relations  with  another 
woman  than  if  my  wife  had  gone  to 
Europe  for  a  time.  I  am  lonely  and 
homesick,  and  once  in  a  while  frightfully 
despondent;  bul  they  tell  us  that  after 


1>2  BROWN   STl'inES. 

death  we  shall  have  an  opportunity  to 
rectify  the  mistakes  of  the  present  life, 
and  I  like  to  believe  that  this  opportunity 
will  come  to  me. 

Margaret  is  constantly  in  my  thoughts, 
and  I  have  never  been  without  knowledge 
of  her.  The  memory  of  those  old  days  is 
like  the  lamps  in  Catholic  churches  whose 
flame  the  priests  never  allow  to  go  out. 
The  oil  is  constantly  replenished  and  the 
light  is  forever  bright. 

It  so  happens  that  I  have  a  second 
cousin  who  lived  within  a  few  miles  of 
Her.  She  has  been  the  watchful  provi 
dence  over  the  house  which  held  my  lost 
Margaret  and  my  rival. 

When  the  times  were  hard,  and  the 
mortgagee  who  had  loaned  money  on  the 
plantation  was  about  to  foreclose,  my 
good  cousin  drew  on  me,  but  Margaret 
never  knew  who  befriended  her. 

The  relief  was  offered  with  a  finesse  as 
attenuated  as  a  spider's  web  in  the  grass, 


which  you  know  is  never  visible  except 
in  the  early  morning1  when  it  glistens 
with  dewdrops.  When  my  cousin  spun 
her  web  there  was  never  any  dew  on  it 
to  render  it  visible. 

But  I  must  say  no  more  on  this  sub 
ject.  I  have  partly  taken  you  into  my 
confidence  that  I  may  offer  you  a  key  to 
some  of  the  incidents  which  I  am  about 
to  relate.  When  a  man  has  had  such  an 
experience  at  thirty,  and  has  not  recov 
ered  from  it  at  forty,  he  does  well  to  take 
to  the  woods.  That  is  what  I  am  going* 
to  do  with  my  two  guides,  my  canoes,  my 
dog,  my  guns,  and  my  love  of  nature  in 
all  her  moods. 

"  What  a  blessing  it  is,"  I  said  to  my 
self,  as  I  stood  on  the  bank  of  the  stream 
ready  for  the  start — "  what  a  blessing  it 
is  to  have  all  out  of  doors  for  an  environ 
ment  !  Fresh  air  straight  from  the  north 
west,  and  sifted  through  thousands  of 


24  JiltOII'X  STUDIES. 

acres  of  pine  forest !  And  such  a  quan 
tity  of  it !  Why,  I  have  been  here  only 
half  an  hour,  and  yet  what  a  change  in 
me !  I  feel  as  though  I  were  sliding 
downhill  into  my  boyhood  again. 

"  If  the  guides  were  not  here  I  should 
like  to  throw  my  head  back  and  scream 
from  sheer  excess  of  enjoyment.  But  that 
would  never  do.  I  must  maintain  my 
dignity  before  them  at  any  cost.  But  if 
I  were  alone  I  believe  I  could  chase  a 
squirrel  up  a  tree." 

I  took  long  breaths,  until  my  lungs 
began  to  puff  out  and  my  nerves  tingled 
as  though  an  electric  current  were  pass 
ing  through  them.  Yes,  I  did  right  to 
get  away  from  the  city,  with  its  rumble 
and  roar,  which  seems  to  ring  everlasting 
variations  on  the  words  u  Hard  Cash !  " 
The  friction  had  worn  on  me,  body  and 
brain  alike,  and  a  proportion  of  my  recent 
depression  came  from  restaurant  gravies 


/.wo  TIII:  ;ro<ms.  25 

and  trying  to  keep  up  a  conversation  with 
people  I  eared  nothing  about. 

One  of  the  profoundest  afflietions  of 
life  is  to  talk  from  sheer  courtesy,  and 
wonder  wrhat  you  will  say  when  the  re 
mark  you  are  now  making  has  passed 
your  lips.  I  have  had  cold  chills  creep 
over  me  as  the  conversation  lagged,  and 
I  had  exhausted  my  entire  repertoire  of 
topics,  but  knew  that  I  must  smile  and 
chatter  on  until  somebody  came  to  my 
relief. 

But  to  be  in  the  woods  loosens  the 
tongue.  Your  thoughts  come  in  a  crowd, 
like  a  troop  of  gay  dancers,  and  your 
mental  exhilaration  is  simply  ecstatic. 
There  is  such  a  friendliness  in  a  forest ! 
The  trees  are  all  so  brotherly  that  when 
you  are  about  to  leave,  and  try  to  thank 
them  for  their  hospitality,  they  seem  to 
say,  "  You  can  pay  us  for  it  all  by  coming 
aeraiii." 


26  HJlOll'y  STUDIES. 

And  such  a  restfulness  steals  over  you  ! 
Nature  is  never  in  a  hurry.  She  has  all 
the  time  there  is,  and  her  big  heart  never 
rises  above  the  normal  seventy-two  beats 
per  minute.  How  leisurely  she  changes 
autumn  into  winter  and  winter  into 
spring !  What  a  delightful  spirit  of  re 
pose  is  found  everywhere,  and  how  quietly 
she  does  her  work  ! 

I  was  curiously  impressed  by  this  fact 
as  I  watched  my  boatmen  lazily  loading 
the  canoes,  and  then  turned  to  my  dog, 
who  was  lying  on  the  grass  and  yawning. 

I  wonder  if  I  can  describe  that  scene  ? 
It  was  a  beautiful  picture,  and  I  shall 
never  forget  the  impression  it  made  on 
me.  I  hardly  know  why,  but  for  a  while 
what  we  call  civilization  seemed  abhor 
rent  to  me,  and  this  communion  with 
nature  the  only  healthy  life  for  a  man  to 
lead.  Even  the  memory  of  the  city,  with 
its  smoke  and  its  unceasing  noise ;  its 
cobblestones  and  brick  houses;  its  rush 


IX  TO    THE    WOODS.  27 

and  crush ;  its  palaces  and  tenement- 
houses,  with  no  sense  of  brotherhood  be 
tween  them  in  spite  of  all  the  pulpits  and 
all  the  clergy ;  its  dens  of  infamy  trap 
ping  the  pure  and  innocent  and  throwing 
them  back  on  the  world  reeking  with 
vicious  habits ;  its  social  shams ;  its  mar 
riage  system,  in  which  hearts  are  bought 
by  the  highest  bidder  and  sweet  girDiood 
sacrificed  to  a  corner  house  on  the  avenue 
and  a  yacht — yes,  the  memory  of  wrhat  I 
left  behind  me  grated  on  my  nerves,  and 
I  thought  that  the  life  of  an  Indian,  or 
an  ancient  Celt,  or  the  barbarian  of  the 
stone  age,  was  better  than  that  of  the 
nineteenth  century  in  a  great  city. 

The  savage  had  his  hut  and — health ; 
the  man  of  to-day  has  his  equipage,  his 
country  and  town  houses,  the  greenest 
envy  of  his  neighbors,  and — gout. 

There  on  my  right  was  Leo.  No  one 
shall  insult  him  by  saying  he  is  "  only  a 
do£."  He  is  mv  intimate  friend  and  com- 


28  JiJiOII'X   STUDIES, 

panion.  He  would  stand  by  me  in  good 
and  evil  report,  and  there  is  no  danger 
he  would  not  willingly  share.  A  mag 
nificent  St.  Bernard  of  the  bluest  blood, 
without  a  single  taint  of  vulgarity — how 
I  love  him !  When  I  talk  to  him  seri 
ously  he  barks  a  reply,  as  though  to  say, 
''I  understand  you  perfectly,  but  my 
larynx  is  out  of  order."  I  am  very  sure 
that  the  soul  of  a  philosopher  is  im 
prisoned  in  that  fellow's  body,  and  that 
by  and  by,  in  some  other  world,  he  will 
introduce  himself  to  me,  and  thank  me 
for  all  I  have  done  to  make  his  present 
life  comfortable. 

The  other  day  I  was  unusually  moody. 
Old  memories  teased  and  fretted  me.  Leo 
walked  deliberately  round  my  chair,  then 
sat  down  on  his  haunches  and  gazed  into 
my  face  so  pityingly  that  I  could  hardly 
endure  it.  A  moment  later  he  laid  his 
big  head  on  my  knee,  glanced  up  at  me, 
and  gave  a  low  whine.  Ah  me !  there 


Ul) 

arc  not  many  friends  as  satisfactory  as  a 
brainy  St.  Bernard  dog,  or,  if  there  are,  I 
have  not  found  them. 

For  all  the  love  lie  has  given  me  I  will 
say,  as  Mrs.  Browning-  sings  : 

"  Therefore  to  this  dog  will  I 
Tenderly,  not  scornfully, 

Render  praise  and  favor  : 
With  my  hand  upon  his  head 
Is  my  benediction  said, 

Therefore,  and  forever." 

Just  yonder  were  John  Thomas  and 
Sim  ( }rump,  the  first  six  feet  three,  and 
the  second  a  good-natured,  jolly  little 
sphere,  as  broad  as  he  was  long.  John 
was  indulging  in  a  pipe  and  Sim  was 
whittling  a  pine  stick.  They  were  un 
gainly  creatures,  and  my  friends  might 
speak  of  them  as  uncouth ;  but  Sim,  I 
heard,  could  cook  a  trout  or  broil  a  par 
tridge,  and  bake  potatoes  in  the  hot  ashes 
— in  a  word,  get  up  such  a  dinner  that  if 
the  gods  of  Olympus  were  invited  they 


^0  liltOll'N  STUDIES. 

would  ask  for  the  privilege  of  coming 
again  the  next  week.  '  As  for  John,  he 
eonld  track  a  bear  or  stalk  a  deer  with 
snch  finesse  of  skill  that  bear  or  deer 
regarded  it  a  pleasure  to  die.  He  was  a 
wonderful  woodsman  and  was  never  so 
happy  as  when  in  the  forest's  depths. 
Taciturn,  because  he  had  lived  so  long  in 
solitude,  he  could  nevertheless  talk  won 
derfully  well,  when  moved  to  talk  at  all, 
on  the  habits  of  every  animal  in  the  Adi- 
rondacks.  He  had  110  mania  for  shoot 
ing,  and  would  often  sit  for  hours,  as  still 
as  death,  watching  a  doe  learning  the 
lesson  of  caution  from  the  mother-deer. 
He  was  no  butcher,  but  a  genuine  sports 
man. 

The  canoes  lay  in  the  stream,  their 
noses  on  the  bank  for  anchorage.  In 
the  first  and  second  were  our  luggage  and 
provisions,  while  the  third  was  reserved 
for  Leo  and  myself.  Everything  was 
ready  for  a  start.  It  was  late  in  the 


L\TO    THE    WOODS.  :U 

afternoon,  but  we  should  have  a  full 
moon  and  could  paddle  along  until  mid 
night. 

Far  away  in  the  west  the  sun  had  sunk 
into  the  haze  at  the  horizon,  and  looked 
like  a  huge  orange.  "Fair  weather  to 
morrow,"  said  John,  "or  the  signs  will 
fail  up  on  me." 

I  stood  for  some  minutes  looking  at 
the  wondrous  orb.  When  he  rose  in  the 
morning  I  was  part  and  parcel  of  the 
great  city.  Now,  at  eventide,  he  and  I 
were  alone  together,  and  it  seemed  to  me 
that  as  his  lower  limb  dipped  below  my 
line  of  vision  he  said  "  Good-night !  "  with 
a  smile  of  approval. 

Half-way  up  the  heavens  was  a  mag 
nificent  cumulus,  surrounded  by  the  blue 
of  the  sky  like  a  picture  in  a  frame.  Its 
outer  edges  were  as  white  as  snow — daz- 
zlingly  white — while  the  middle  ground 
was  the  color  of  ashes  of  roses.  It  sailed 
toward  the  east,  attended  by  a  troop  of 


32  HKOU'X   STl'DIEX. 

lesser  clouds,  like  a  queen  with  her  ret 
inue. 

And  while  I  looked  its  whole  aspect 
changed.  A  slight  tinge  of  brilliant  red 
crept  over  it,  and  in  a  few  moments  it 
blushed  a  deep  crimson,  as  though  the 
peering  sun  had  caught  it  in  the  arms  of 
a  lover.  It  was  an  amazing  spectacle — 
such  a  spectacle  as  makes  one  heave  a 
sigh  without  knowing  why  a  sigh  better 
befits  the  occasion  than  a  smile.  John 
looked,  and  took  his  pipe  out  of  his  mouth. 
Sim  looked,  and  stopped  whittling.  But 
neither  of  them  uttered  a  word,  and  I 
liked  them  all  the  better  for  it. 

I  dislike  to  hear  any  one  talk  when  he 
is  looking  at  what  is  beautiful  or  sublime. 
It  shows  that  the  looker-on  has  only  a 
superficial  appreciation.  Nature  does  her 
best  for  the  man  who  has  sense  enough 
to  be  silent. 

Shortly  after  that  the  dusk  settled 
down  on  the  landscape.  Venus  appeared 


IX  TO   THE    WOODS.  33 

wearing  a  burnished  silver  shield,  and  we 
started,  the  silence  only  broken  by  the 
measured  cadence  of  the  dripping  oars 
and  the  soft  music  of  rippling1  water  at 
the  bows  of  the  boats. 

Leo  looked  at  me  with  those  wondrous 
eyes  which  seemed  to  say,  "I  wonder 
what  She  is  doing  now?"  then  laid  his 
head  on  his  paws  and  dropped  asleep. 


CHAPTER  II. 

DO   FLOWERS   HAVE    SOULS? 

HERE  I  am  at  home  in  the  woods  at 
last.  We  reached  the  end  of  our  journey 
yesterday  afternoon  at  about  four  o'clock, 
and  Sim  heaved  a  sigh  of  relief  when  the 
bow  of  my  canoe  grated  on  the  little 
patch  of  sandy  beach  in  front  of  the 
camp. 

There  is  a  clnmp  of  trees  close  to  the 
water's  edge,  and  as  the  wind  is  blow 
ing  they  gently  wave  their  branches, 
which  I  take  to  be  a  graceful  greeting  to 
onr  little  party.  They  are  mostly  needle 
pines,  and  as  the  pine  is  always  an  ^Eo- 
lian  harp,  we  are  welcomed  by  music. 

The  air  is  warm,  but  crisp  and  brae- 
34 


IK)    r  LOWE  US    HAVE  SOULS?          35 

in<r.  There  is  not  a  cloud  to  be  seen, 
and  the  sky  is  so  blue — so  exquisitely 
blue — that  I  say  to  myself,  "This  must 
be  a  suburb  of  the  New  Jerusalem,  and  if 
a  group  of  angels  were  to  come  and  sup 
with  me  I  should  not  be  surprised."  Al 
together  I  feel  that  nature  lias  grasped 
me  by  the  hand  with  the  hope  that  I 
may  enjoy  the  winter. 

I  scarcely  believe  there  can  be  many 
spectacles  as  beautiful  as  that  on  which  I 
looked  when  Leo  and  I  leaped  from  the 
boat  and  stood  gazing  in  open-eyed  won 
der.  There  was  a  magic  in  it  all,  as 
though  one  of  the  fabled  genii  had  trans 
ported  us  to  wonderland.  And  when,  a 
short  half-hour  later,  the  wind  suddenly 
died  out,  and  the  lake  went  to  sleep  with 
not  a  ripple  on  its  surface,  I  felt  that  per 
haps  the  echo  of  that  Voice  which  once 
said,  u Peace,  be  still!  "  had  just  reached 
this  secluded  spot,  and  the  lake  had  heard 
it  and  obeyed. 


36  BROWN  STUDIES. 

A  short  distance  back  of  me,  as  I 
face  the  west,  stands  the  camp,  on  rising 
ground,  and  close  to  the  edge  of  the 
woods.  It  is  made  of  rough-hewn  logs, 
but  the  man  who  planned  it  and  chose  its 
location  was  an  artist.  As  a  Avoodland 
home  for  a  fellow  not  quite  satisfied  with 
his  fate,  whose  heart-beats  are  in  the 
minor  key,  it  is  simply  a  dream.  The 
moment  1  saw  it  I  said :  u  This  suits  my 
mood.  I  like  the  corrugated  bark  on  the 
logs  of  that  hut,  and  I  like  the  old  stumps 
in  the  clearing  in  front,  and  the  wild 
asters  which  peep  up  on  every  hand,  and 
the  tinted  leaves  of  the  bushes  which  an 
early  frost  has  doomed." 

Yes,  there  are  about  a  thousand  square 
yards  of  clearing  between  the  house  and 
the  lake,  and  these  old  stumps  seem  like 
a  company  of  brown  dwarfs  who  have 
come  to  be  my  companions  until  the 
snow  covers  them  up.  On  the  right  and 
left,  as  we  sit  on  the  little  veranda,  stretcl: 


DO   FLOWERS  HAVE  SOULS?          3? 

Ihe  woods,  somber,  grave,  dignified,  for 
they  have  full  twenty  years'  growth  to 
their  credit.  They  remind  me  of  an  army 
of  stalwart  fellows  in  green  uniform. 
That  huge  oak  in  the  middle  of  the  clear 
ing,  which  the  woodsman's  ax  has  spared, 
and  which  rises  straight  of  stature  a  good 
seventy-five  feet,  is  their  major-general. 

As  1  sit  here,  Leo  at  my  side,  I  can 
hear  the  cheery  voice  of  a  streamlet  hard 
by,  singing  as  it  tumbles  over  the  stones. 
Some  one  has  dug  a  hole  on  its  edge  and 
driven  a  barrel  down,  the  water  in  which 
— clear  as  crystal — constitutes  our  supply 
for  the  kitchen. 

In  front  of  me  the  lake  stretches  for 
three  good  miles,  its  shores  overhung  by 
undergrowth,  with  once  in  a  while  a  tall 
pine  bending  over  as  though  trying  to 
catch  a  glimpse  of  itself  in  the  Claude 
Lorrain  glass  at  its  foot ;  for  trees  are 
just  as  vain  of  their  beauty  as  men  and 
women. 


38  lili'Oiry  STUDIES. 

Over  yonder  a  point  of  land  juts  far 
out  into  the  lake.  Had  it  been  of  soft 
alluvial  soil,  it  would  have  been  washed 
away  by  prehistoric  storms;  but  it  is  a 
rocky  mass,  blackened  by  time,  and  will 
therefore  hold  its  own  for  centuries  yet. 

Farther  off,  in  the  background,  are  two 
cone-like  elevations,  green  to  their  sum 
mits,  but  with  a  roadway  of  white 
adown  their  sides,  where  an  avalanche  in 
some  fierce  winter  has  plowed  a  path  and 
taken  everything  with  it  except  the  lime 
stone  and  the  granite,  which  refused  to 
join  the  mad  runaway. 

My  camp  has  three  rooms :  two  in  the 
main  building,  and  one  in  the  ell  which 
serves  as  the  lodging-place  of  my  guides. 
My  own  room  faces  the  south,  and  on  the 
western  end  is  a  huge  fireplace  where' 
four-foot  logs  Avill  burn  bright  by  and 
by.  There  is  a  rude  table  in  the  middle, 
some  book-shelves  on  the  side,  a  couple 
of  chairs  which  have  seen  better  da  vs. 


1)0    FLOWEES    HAVE   KOl'LSf          39 

and  a  dilapidated  bedstead  which  I  sliall 
break  up  for  kindling-wood,  as  I  propose 
to  sleep  ou  nothing  less  fragrant  than 
hemlock-boughs. 

The  second  room  is  of  equal  size,  and 
is  to  be  the  kitchen  and  eating-room. 

•lust,  before  sundown  Sim  came  to  me 
with  inquiries  about  supper. 

"'What  have  you  to  offer?'7  I  asked. 

"Bacon  and  baked  potatoes,  or  a  slice 
oi'  ham,  or  some  canned  meats.  We  may 
have  venison  after  a  little,  and  ought  to 
get  partridges,  or  possibly  a  wood-duck, 
and  along  the  trail  that  leads  out  to  the 
setl lenient  I  have  seen  rabbits,  but  to 
night"-—  and  he  hesitated. 

"Well,  Sim."  I  ventured,  "I  have  the 
appetite  of  Cyclops,  but  none  of  these 
things  suit  me.  Can't  you  think  of  any 
thing  else?'' 

''Hot  rolls,  buckwheat  cakes" — he 
began. 


40  BROWN  STUDIES. 

"No,  110,  not  to-night.  Give  me — let 
me  see" — and  I  looked  toward  the  lake 
wondering  what  I  wanted  most.  "Ah! 
I  have  it.  You  shall  broil  me  a  fine 
trout,  Sim." 

He  smiled  and  shrugged  his  shoulders. 
"  Bring  me  the  trout  and  I'll  cook  him," 
he  said,  seiitentiously. 

No  sooner  said  than  done ;  or,  rather, 
no  sooner  said  than  begun. 

"John,  where  is  my  rod?" 

"  In  the  southeast  corner  of  the  kitchen, 
sir." 

"And  my  flies?" 

"  Here  in  my  pocket,  sir." 

In  ten  minutes  I  was  in  one  of  the 
canoes,  paddling  with  all  niy  might.  A 
sense  of  exhilaration  crept  over  me,  and 
I  felt  like  an  emigrant  from  Olympus. 
A  man  with  a  trout-rod  in  his  hand  is 
always  young.  The  man  who  must  catch 
his  supper  before  he  can  eat  it  feels  that 
life  is  worth  living,  for  he  has  a  great 
purpose  in  view. 


'A   THHKE    I'OUNDKH."       I'llf/e   41. 


DO  FLOWERS  HAVE  SOULS?          41 

At  the  very  first  cast  I  hud  a  rise,  and 
was  elated.  After  that,  for  a  while  at 
least,  it  seemed  as  though  all  the  fish 
had  heard  of  my  fame  as  a  sportsman, 
and  gone  into  hiding.  I  threw  the  fly 
so  deftly — excuse  my  egotism — that  it 
lighted  on  the  water  like  a  moth;  but 
there  was  no  response. 

Then  I  became  disgusted,  and  pulled 
away  to  another  spot  where  the  shadow 
of  the  woods  made  the  lake  look  gloomy, 
and  threw  a  white  fly.  How  my  heart 
jumped !  There  was  a  splash,  then  a 
quick  movement  of  my  right  arm  as  I 
fastened  the  hook  in  the  jaws  of  my 
game,  then  a  hissing  sound  as  the  silk 
ran  over  the  reel,  and  I  was  happy  and 
excited.  What  a  struggle!  "A  three- 
pounder  ! "  I  said  to  myself,  and  my 
nerves  began  to  tingle. 

I  am  rather  proud  of  my  skill  as  a 
fisherman,  but  it  was  fully  twenty  min 
utes  before  that  trout  surrendered  and 
allowed  me  to  draw  him  within  reach  of 


42  lUiOU'X  STUDIES. 

my  net.  He  was  landed  at  last,  and  I 
rowed  home  in  great  glee. 

Such  a  supper!  ';So,  so,  Van  Nest," 
I  said,  when  I  had  finished,  "you  wanted 
me  to  take  quinine,  or  possibly  a  dose  of 
calomel,  eh?  Broiled  trout  and  bacon, 
with  a  good  cup  of  black  coffee,  are  bet 
ter  than  all  the  prescriptions  you  ever 
wrote." 

That  night  Leo  and  I  went  to  bed  at 
nine  o'clock.  John  had  spread  a  lot  of 
hemlock-boughs  in  the  corner,  making  a 
mattress  a  foot  thick,  and  over  this  was 
laid  a  large  blanket.  Leo  took  his  place 
at  my  feet,  as  he  always  does,  and  before 
I  could  say  good-night  to  the  dear  fellow 
I  was  sound,  sound,  sound  asleep. 

In  the  city  I  used  to  toss  about  in  Hie 
most  restless  fashion,  but  in  the  woods  I 
simply  shut  my  eyes  and  was  gone. 

"No,  John/'  I  said,  when  the  guide 
asked  me  to  take  a  tramp  with  my  rifle 


1)0   FL01VEUS   HAVE   ,SO  TA.S .»          4,'5 

Hie  next  morning — £>no,  it  is  a  duty  to 
devote  my  first  day  here  to  delicious  in 
dolence.1' 

'•Kutlier  queer  to  call  doin'  nothin'  a 
duty,"  he  responded.  "  Guess  if  the  Lord 
had  put  that  down  in  the  Decalogue  it 
would  'a'  been  considerable  gratifyin'  to 
human  natur  in  general.  However,  there's 
lots  of  folks  who  act  as  though  the  Lord 
had  forbid  'em  to  work,  and  would  be 
down  011  'em  ef  they  did  a  stroke." 

"  And  what  are  you  going  to  do J? "  I 
asked. 

''  Oh,  just  slouch  about  a  bit  and  see  if 
any  thin'  comes  in  my  way." 

So  John  disappeared  with  his  gun,  and 
1  lay  down  on  a  patch  of  soft  grass,  with 
woods  and  lake  and  sky  in  full  view,  to 
think,  and,  if  possible,  make  my  own  ac 
quaintance. 

In  this  way  I  spent  two  delightful 
hours.  Not  a  sound  was  heard  except 
the  melancholy  voice  of  the  pines  and  the 


44  JiKOWN  STUDIES. 

occasional  shrill  note  of  the  kingfisher  or 
the  tap,  tap  of  some  stray  woodpecker 
prospecting  for  his  dinner. 

As  I  watched  the  kingfisher  and  list 
ened  to  the  woodpecker's  tap,  the  folk 
lore  about  birds  came  to  mind — those 
pretty  stories  which  the  peasants  of 
Europe  like  to  tell  to  their  children,  and 
which  are  half  believed. 

The  poor  sparrow,  for  example,  has 
few  friends.  Nobody  speaks  a  kind  word 
for  him,  or  wants  him  flying  about  the 
house.  The  swallow,  on  the  other  hand, 
can  come  when  he  pleases,  for  he  brings 
good  luck. 

If  you  happen  to  visit  Sweden  some 
day,  you  may  hear  a  very  interesting- 
legend  of  the  sparrow,  and  learn  why  he 
is  never  welcome.  Your  host  will  tell 
you,  if  you  win  his  confidence,  that  the 
sparrow  did  not  behave  very  well  during 
the  tragedy  of  the  Crucifixion,  and  that, 


DO   FLOWE11S  RAVE  SOULS?          45 

in  a  word,  he  represented  the  evil  one  on 
that  occasion. 

That  is  a  serious  charge,  but  your  host 
will  assure  you  that  the  statement  is  well 
founded,  and  you  will  do  well  not  to  cul 
tivate  an  intimate  acquaintance  with  that 
bird,  for  ill  fortune  is  sure  to  follow. 

When  all  was  ready  for  the  execution 
on  Calvary  the  swallows  were  so  affected 
that  they  swept  through  the  air  in  great 
excitement,  and,  hovering  near  the  person 
of  Christ,  did  what  they  could  to  comfort 
and  console  him.  When  the  nails  had 
been  laid  on  the  ground  these  little  swal 
lows  carried  them  away,  and  so  tried  to 
save  their  Friend.  But  the  wicked  spar 
rows  were  also  present,  and  when  they 
saw  where  the  nails  had  been  hidden  they 
brought  them  back. 

Your  Swedish  host  will  also  call  your 
attention  to  the  wonderful  charity  which 
Christ  had  for  all  creatures.  He  musf 


46  BIIOH'X  STUDIES. 

have  known— for  nothing  could  be  hid 
den  from  Him — that  the  sparrow  has  a 
depraved  nature  and  seeks  every  oppor 
tunity  to  lead  vis  into  mischief,  and  yet 
when  speaking-  of  the  providence  of  God 
He  chose  this  bird  for  illustration,  saying', 
"  Are  not  two  sparrows  sold  for  a  far 
thing?  and  one  of  them  shall  not  fall  on 
the  ground  without  your  Father." 

You  will  furthermore  be  told,  with 
many  a  shake  of  the  head,  that  when  the 
Saviour  was  on  the  cross,  and  the  officials 
were  anxious  to  learn  whether  death  had 
come  or  not,  these  malevolent  sparrows 
cried  out,  "  Fif  !  Fif !  "  or,  "  He  is  living ! 
He  is  living !  •"  with  the  hope  that  His 
agony  might  be  prolonged  by  fresh  cruel 
ties;  but  the  little  swallows  set  up  a 
counter-cry  of  "  timer !  Umer !  *'  or,  '•  1  Ee 
ls  dead !  He  is  dead  !  "  thinking  therein' 
to  protect  Him  from  the  thrust  of  the 
spear. 

For  these  reasons  it  is  considered  a 


HO    I'LOIVEHK    HAVE   HO('LS>          47 

good  sign  when  the  swallows  build  their 
nests  under  the  eaves  of  your  house,  and 
an  unhappy  omen  when  the  sparrows  are 
attracted  either  to  your  house  or  barn. 

Is  it  not  plain,  therefore,  that,  whether 
rightly  or  wrongly,  the  people  of  earlier 
days — the  days  before*  science  robbed  life 
of  its  poetry  and  romance,  and  reduced  it 
to  a  series  of  dry  and  commonplace  facts 
— thought  of  nature,  trees,  grass,  flowers, 
and  clouds  as  an  assemblage  of  beings, 
not  as  mere  things?  Everything  had  a 
voice  with  which  it  could  converse  about 
its  wants  and  pleasures,  and  the  swallow 
and  the  sparrow  and  the  flowers  and  the 
pines  could  communicate  with  one  another 
in  a  language  which,  alas !  no  man  could 
understand. 

Do  you  know,  I  am  more  than  half  in 
clined  to  believe,  as  the  ancient  Greeks 
did,  that  there  are  invisible  beings  every 
where,  and  that  everything  in  nature  has 
a  soul.  I  never  broke  a  rose  from  its 


48  BROWN  STUDIES. 

stem  or  plucked  a  daisy  in  the  field  with 
out  wondering  whether  it  felt  the  wound, 
and  when  I  hear  the  woodsman's  ax  fall 
against  the  trunk  of  some  stately  tree  it 
seems  to  me  that  I  can  hear  a  groan  in 
the  air,  as  though  the  spirit  of  the  tree 
were  suffering. 

Why  not?  Is  there  not  some  strange 
intelligence  in  the  seed,  which  is  no  sooner 
planted  than  it  begins  to  develop,  send 
ing  a  shoot  through  the  soil  in  search  of 
sunshine?  And  is  not  this  intelligence 
made  even  more  manifest  when  from  the 
sod  the  proper  constituents  are  selected 
for  its  growth,  and  year  after  year  it 
spreads  out  its  branches  until  it  becomes 
a  maple  or  an  oak  or  a  birch,  in  all  the 
beauty  of  perfection  ? 

And  when  the  stem  of  a  flower  is  puls 
ing  with  joyous  life,  and  manufactures  in 
the  secret  laboratory  under  our  feet  that 
delicious  perfume  with  which  it  fills  the 
air,  is  it  all  unconscious  of  what  it  is 
doing,  and  has  it  no  purpose  in  view  ? 


1)0    FLO IV KUS  HATE   SOULS!          49 

And  when  I  pluck  the  flower  does  it 
not  fed  the  fracture  of  its  life  as  truly 
as  the  ant  does  which  I  tread  to  death 
under  my  foot?  If  I  can  suffer,  if  tlie 
dog-  can  suffer,  if  the  worm  can  suffer, 
why  not  the  rose  and  the  geranium? 
How  do  I  know  that  the  blossom  is  in 
different  to  its  fate,  and  why  should  I 
think  it  is  .so?  May  I  not  believe  with 
reason  that  there  is  a  flower  soul  as  wrell 
as  a  man  soul  ? 

At  any  rate,  the  feeling1  that  this  is 
possible  has  given  me  a  very  tender  love 
of  nature.  When  I  gazed  on  the  bed  of 
pimpernels  which  grew  close  by  my  side, 
they  perhaps  knew  what  I  was  doing  and 
appreciated  my  admiration.  Was  it  a 
false  sentiment  which  held  my  hand  back 
as  I  was  about  to  pluck  one  to  exam 
ine  it,  and  forced  me  to  say,  uXo,  let  it 
enjoy  its  little  life  as  I  enjoy  mine.  Why 
should  I  destroy  it  for  a  moment's  plea 
sure  or  to  satisfy  my  curiosity?"  So  I 
looked  and  looked  and  held  mv  magnify 


50  JiUOWX  STUDIES. 

ing-glass  over  its  petals,  and  could  not 
help  thinking  that  it  heard  me  when  I 
said  aloud,  "  What  a  dainty  little  beauty 
you  are ! " 

I  have  great  sympathy  with  the  views 
of  the  Athenian  merchant  in  the  days 
when  Socrates  was  suffering  from  his 
wife's  ill  temper  and  was  glad  to  get 
away  from  the  dispute  at  home  to  in 
dulge  in  an  argument  at  the  street  corner 
with  some  sophist.  He  had  his  country 
house  on  the  level  plain  at  the  foot  of 
Mount  Hymettus,  which  assumed  a  violet 
hue  in  the  twilight.  Everything  about 
him  was  associated  with  some  divinity, 
whose  good-will  Avas  sought  by  oblations 
of  milk  and  honey.  The  woods  hard  by 
were  filled  with  dryads  who  roamed  at 
their  pleasure,  while  that  stately  oak  yon 
der  contained  the  soul  of  a,  hamadryad 
who  would  live  and  die  with  it. 

If  he  looked  from  his  portico  over  to 
Mount  Pentelicus  he  was  reminded  of 


DO   FLO  WE BS  HAVE  SOL'LSf          51 

the  beautiful  nymphs.  There  were  moun 
tain-nymphs,  who  sang  in  the  depths  of 
the  forests ;  dale-nymphs,  who  lived  in 
the  valley :  mead-nymphs,  who  found  a 
home  on  the  meadow-land ;  and  water- 
nymphs,  who  loved  the  streams  and 
springs.  When  Diana  pursued  the  deer 
they  attended  her  in  gay  huntress'  attire, 
and  on  grand  oeeasions  they  waited  on 
Juno  and  Venus. 

If  he  were  a  bachelor,  and  comely,  he 
could  give  rein  to  his  fancy  and  believe 
that  some  day,  while  wandering  by  the 
streamlet's  bank,  he  might  meet  one  of 
these  exquisite  creatures  and  bring  her 
home  as  his  wife.  "  Why  not  ? "  he  might 
ask  himself.  Did  not  Echo,  who  was 
punished  by  Juno  for  an  unpardonable 
bit  of  deception,  and  doomed  to  so  far 
lose  her  voice  that  she  could  only  repeat 
what  she  heard — did  she  not  become  en 
amoured  of  a  fine-looking  boy,  Narcissus  ? 
He  slighted  her  love,  but  our  Athenian 


52  JUtOWX  XTL'DIAS. 

bachelor  would  be  more  gallant.  And 
was  not  Eurydice,  also  a  nymph,  the 
happy  wife  of  a  loving1  husband  until 
death  snatched  her  from  his  embrace  ? 

Who  can  tell  what  effect  such  a  belief 
would  have  on  this  Athenian  ?  He  could 
never  feel  alone,  for  there  was  comrade 
ship  in  rocks  and  rills.  How  strange  to 
him  were  the  associations  connected  with 
a  pine-tree,  many  of  which  were  within 
a  stone's  throw;  and  how  pathetic  the 
stoiy  of  which  it  reminded  him !  Poor 
Cybele  was  endowed  with  beauty  and  wis 
dom,  and  when  her  glance  fell  on  Attis 
she  loved  him,  and  he,  dear  boy,  returned 
the  love  in  full  measure.  But  the  father 
put  the  rash  lover  to  death,  whereupon 
she  passed  her  days  in  solitude  under  a 
pine  into  which  she  thought  the  youth 
had  been  transformed.  With  each  recur 
ring  spring-  she  gathered  violets  because 
they  came  from  the  blood  of  the  slaugh 
tered  loved  one. 


DO   1-'U)\VEUS   HAVE   KOl'LSf  ~>\\ 

All  this  is  very  fanciful,  but  very  de 
lightful.  It  does  not  appeal  to  the  reason 
of  our  times,  but  we  can  hardly  escape 
its  charm. 

Perhaps  this  age  is  better  than  any 
that  the  earlier  world  ever  knew,  but  I 
should  like  to  superadd  to  our  wonder 
fully  practical  life  some  of  the  fervor  of 
imagination  which  this  Athenian  bachelor 
enjoyed. 

And  as  I  sat  on  that  grass-plot,  gazing 
at  the  smooth  waters  of  the  lake  in  front, 
at  the  woods  which  covered  every  hill 
with  verdure,  at  the  sky  overhead,  where 
clouds  were  chasing  one  another  like  boys 
let  out  from  school,  I  felt  that  something 
of  this  ancient  belief  would  give  me  com 
fort  and  a  more  tender  affection  for  the 
physical  world. 

Just  as  the  sun  reached  mid-heaven 
Sim  broke  in  on  my  reverie  with  the 
raucous  clangor  of  a  dinner-bell.  The 


54  BHOWX  STUDIES. 

bracing  air  had  given  me  an  appetite, 
and  all  thing's — poetry,  science,  religion 
— must  give  way  to  hunger.  Leo  was 
evidently  of  the  same  mind,  for  at  the 
first  sound  of  the  bell  he  was  on  his  feet 
and  looking  into  my  face  as  though  he 
would  say,  "  Good  sir,  your  brown  study 
has  doubtless  been  edifying  and  instruc 
tive,  but  a  call  to  dinner  should  never  lie 
ignored." 

"  Sim,"  I  said,  as  I  lighted  my  cigar  at 
the  end  of  the  repast,  "do  you  know 
these  woods  well  ? " 

"  Been  in  'em  ever  since  I  got  out  of 
my  cradle/'  was  the  short  reply. 

"Have  you" — I  found  some  difficult}7" 
in  framing  my  question — "  have  you  ever 
seen  anything  in  them  that  startled  you 
or  set  you  to  thinking  f " 

"Bears?"  he  asked,  as  he  stood  at  the 
window  and  looked  out  into  the  sunshine. 

"  No,"  I  said,  slowly, lt  not  wild  animals, 
but  —  " 


DO  FLO1VEKS  HAVE  SOULS f          55 

Sim  turned  round  and  looked  first  at 
Leo,  who  seemed  very  serious,  and  then 
at  me. 

"Ghosts?"  he  asked,  half  under  his 
breath. 

"  Yes." 

"  They're  there,''  he  answered. 

"  How  do  you  know  ? " 

<;  I've  seen  'em." 

'•Seen  them,  Sim?     You?" 

"  Well,  yes."  he  replied,  rather  doggedly. 

"Where,  pray  .' '' 

"Three  miles  from  here,  over  in  the 
chasm." 

'•Are  you  sure,  Sim  ?" 

"Dead  sure.  Couldn't  bo  surer  of 
nothiu'  on  top  of  the  earth,  sir." 

•'That  is  very  odd,  Sim." 

"So  I  thought  at  the  time,  sir,  and  so 
I've  thought  ever  since.  But  I'm  tellin' 
the  gospel  truth  for  certain." 

I  did  not.  ask  for  the  story  at  the  time, 
knowing  that  later  on  he  would  tell  it; 


56  ItliOWir  STUDIES. 

but  I  said  to  myself,  "  After  all,  human 
nature  is  the  same  everywhere.  The 
bachelor  of  Athens  saw  nymphs  and  dry 
ads,  or  thought  he  did,  and  Sim  has  seen 
ghosts,  or  thinks  he  has.  The  supernat 
ural  still  keeps  its  hold  on  us,  and  life 
would  not  be  worth  much  without  it.'' 

I  lay  down  on  the  lounge,  wondered 
wrhat  She  was  doing  on  that  orange  plan 
tation  in  Florida,  and  then  began  to  dream 
dreams. 


CHAPTER  III. 

LOGS    AND    LOVE. 

WHAT  is  more  exquisite  or  more  stimu 
lating  than  an  ideal  day  in  October,  when 
the  year  has  nearly  done  its  work  and  we 
catch  the  weary  ''autumn  nodding  o'er 
the  plain. "  ? 

As  I  sat  on  my  little  veranda  yester 
day  afternoon,  looking  on  the  gorgeous 
scenery  at  the  end  of  the  lake  and  on 
either  side  of  it,  I  think  my  heart  grew 
very  mellow  and  my  love  of  nature  deep 
ened.  The  smi  was  running  low  in  the 
heavens,  and  the  waters  seemed  like  mol 
ten  gold.  The  maples  on  the  hillsides 
were  all  ablaxe  with  color,  and  the  white 
birches,  with  their  brown  and  yellow  foli- 


58  mtOWX  STL'DJES. 

age  against  the  dark-green  background  of 
evergreens,  were  marvelously  beautiful. 
On  the  edge  of  the  woods  near  by  were 
groups  of  sumac-bushes,  their  leaves 
ranging  from  a  dazzling  carmine  to  a 
land  of  burnt  sienna.  The  mass  of  color 
was  overwhelming,  while  above  it  floated 
gray  clouds  through  the  blue  ether.  I 
was  so  impressed  by  the  spectacle  that, 
do  what  I  would,  the  tears  would  come ; 
and  when  I  said  to  myself,  "  They  tell 
ns  that  this  is  only  the  rude  portico  of  a 
House  so  much  more  beautiful  that  it 
could  not  have  been  made  with  hands,"  I 
felt  a  certain  ecstatic  longing  after  the 
other  life. 

Autumn  is  not  to  me  a  season  of  de 
pression.  I  would  not  call  these  ''the 
melancholy  days,  the  saddest  of  the 
year,"  as  Bryant  did.  On  the  contrary, 
they  incite  to  action  ;  they  stir  the  imagi 
nation  ;  they  furnish  you  with  unspeak 
able  beautv  in  which  to  revel. 


LOGS   .1X1)   LOVE.  59 

When  the  strong  man.  on  the  evening 
of  some  day  in  which  lie  has  done  grand 
and  noble  work,  slips  off  his  clothes  and 
lies  down  to  refreshing  sleep,  I  cannot 
lojk  on  his  rugged  face  with  any  painful 
emotions.  The  sleep  brings  renewal  of 
vigor.  He  will  wake  in  the  morning  with 
a  giant's  strength  and  go  on  with  his  task. 
Let  him  rest,  I  say,  and  while  he  rests 
I  nurse  my  pride  in  his  achievements. 

Nature  is  that  strong  man  to  me.  The 
year  is  his  day.  When  the  frosts  come 
he  feels  the  need  of  slumber ;  and  when 
he  lies  down  for  a  while  to  lose  himself 
in  happy  dreams,  the  good  God,  whose 
servant  lie  is,  drops  on  his  prostrate  form 
a  coverlid  of  snow  and  gives  him  the  hills 
for  a,  pillo\v.  The  winds  sing  his  lullaby, 
as  a  mother  sings  to  her  child  until  its 
little  lids  droop. 

These  variegated  forests  are  only  the 
shavings  of  many-colored  woods  piled 
hard  by  his  work-bench,  and  in  the  morn- 


00  HSOll'X  STUDIED. 

ing,  when  the  spring  comes,  he  will  sweep 
them  all  away  and  go  on  with  the  wonder 
ful  work  in  which  he  is  engaged. 

No,  there  is  only  gladness  in  the  au- 
tnniu.  Nothing  dies — it  only  gathers 
strength  with  which  to  create  more  beau 
tiful  effects. 

The  Klionds  believed  that  when  their 
priests  remained  in  an  unconscious  con 
dition  for  several  days,  as  was  frequently 
the  case,  it  was  because  their  souls  had 
departed  from  their  bodies  and  gone  on  a 
journey  to  the  divine  presence  to  have 
certain  vexed  questions  answered  which 
they  themselves  could  not  solve. 

So  I  like  to  think  that  nature,  on 
stated  occasions,  or  with  every  recurring 
autumn,  pays  a  visit  to  the  heavenly  re 
gions  to  receive  advice  and  instruction, 
and  comes  back  in  the  spring  with  such 
a  radiant  smile  that  flowers  blossom  in 
his  path  and  the  trees  send  forth  new 
leaves.  This  is  a  mere  fancv,  vou  snv 


LOUX   AM)   LOVE.  <>1 

1)1  it.  what  gives  us  more  pleasure  than  a 
roving-  imagination '?  Let  it  be  a  fancy, 
if  you  will  have  it  so;  but  let  me  assure 
you  that  it  gives  me  good  cheer,  and  that 
is  more  than  much  of  your  cold  science 
can  boast. 

When  the  twilight  crept  over  the  land 
scape  yesterday,  and  Venus  lighted  her 
fires  in  the  west,  it  was  too  chilly  to  sit 
out  of  doors,  for  a  nipping  and  an  eager 
air  came  across  the  lake.  As  I  opened 
the  door  of  my  living-room,  my  eyes  fell 
on  that  magnificent  fireplace. 

'•John  !  "  I  cried. 

"Tie  is  behind  the  camp  cleaning  his 
gun,"  answered  Sim. 

"  Tell  him  I  want  him,  please.'' 

'•John,"  T  said,  when  he  appeared,  ''it 
is  chilly." 

"Yes ;  the  wind  cuts  like  a  piece  of  broken 
glass :  mostly  does  at  this  time  of  year/' 

'•  ])o  you  suppose  there  is  wood  enough 
out  there  to  last  us  all  winter  ? " 


62  BROWN  STUDIES. 

"About  fifty  cord,  sir.  Guess  you'll 
have  to  keep  a  fire  goin'  all  day  and  all 
night  to  get  through  with  it." 

"  Is  there  a  good  draft  to  this  chimney, 
John  ? " 

"Draft?  Why,  when  there's  any  air 
stirrin'  it'll  draw  the  shoes  right  off  your 
feet.  That  chimney  was  biiilt  for  busi 
ness,  sir.  If  you  like  I'll  fetch  an  armful 
of  wood  and  show  you  Avhat  it  can  do." 

In  less  than  five  minutes  he  returned 
with  a  splendid  old  backlog  of  hickory 
about  fifteen  inches  in  diameter,  and  Sim 
followed  with  his  arms  full  of  dry  pitch- 
pine. 

John  believed  in  kneeling  when  he 
made  a  fire.  First  he  put  the  backlog  in 
place,  then  he  piled  the  pine  loosely  in 
front  of  it,  to  give  the  flames  a  good 
chance  to  get  at  every  stick.  lie  eyed  his 
structure  as  critically  as  an  architect  looks 
at  the  plan  of  a  building,  and  chuckled 
his  approval.  His  "  Hm  !  Wall !  "  indi- 


LOGS  Ayn   LOVE.  63 

cated  a  degree  of  self-praise  in  which  lie 
seldom  indulged,  for  he  was  one  of  those 
fellows  who  say  they  cannot  do  a  thing  and 
then  do  it  in  the  most  skilful  fashion. 

'•Where's  your  kindling?"  I  asked. 
"  The  evening  papers  haven't  come  yet, 
so  \ve  shall  have  to  find  a  substitute.'' 

'•Don't  want  no  newspaper  for  this 
kind  of  business.  Here,  Sim,  hand  me 
that  piece  of  soap-box." 

With  his  jack-knife,  which  was  a  for 
midable-looking  weapon,  he  whittled 
away  until  he  had  a  double  handful  of 
fine  stuff,  which  he  carefully  disposed  of 
under  the  logs,  and  then  lighted  a  match. 

Ah.  what  a  fire  that  was !  At  first,  to 
be  sure,  I  thought  I  was  doomed  to  dis 
appointment,  and  suggested  my  doubts 
to  John  ;  but  he  received  my  opinion  with 
infinite  contempt,  saying: 

••  There  isn't  many  things  I  can  do,  sir, 
but  one  thing  I  can  do" — with  tremen 
dous  emphasis  on  the  "can" — "and  that 


G4  HR'OWX  STUDIES. 

is  to  build  a  fire  that  won't  go  out.  In 
less  than  a  jiffy,  sir,  you'll  have  a  perfect 
conflagration." 

With  that  the  two  left  me. 

I  drew  my  chair  up  and  watched  the 
flames,  which  seemed  to  enjoy  the  work 
they  were  doing.  In  less  time  than  it 
has  taken  me  to  describe  what  occurred, 
I  was  forced  to  move  back,  and  there  was 
such  a  crackling-  and  roaring  that  I  was 
almost  startled. 

The  room  was  as  light  as  day,  and  the 
sparks  flew  out  in  gleeful  showers.  They 
actually  tumbled  over  one  another,  a  jolly 
crowd,  as  they  sped  up  the  chimney.  I 
could  hear  nothing  else,  save  the  muffled 
voices  of  the  guides  in  the  kitchen  and 
the  regular  breathing  of  Leo,  who  lay 
with  his  head  on  his  paws,  fast  asleep. 
A  sense  of  perfect  satisfaction  crept  over 
me  as  I  gazed  at  the  flames,  and  I  felt 
that  even  in  Nirvana  there  is  no  more 


LOUX   JJS7>   LOVE.  05 

reposeful  happiness  than  had  fallen  to 
my  lot.     And  so  I  fell  to  musing. 

"Well/'  I  thought,  "it  takes  hut  little 
to  make  a  man  happy,  after  all,  if  he  only 
thinks  so. 

"  Happiness  depends  very  little  on  our 
surroundings,  and  very  much  on  ourselves. 

"  I  have  a  good  fire,  a  rain-proof  hut, 
a  few  books,  my  gun,  my  rod,  my  dog — 
what  more  do  I  want? 

"If—" 

Tl i at  word  made  me  sta  gger.  It  brought 
back  strange  memories,  and  although  the 
flames  had  reddened  my  cheeks  I  think 
they  grew  pale. 

"If—" 

I  recalled  that  evening  under  the  star 
light  when  She  and  I  were  together.  We 
were  by  the  sea-shore,  listening  to  the 
waves  as  they  sang  along  the  beach.  I 
hardly  know  how  it  came  about,  but  I 


CO  BROWN  STUDIES. 

told  Her  all.  She  listened  without  a  word, 
though  I  felt  her  arm  tremble  as  it  lay 
on  mine.  That  gave  me  corn-age,  and  the 
story  of  my  love  fell  from  my  lips  with 
a  kind  of  delicious  anguish.  For  months 
I  had  gazed  at  Her  from  afar,  but  dared 
not  hope  to  possess  the  Kohiiioor. 

I  fell  asleep  at  night  with  Her  voice  in 
my  ears,  and  when  I  waked  in  the  morn 
ing  my  first  thought  was  of  Her.  I  was 
the  willing  and  proud  slave  of  a  new 
emotion.  I  lived  in  the  most  exquisite 
misery,  and  would  not  have  parted  with 
it  for  an  African  diamond-mine. 

There  is  no  such  blissful  agony  as  that 
which  love  bestows.  My  soul  had  been 
tortured  by  doubts  and  fears ;  it  soared 
to  ecstasy  and  fell  to  despair;  it  spent 
this  hour  in  heaven  and  that  hour  in 
hell:  it  was  racked  and  torn  by  imagi 
nary  slights.  But  on  that  starlit  night, 
when  only  the  waves  could  hear  what 
was  said,  and  when  with  a  wild  impulse 


LOGS   ASD   LOVE.  07 

I  took  Her  to  my  heart  with  a  burning 
kiss,  I  knew  that  my  previous  sorrows 
only  increased  my  present  happiness,  and 
was  a  thousand  times  grateful  for  every 
wretched  moment  I  had  passed. 

And  so,  as  I  sat  by  my  wood-fire,  I 
could  not  cheek  the  thought  that  if  She 
were  only  at  my  side — 

But  alas ! 

By  this  time — for  two  hours  had  hur 
ried  by — the  flames  were  low.  There  Avere 
only  a  few  charred  and  blackened  bits  of 
wood  left,  and  these  burned  sluggishly  and 
fitfully,  as  though  they  had  finished  their 
task  and  were  tired. 

John  knocked  at  the  door  and  entered. 

'•Your  fire  is  nearly  out,"  I  said,  in 
half -remorseful  tones,  as  though  it  was 
by  some  fault  of  his. 

•'  'Twas  dry  pine,"  he  responded. 

•^Vell,"  I  queried,  '-what  of  it?'' 

"Xothin',  sir,  except  that  it's  always  so 


68  JiliOn'X  STUDIES. 

with  pine.  It  catches  quick,  it  blazes  up 
quick,  it's  awful  hot  while  it  lasts,  but  it 
goes  out  quick  and  leaves  you  in  the 
lurch.  Shall  I  bring  in  another  armful  f " 

"No,  John,  I'm  going  to  bed.  Good 
night," 

But  I  sat  an  hour  longer  gazing  at  the 
flickering  embers.  "  Quick  to  come,  hot 
while  it  lasts,  and  quick  to  go" — I  re 
peated  the  words  again  and  again,  for 
they  seemed  to  have  a  subtle  meaning 
that  I  could  not. at  first  fathom. 

They  rang  in  my  ears  like  a  village 
church -bell  tolling  for  a  funeral. 

"  It  is  the  pine- wood  love,"  I  said  to 
myself,  "that  makes  half  the  misery  in 
this  world." 

"It  catches  quick,"  said  John;  and  my 
memory  grew  very  busy  with  the  past  of 
the  men  and  women  whom  I  have  known. 

There  were  Jack  and  Teeny.  lie  had  a 
high  tenor  voice,  but  nothing  else.  It  was 
his  sole  possession,  unless  I  except  certain 


LOGS  AND   LOVE.  69 

liad  lial (its  which  young  men  easily  ac 
quire.  Teeny  had  a  small  foot  and  a 
large  imagination.  She  thought  she  was 
in  love  with  the  whole  of  Jack,  but  the 
dire  reality  was,  she  loved  his  vocal 
chords  and  took  her  chances  Avith  the 
rest, 

I  do  not  believe  she  ever  thought  of 
marriage  in  a  serious  way,  and  if  Jack 
had  been  without  a  voice  she  would 
scarcely  have  endured  his  presence  for 
an  evening.  But  she  was  fond  of  music, 
and  fancied  that  she  would  live  in  a  pal 
ace,  with  Jack  to  sing  to  her  all  day. 

Teeny  was  a  lovable  sort  of  creature, 
but  she  had  very  little  common  sense. 
It  was  impossible  for  her  to  reason  about 
anything,  for  her  impulses  and  her  ca 
prices  were  all  there  was  of  her. 

And  John  said  also,  "It  blazes  up 
quick.''  Yes,  it  was  that  way  with  Teeny. 
"When  Jack  sang,  one  night — it  was  the 
first  time  she  had  heard  him — I  noticed 


TO  mtojrx  STUDIES. 

that  lier  eyes  were  full  of  tears.  Those 
rich  tones  had  led  her  captive,  and  when 
Jack  asked  permission  to  escort  her  home 
she  was  in  an  ecstasy  of  delight.  It  was 
only  three  weeks  later  that  I  heard  they 
were  engaged. 

Of  course  there  is  such  a  thing  as  love 
at  first  sight.  I  am  the  last  man  in  the 
world  to  deny  it.  One  feels  a  thrill  at 
the  touch  of  a  certain  hand  which  no 
other  hand  in  the  world  can  cause.  I 
cannot  fathom  the  mystery,  and  do  not 
care  to  try ;  but  I  am  sure  that  two  souls 
may  be  unconsciously  hunting  for  each 
other  through  the  wilderness  of  society 
for  years,  and  then  when  they  come  to 
a  hand-clasp,  and  look  into  each  other's 
eyes,  they  are  both  sure  that  the  end  of 
their  quest  lias  been  reached. 

But  there  is  a  good  deal  of  what  passes 
for  love  at  first  sight  that  is  sheer  folly, 
and  it  is  a  very  dangerous  thing  to  go 
on  the  theory  that  when  the  right  one 


LOGS   AND   LOVE.  71 

appears  you  will  know  it  at  once.  A 
great  many  fatal  mistakes  have  been 
made  in  this  direction,  and  a  marriage  of 
impulse  is  likely  to  be  followed  by  a  life 
of  sorrow. 

Teeny  was  sentimental  and  full  of 
enthusiasm.  What  she  adored  yesterday 
she  adored  with  all  her  soul,  and  could 
see  nothing-  else.  But  this  morning-  she 
waked  up  in  a  different  mood,  and  yester 
day's  gods  were  displaced  to  make  way 
for  new  ones. 

So  her  days  and  weeks  passed,  amid 
innumerable  loves  at  first  sight ;  but  she 
would  have  been  seriously  offended  if 
you  had  told  her  so. 

When  Jack  appeared  she  was  a  mere 
chip  in  a  mill-race.  If  she  had  waited 
three  months  instead  of  three  weeks — 
that  is,  waited  until  the  glamour  had 
worn  off  and  she  had  caught  a  glimpse 
of  the  rollicking,  irresponsible  fellow,  with 
a  conceit  that  was  unendurable,  and  a 


72  nUOU'X  XTl'DIES. 

degree  of  selfishness  that  was  at  times 
cruel — she  would  have  married  Blue 
beard  rather  than  him. 

But  as  she  had  a  fortune  in  her  own 
right,  while  Jack  had  almost  nothing,  he 
kept  himself  in  courteous  trim,  was  as 
devoted  as  a  slave,  praised  her  beauty, 
flattered  her  vanity,  and  kept  her  in  a 
whirl  and  delirium  of  bliss — until  they 
were  married.  She  was  all  aflame  with 
what  she  thought  was  love,  never  once 
looked  at  the  character  of  the  man.  but 
heard  only  that  high  tenor  voice  which 
carried  her  into  the  seventh  heaven. 

John  had  added,  "It  goes  out  quick." 
Two  years  later  I  saw  Teeny,  and  hardly 
recognized  her.  There  were  lines  on  her 
face  which  it  pained  me  to  see,  and  I 
knew  that  they  were  wrought  by  a  sad 
experience.  Two  years  are  a  long  time 
when  one  suffers ;  when  a  wife  wakes  up 
to  the  fact  that  she  and  the  wrong  man 
are  traveling  life's  road  together;  that 


LOGS  AND   LOVE.  73 

she  has  made  a  mistake  from  which  re 
covery  is  impossible  ;  that  the  romance  of 
life  is  gone,  and  nothing  is  left  in  its 
stead. 

When  my  brown  study  had  ended  I 
went  to  the  window  to  look  oiit  into  the 
clear  night  and  get  my  thoughts  back  to 
the  world  of  beauty  that  lay  all  around 
me.  The  window,  however,  gave  me  only 
a  glimpse,  and  I  wanted  more.  So  I 
opened  the  door  and  stepped  into  (he 
open  air  quietly,  because  I  did  not  care 
to  Avaken  Leo  ;  but  the  dear  fellow  heard 
my  footsteps  and  was  instantly  at  my 
side. 

It  was  a  cloudless  night,  and  the  bine 
of  the  sky  was  simply  indescribable.  It 
was  like  a  sapphire  in  color,  made  bril 
liant  by  myriads  on  myriads  of  stars. 
Awestruck,  reverent,  even  prayerful,  I 
looked  and  then  I  sighed.  I  had  no  lan 
guage  to  express  my  feelings,  but  seemed 


74  BROWN  STUDIES. 

to  be  filled,  permeated,  by  the  vision  of 
glory,  which  made  every  nerve  tingle 
with  delight. 

A  few  long  breaths  of  the  fresh  night 
air  that  swept  over  the  lake,  and  my  day 
was  over.  I  returned  to  my  room,  and 
with  a  hearty  "  Good-by,  old  world/'  fell 
asleep. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

FAMILIES    IN   BOXES. 

I  HAVE  lived  hero  a  little  over  a  month 
now,  and  feel  as  though  I  had  been  rein 
carnated.  I  am  not  the  same  man  that  I 
was  in  New  York.  I  lived  so  long  among 
all  sorts  of  creatures  there  that  I  found 
myself  growing  cynical ;  but  since  I  have 
slept  in  the  woods,  where  everything  is 
honest,  loyal  to  its  destiny,  and  true  to 
the  high  purpose  for  which  it  was  created, 
I  notice  that  the  simplicity  and  trustful 
ness  and  buoyancy  of  my  boyhood  are 
coming  back.  I  wake  up  in  the  morning 
very  light-hearted,  leap  out  of  bed  with 
the  elasticity  of  a  watch-spring,  take  a 
sponge-bath  with  water  clear  as  crystal 


70  miOWN  STUDIES. 

and  cold  as  frost,  and  though  I  shiver  at 
first  the  reaction  soon  sets  in  and  I  actu 
ally  scream  with  delight.  I  tingle  and 
burn,  and  my  blood  goes  racing  through 
my  veins  with  something  of  ecstatic  fury. 

I  have  fresh  air  all  night  as  well  as 
all  day,  for  there  are  innumerable  cracks 
and  crevices  in  the  Avails  of  my  hut ;  but 
still  I  like  to  take  a  ten-minute  tramp  in 
the  open  by  the  side  of  the  lake  lief  ore 
breakfast,  for  the  sake  of  doing  the  new 
day  the  courtesy  of  saying  u  Good  luck  to 
you."  The  sun  is  generally  just  above  the 
spur  to  the  eastward  when  I  hear  Sim's 
voice  calling  me,  and  I  like  to  doff  my 
hat  to  him  and  wish  him  a  pleasant  jour 
ney  up  the  heavenly  hill  to  the  zenith 
and  down  the  other  side  to  the  horizon. 

We  are  on  good  terms,  the  sun  and  I, 
and  during  the  livelong  day  his  rays 
come  through  my  windows  and  make 
fantastic  figures  on  the  floor.  When  I 
see  them  there  I  think  of  the  terrific;  pace 


FAMILIES   IN  BOXES.  77 

at  which  they  have  traveled,  covering  the 
ninety  million  miles  between  their  birth 
place  and  my  camp  in  about  ten  minutes, 
and  wonder  if  they  have  grown  weary 
on  the  journey.  I  have  often  wished  I 
could  catch  a  stray  beam  or  two  and  bid 
them  tell  me  the  latest  news  from  that 
wondrous  conflagration  far  away,  whose 
heat  kisses  the  earth  into  blushing  buds 
and  blossoms,  and  fills  the  fields  and  for 
ests  with  a  thousand  kinds  of  animal  and 
vegetable  life.  But  they  evade  my  grasp 
and  tell  me  nothing,  silently  straying 
over  the  floor  and  walls  as  though  curi 
ous  to  know  what  floor  and  walls  and 
camp  are  for,  and  why  Leo  and  I  are 
here. 

"John,"  I  said,  soon  after  dusk,  "  what 
have  you  been  doing  to-day?" 

'•  Xothin'  partic'lar,  sir,"  he  replied,  with 
a  drawl,  for  he  likes  to  be  mysterious. 
It  is  an  instinct  with  the  true  hunter  to 


78  BROWN  /STUDIES. 

say  little  about  his  luck  unless  it  be 
drawn  ont  under  tlie  pressure  of  cross- 
examination,  and  John  is  a  hunter  of  the 
old-fashioned  type.  So  he  said  "  Nothin' 
partic'lar,  sir/'  but  in  his  heart  I  knew  he 
wanted  me  to  inquire  further. 

"  What  do  you  call  nothing  particular, 
John — a  couple  of  partridges  or  a  brace 
of  rabbits  f " 

Sim  smiled,  but  John  was  evidently 
offended  at  my  suggestion. 

"  I've  been  out  since  sun-up/'  he  replied, 
evasively  and  sententiously. 

"And  you  have  a  good  eye  and  a  fine 
gun,"  I  suggested. 

"  As  for  the  gun,  it  sends  a  bullet  where 
I  tell  it  to,  and  as  for  the  eye,  it  mostly 
sees  somethin'  if  there's  somethiii  in  sight. 
But  ten  hours  on  a  stretch  and  a  brace 
of  rabbits — wall,  I  shouldn't  feel  like 
comin'  home  to  supper." 

"  He's  got  a  big  buck  out  in  the  wood 
shed,"  chimed  in  Sim. 


FAMILIES  IX  BOXES.  79 

•'  So,  so  !  "  I  cried,  in  surprise.  "  That 
is  doing-  well.  The  first  venison  of  the 
season,  John.  We  shall  have  roasts  and 
ragouts  and  steaks  and  soups,  and  live 
like  lords — better  than  lords,  in  fact,  for 
they  seldom  have  appetites  like  ours." 

The  buck  was  a  beauty.  John,  it  seems, 
had  wandered  round  nearly  all  day  with 
out  catching*  a  glimpse  of  anything,  and 
had  about  given  up  when  he  spied  this 
fellow  a  hundred  yards  off  to  the  leeward. 
Then  came  a  rifle-crack,  and  the  graceful 
brute  fell  in  his  tracks. 

When  I  had  sufficiently  praised  John 
for  his  skill,  and  properly  admired  his 
achievement.  I  said  : 

'•Now,  then,  I'm  in  just  the  mood  for 
a  blaze  on  the  hearth;  but  none  of  your 
pine,  if  you  please,  John." 

•'Hickory  ?''  he  suggested. 

•'Have  you  any  ?'' 

"  Xot  very  much,  for  it  don't  grow  to 
anv  consid'ble  extent  round  here;  but  I 


80  nitOU'X  STUDIES. 

can  pick  out  enough  to  satisfy  you,  I 
guess.1' 

It  was  a  good  fifteen  minutes  before 
that  wood  began  to  burn  in  dead  earnest, 
but  there  was  a  kind  of  solemn  dignity 
about  it  that  pleased  me.  The  dry  pine 
of  the  other  evening  had  blazed  up  in  a 
rollieking  sort  of  way,  and  the  flames 
were  wild,  hilarious,  frolicsome,  and  irre 
sponsible;  but  this  hickory  fire  was  a 
very  different  thing — it  was  calm,  serene, 
reposeful. 

"  I  shall  sit  np  late,"  I  said. 

"The  fire  will  keep  you  company  as 
long  as  you  please,  sir,  and  then  light  up 
the  room  a  couple  of  hours  after  you  are 
asleep.  I  kinder  like  oak,  because  you 
can  depend  011  it.  We  used  to  have  it  to 
home  when  I  was  a  youngster." 

"Home!"  said  John,  and  I  thought 
there  was  just  a  tinge  of  sadness  in  his 
voice.  He  stood  gazing  at  the  bright 
flames,  apparently  unconscious  of  my 


FAMILIES  IX  BOXES.  81 

presence,  and  memory  seemed  busy  with 
the  past. 

"Your  father?''  I  ventured  to  ask. 

"  Dead." 

"And  the  mother?" 

"  Dead." 

"  Sisters  or  brothers  ? " 

''Never  had  none.  The  home  was 
broken  up,  and — and  here  I  am." 

With  that  he  went  to  finish  the  chores 
for  the  night. 

';  Home !  "  I  said  to  my  heart,  as  I 
stroked  Leo's  head.  And  I  repeated  the 
word  again  and  again. 

What  a  curious  device  for  the  propa 
gation  of  the  race  and  for  our  happiness 
while  on  the  earth  the  home  is ! 

Let  me  think  a  moment.  I  can  recall 
that  old  Greek  parable  of  the  origin  of 
man  and  woman.  I  read  it  years  ago  in 
Plato,  in  the  chapter  entitled  "  The  Ban 
quet,"  and  it  made  so  strong  an  impres- 


82  BROWX  STUDIES. 

sion  on  my  miud  that  I  have  never  for 
gotten  it. 

It  is  Aristophanes,  if  I  remember  aright, 
who  relates  it,  though  about  this,  and 
also  about  other  details,  I  may  possibly 
get  somewhat  astray,  and,  being  in  the 
woods,  must  depend  on  my  memory. 
The  story  runs  in  this  way  : 

When  man  was  created  by  Zens,  who 
perhaps  wanted  worshipers,  that  his  van 
ity  might  be  gratified,  he  gave  him  the 
shape  of  a  ball.  He  had  two  heads,  four 
hands,  four  legs,  and  four  ears.  He  must 
have  been  an  uncanny-looking  creature, 
and  the  people  on  Olympus  undoubtedly 
regarded  him  as  a  curiosity.  Whether 
they  thought  him  a  successful  experiment 
is  not  kuoAvn,  but  we  may  imagine  how 
they  nudged  one  another  and  shrugged 
their  shoulders  as  this  thing  went  along 
over  the  ground  like  a  six-foot  sphere. 

It  seems  that  these  men  were  very  for 
midable  adversaries  even  of  the  gods,  for 


FAMILIES  AY  BOXES.  83 

they  had  high  ambitions  and  not  over 
much  moral  principle.  They  gave  Zeus 
a  good  deal  of  trouble  one  way  and  an 
other,  and  more  than  once  he  half  re 
pented  having  undertaken  the  task.  How 
ever,  the  tiling  was  done  and  under  the 
circumstances  there  was  nothing  left  but 
to  make  the  best  of  it. 

When,  later  on,  these  men  attempted 
to  scale  the  heavens  and  rob  the  gods  of 
their  authority  as  wrell  as  their  posses 
sions,  a  council  was  held  to  debate  the 
serious  question  what  should  be  done. 
The  inferior  members  of  the  council 
were  rather  inclined  to  favor  total  de 
struction  of  the  whole  race;  but  Zeus 
thought  he  could  compass  the  difficulty 
without  resorting  to  such  heroic  mea 
sures.  He  reasoned  that  he  had  endowed 
them  with  too  much  strength,  and  if  lie 
could  reduce  the  strength  he  would  lessen 
the  danger.  So  he  caused  all  these  round 
balls  to  be  cut  in  two,  each  having  one 


84  liJiOll'X  STUDIES. 

head,  a  pair  of  arms,  and  a  pair  of  legs. 
The  problem  was  solved,  and  we  hear 
no  more  of  any  attempt  to  capture  the 
celestial  palaces. 

But  this  peculiar  condition  of  thing's 
ensued  :  when  this  creature  was  a  double, 
with  all  the  peculiarities  of  male  and 
female  combined,  he  was  satisfied  with 
himself;  but  from  the  moment  when  he 
was  halved  the  male  and  female  portions 
were  alike  discontented.  They  could  not 
remain  by  themselves,  but  sought  each 
other  out  and  were  happy  only  when  each 
had  found  his  or  her  counterpart.  Ever 
since  that  time  the  man  has  only  been  at 
his  best  when  he  has  found  the  other 
half  of  himself,  and  the  woman  has  led  a 
melancholy  sort  of  life  until  she  has  fallen 
into  the  arms  of  the  man  from  whom  she 
was  separated  by  the  sharp  knife  of  Zeus. 

So  love  was  born  of  a  sense  of  loneli 
ness,  a  consciousness  that  somewhere,  in 
some  nook  or  corner  of  the  earth,  there 


FAMILIES  IX  BOXES.  8f> 

is  the  other  half  of  one's  soul  ;  and  when 
these  two  halves  come  together  they  see 
the  heavens  open  and  the  sunlight  stream 
ing  on  their  pathway. 

Then  the  home  is  Imilt !  Led  by  mys 
terious  influences,  the  man  and  woman 
look  into  each  other's  eyes  as  they  have 
7iever  looked  into  eyes  before,  and  the 
hand-clasp  sends  a  thrill  to  two  hearts 
which  is  unlike  anything  previously  ex 
perienced.  Each  leaves  behind  a  little, 
lonely  world,  and  together  they  enter  a 
larger  world  made  radiant  by  love. 

But  if  the  early  years  of  married  life 
arc  the  most  ecstatic  period  of  our 
earthly  career,  they  are  also  the  most 
critical,  and  by  no  means  unattended  with 
danger.  The  first  twenty-four  months 
after  the  mutual  vows  have  been  made 
are  so  filled  with  possibilities,  good  and 
bad,  that  I  think  the  good  folks  lip 
above  must  follow  with  tender  solicitude 


86  JiliOWX  STUDIES. 

every  couple  that  leaves  the  altar  side  by 
side. 

During  the  time  extending  over  the  first 
summer  or  winter  the  husband  and  wife 
see  each  other  in  an  entirely  new  light. 
Some  things  must  be  a  delight,  other 
things  a  disappointment,  and  all  tilings  a 
revelation.  The  close  relations  which  are 
adopted  bring  to  the  surface  a  great 
many  unexpected  tendencies  and  traits 
of  character,  and  it  takes  a  long  while 
for  the  man  and  the  woman  to  become 
accustomed  to  each  other.  If  they  suc 
ceed  in  doing  this,  the  future  is  secure ; 
if  they  fail  to  do  this,  they  must  needs 
grow  apart,  in  which  case  the  tragedy 
begins,  to  end  God  knows  when  and 
where. 

It  has  often  occurred  to  me  that  dur 
ing  an  acquaintanceship,  and  perhaps 
still  more  during  an  engagement,  the 
man  sees  the  woman  on  her  best  behavior 
— not  as  her  brothers  and  sisters  see  her. 


FAMILIES  IN  BOXES.  87 

She  is  under  a  restraint — the  kind  of  re 
straint  which  the  desire  to  please  always 
enforces.  She  is  not  her  true  self — that 
is,  she  is  not  her  whole  self — while  his 
eyes  are  upon  her.  The  better  qualities 
are  on  the  surface,  and  her  other  qualities 
are  kept  in  the  background.  The  man 
may  think  he  knows  her  thoroughly,  but 
ninety  days  of  married  life  will  show  him 
the  dark  side  of  the  moon,  if  there  is  a 
dark  side,  for  then  the  motive  for  con 
cealment  is  gone.  If  she  is  in  ill  temper 
she  shows  it,  or  if  she  is  petulant  she 
scolds ;  and  all  her  other  peculiarities  and 
weaknesses  are  exhibited. 

And  the  woman  sees  the  man  under 
the  same  searching  light.  While  he  was 
paying  court  to  her  he  was  particular  in 
his  dress,  and  his  language  was  well 
chosen ;  for  he  wanted  her  for  his  own, 
and  could  not  endanger  his  chances  of 
possession  by  any  ebullition  that  would 
prove  offensive.  He  was  diplomatic,  be- 


88  BHOWX  STUDIES. 

cause  he  had  not  won  the  prize.  A  single 
rudeness  might  have  been  the  turning- 
point,  and  so  he  held  himself  carefully  in 
check.  She  never  heard  him  in  an  alter 
cation,  never  saw  him  when  he  was  out  of 
sorts  and  swore  at  the  servants  or  kicked 
the  dog,  and  was  wholly  ignorant  of  the 
traits  he  showed  when  in  the  familiar 
company  of  other  men  or  in  business  re 
lations  with  them. 

After  marriage,  however,  every  restraint 
is  loosened,  and  he  does  what  he  pleases 
and  gives  free  vent  to  his  feelings.  The 
two  are  bound  together.  She  cannot  get 
away  from  him,  must  make  the  best  or 
the  worst  of  him,  and  so  he  gradually 
throws  aside  the  courtesies  of  other  days 
— the  very  things  which,  perhaps,  made 
him  attractive  to  her — and  displays  pe 
culiarities  which,  if  she  had  seen  them 
long  ago,  would  have  quickly  decided  her 
against  accepting  his  attentions. 

To  a  very  unpleasant  extent,  therefore, 


FAMILIES  IN  BOXES.  89 

a  man  and  woman  are  strangers  when  they 
start  on  their  wedding-trip.  After  they 
find  each  other  out  they  will  either  make 
mutual  concessions — that  is,  come  close 
together  at  all  points  where  it  is  possible 
to  do  so,  and  as  nearly  together  as  they 
can  at  all  other  points — or  there  will 
come  heart-burnings  and  mayhap  heart 
breaking. 

The  hopeful  fact  is  that  in  the  average 
man  there  is  enough  of  good  to  satisfy 
the  demands  of  the  average  woman,  and 
in  the  average  woman  enough  for  the 
average  man  to  build  his  life's  happiness 
upon. 

But  if  there  is  selfishness  instead  of 
concession,  and  wilfulness  instead  of  lov 
ing-kindness,  it  does  not  need  the  lips  of 
a  prophet  to  forecast  disaster. 

The;  best  thing  for  a  couple  of  sensible 
persons  to  do  who  have  been  married  a 
year,  and  have  come  to  know  each  other's 
weak  and  strong  sides,  is  to  talk  plainly 


90  JiJIOH'y  STUDIES. 

and  lay  down  some  plan  of  action  which 
will  produce  the  least  friction  in  the  long 
run. 

But  women  are  sensitive  and  apt  to 
endure  a  slight  in  silence.  Sometimes 
men  are  sensitive  also,  and,  although  they 
are  proud  of  their  wives'  beauty,  they 
suffer  untold  and  unfathomable  agonies 
when  even  a  slightly  flirtatious  tendency 
is  exhibited. 

Silence  under  such  circumstances  is 
the  worst  policy.  Nine  times  out  of  ten 
the  man  did  not  intend  the  slight  which 
gave  pain,  and  would  be  only  too  glad  to 
be  told  of  his  bad  habits  of  utterance ; 
and  nine  times  out  of  ten  the  woman 
means  nothing  by  her  acceptance  of  the 
flatteries  of  other  men,  and  will  see  the 
matter  in  its  true  light  if  it  is  brought  to 
her  notice  in  the  right  way. 

If  this  is  not  done,  and  the  man  be 
comes  dogged  and  arbitrary,  while  the 
woman  continues  her  flirtations  because 


FAMILIES  IX  BOXES.  91 

they  afford  her  the  kind  of  excitement 
she  likes,  then  we  cannot  say  that  the 
home  will  sometime  be  broken  up,  for  it 
is  practically  broken  up  already.  Love 
withers ;  mutual  confidence  dwindles  and 
soon  becomes  suspicion.  When  confi 
dence  is  absent,  and  jealousy  takes  its 
place,  it  would  be  best  it'  the  woman 
could  be  sent  to  the  north  pole  and  the 
man  to  the  south  pole,  for  they  only  irri 
tate  each  other  and  grow  more  miserable 
every  day. 

It  does  not  follow  that  I  have  no  right 
to  make  these  criticisms  or  to  give  this 
advice  because  I  am  a  bachelor.  On  the 
contrary,  there  are  no  better  judges  of 
human  nature  than  such  men  as  I.  They 
have  nothing  to  do  in  society  except  to 
look  on ;  and,  in  fact,  they  see  so  many 
things  of  the  kind  I  have  referred  to  that 
in  many  instances  you  can  find  therein 
the  reason  why  they  prefer  to  remain 


92  BROWX  STUDIES. 

single.  A  bachelor's  eyes  and  ears  and 
intuitions  are  not  good  for  much  if  lie 
cannot  tell  which  way  the  wind  blows  in 
most  families  by  the  straws  he  sees. 

Well,  let  me  continue.  When  two  peo 
ple  determine  to  live  together  they  look 
about  for  some  place  which  suits  their 
fancy.  If  they  are  to  live  in  the  country 
they  find  what  is  called  a  house — that  is, 
a  larger  or  smaller  box,  four  walls  and  a 
roof,  with  apertures  through  which  they 
can  go  in  and  out,  and  other  apertures 
through  which  they  can  look.  These  little 
boxes,  painted  a  variety  of  colors,  are  to 
be  found  in  every  valley  and  on  every 
road  and  hill  side. 

The  interior  of  this  box  is  subdivided, 
and  we  have  one  room  to  sleep  in,  an 
other  to  eat  in,  another  to  cook  in,  and 
still  another  to  receive  our  guests  in. 

The  whole  thing  is  a  curious  contri 
vance,  and  I  wonder  what  some  inhabitant 


FAMILIES  IN  JWXES.  93 

of  Sirius — tliey  say  the  people  up  there 
are  several  miles  tall  and  live  thousands 
of  years — would  think  if  he  should  come 
down  to  the  earth  and  examine  with  his 
microscope  one  of  these  boxes  and  the 
couple  who  occupy  it.  I  have  no  doubt 
he  would  regard  it  as  a  very  queer  affair, 
just  as  we  do  the  hill  of  ants  or  the  hive 
of  bees. 

If  you  go  to  the  city  you  find  long 
rows  of  these  boxes,  made  of  bricks  or 
stone,  and  standing  close  to  one  another. 
There  are  thousands  of  them,  and  in  each 
one  is  a  little  family — father  and  mother 
and  two  or  three  miniature  human  beings. 

These  we  call  our  homes,  and  they 
mean  to  us  either  happiness  or  misery. 
What  an  odd  arrangement  it  all  must 
.seem  to  one  who  has  never  looked  upon 
such  things  before ! 

The  mole  digs  an  intricate  apartment 
for  himself  under  the  sod;  the  rabbit 
burrows :  the  bird  makes  for  itself  a 


94:  BROWS  STUDIES. 

nest ;  and  man  puts  a  box  on  the  ground 
in  which  to  find  shelter. 

It  is  all  very  strange ;  but  perhaps  the 
strangest  thing-  of  all  would  be  for  our 
traveler  from  Sirius  to  watch  certain  of 
these  human  creatures  going  down  on 
their  knees,  the  old  and  young  assuming 
the  same  attitude,  lifting  up  their  hands 
toward  the  sky,  and  saying  something 
into  the  air.  Would  he  understand  what 
that  meant?  Would  he  regard  it  as  an 
eccentricity  worth  studying,  and  would  lie 
like  to  put  a  dozen  or  so  of  our  families 
into  his  knapsack,  as  a  botanist  gathers 
plants,  and  carry  them  back  to  Sirius  to 
present  to  some  scientific  society  as  very 
curious  specimens  of  animal  life,  whose 
habitations  are  on  the  plan  of  the  moles' 
burrow  or  the  nests  of  the  birds,  only 
more  elaborate,  and  therefore  indicating 
a  larger  degree  of  intelligence  ? 

But  we  will  dismiss  this  Siriau  giant 
and  his  speculations.  Whatever  our 


FAMILIES  IN  BOXES.  95 

homes  may  seem  to  be  to  him,  they  are 
to  us  the  sweetest  spots  on  earth,  asylums 
from  the  cares  of  life,  where  man  and 
wife  may  weave  the  events  of  every-day, 
like  gold  and  silver  threads,  into  tke 
beautiful  fabric  of  domestic  happiness. 

A  contented  home,  even  though  it  be 
under  the  roof  of  a  wooden  box,  is  the 
nearest  thing  to  heaven  that  we  can 
dream  of. 

A  man  and  woman  who  go,  not  merely 
arm  in  arm,  but  heart  to  heart,  through 
woes  and  joys,  getting  into  sweeter  rela 
tions  with  every  summer  and  winter,  have 
achieved  the  highest  purpose  that  God 
himself  could  ask  of  them. 

"  Heigh-ho  !  "  I  sighed,  at  last— for  it 
was  getting  late — "why  could  not  fate 
have  given  me  the  chance  to  make  such 
a  home '? " 

Leo  at  that  moment,  as  though  con 
scious  of  the  turn  my  thoughts  were  tak- 


96  BltOJTX  STUDIES. 

ing,  put  his  head  on  my  knee,  and  looked 
into  my  face  as  though  to  say,  "  Kind  sir, 
you  have  had  a  longer  brown  study  than 
usual  this  evening,  and  if  you  allow  your 
thoughts  to  ramble  as  far  as  Florida  there 
will  be  110  sleep  to-night." 

Leo  was  right.  A  peep  at  the  stars — 
for  it  was  a  superb  night — a  draft  of 
ice-cold  water  from  the  spring,  and  my 
day's  work  was  done.  The  hemloclr- 
boughs  made  a  splendid  mattress,  and  I 
lay  for  a  while  watching  the  firelight  on 
the  floor  and  the  walls,  and  then  fell 
asleep. 


CHAPTER  V. 

MISTAKES    IN   MARRIAGE. 

IT  was  cold  yesterday — decidedly  cold 
— and  I  found  I  needed  my  heaviest 
clothing  to  keep  comfortable.  The  mer 
cury  recorded  ten  degrees  above  zero, 
which  means  twenty-two  degrees  below 
freezing-point.  The  wind  cut  like  a  knife, 
but  Leo  and  I  took  a  tramp  of  three  hours 
through  the  woods,  and  when  I  reached 
camp,  just  before  sundown,  I  had  dis 
guised  myself  with  rosy  cheeks.  My 
appetite,  however,  was  that  of  a  giant. 

On  consulting  my  pedometer  I  found 
that  we  had  covered  a  little  over  six 
miles.  As  I  carried  a  ten-pound  gun  on 
mv  shoulder — bv  the  wav,  it  grew  to  be 

J  v  %,     "  O 

97 


98  JiKOWX  STUDIES. 

twenty  pounds  before  I  got  back — and 
two  of  the  miles  were  along  rising  ground 
beyond  which  was  a  steep  ascent  which 
drove  my  heart-beats  from  seventy-two 
to  eighty,  I  was  gloriously  fatigued,  and 
felt  that  I  had  done  a  fair  day's  work. 

I  looked  into  the  kitchen,  and  the 
aroma  of  supper  gave  my  appetite  a 
keener  edge.  I  was  delightfully  hungry, 
and  Sim's  smile  was  the  prophecy  of  good 
things  to  come. 

"  In  half  an  hour,"  he  said,  cheerily. 

"  All  right,  Sim ;  but  make  it  as  short 
a  half -hour  as  you  can." 

Then  came  a  dash  of  cold  spring  water, 
and  I  felt  like  Jupiter  Olympus. 
.    Sim  did  himself  proud  011  that  occa 
sion,  and  the  supper  was  worth  special 
mention. 

Eating  may  be  a  carnal  pleasure  for 
aught  I  know,  but  since  the  Lord  has  be 
stowed  digestive  organs  upon  us  there  is 
no  reason  why  we  should  not  enjoy  their 


LEO    AND    I    TOOK    A    TKAM1'.       I'/lfff   98. 


MI  STAKES    IX   MAI!  Ill  AGE.  99 

exercise.  It  has  always  seemed  queer  to 
me  that  we  must  maintain  life  by  putting 
certain  articles  into  an  aperture  in  the 
face, 'and  grinding  them  to  proper  fine 
ness  by  the  enginery  of  the  jaws.  Still 
that  is  the  arrangement  which  lie  saw 
fit  to  make,  and  I  have  no  complaints  to 
offer. 

First  Sim  placed  before  me  a  dish  on 
which  reposed  a  couple  of  broiled  trout, 
crisp,  and  with  the  smell  of  flames  on 
them.  They  were  big  fellows,  fresh  from 
the  lake.  Their  flesh  was  hard,  and  the 
bits  of  curled  bacon  scattered  over  them 
gave  a  flavor  which  neither  man  nor  an 
gel  could  resist.  I  felt  like  a  king,  and 
there  seemed  to  be  nothing  on  earth  for 
me  to  desire. 

And  yet  I  ought  not  to  say  that,  for 
as  I  sat  at  the  rude  table  enjoying  this 
royal  meal  alone  a  sense  of  loneliness 
crept  over  me.  I  thought  of  the  orange 
grove  far  away,  and  wished  with  a  mo- 


100  IS  ROWS  STL' DIES. 

mentary  pang  in  my  heart  that  She  were 
there  to  partake  of  my  sumptuous  feast. 
But  I  soon  recognized  the  inevitable, 
brushed  aside  the  pain  with  the  reflection 
that  She  was  happy  even  if  I  was  not,  and 
then  helped  myself  to  a  second  portion. 

"  Where  did  you  get  them,  Sim  ? " 

u  Out  of  the  pool  just  at  the  mouth  of 
the  stream." 

11  Were  they  gamy  ?  Did  you  play  them 
long1  ?  Did  you  do  it  with  a  fly  ? " 

He  shook  his  head.  "  Plain  hook,  worm 
for  bait,  and  I  didn't  let  them  fool  round 
much,  for  I  was  in  a  hurry.  Just  hauled 
'em  out  without  any  nonsense  whatever." 

After  the  fish,  came  a  juicy,  tender,  lus 
cious  venison  steak,  an  inch  and  a  half 
thick,  and  some  potatoes  baked  in  the 
hot  coals  with  their  jackets  on.  Sim  had 
clearly  been  put  on  his  mettle  ;  and  when 
he  brought  me  a  cup  of  black  coffee  I 
concluded  that  I  had  never  enjoyed  a 
meal  so  much  in  my  life.  It  was  a  cltcf- 
re,  and  I  was  proud  of  my  cuisine. 


MISTAKES    l.\    MAlllUAdE.  101 

Thou  came  another  roaring  fire.  The 
flames  were  somewhat  eccentric,  though, 
for  they  dashed  a  couple  of  feet  from  the 
hearth  and  then  with  a  graceful  curl 
turned  back  and  went  up  the  chimney. 
Something  had  happened  to  the  draft; 
hut  the  effect  was  artistic  and  charming. 

"  Suppose  I  put  a  green  hemlock-bough 
on  ?"  suggested  John. 

"  What  for  ? "  I  asked. 

'•  Didn't  you  ever  try  it  ? " 

"  Never." 

"  Tlien  here  goes :"  and  with  that  an 
armful  of  the  green  stuff  was  laid  on  the 
flames. 

Such  a  sputtering  and  crackling,  and 
such  an  odor  filled  the  room  ! 

But  all  at  once  the  wind  seemed  to 
come  down  the  chimney,  and  we  were 
enveloped  in  thick  smoke  which  nearly 
choked  us  and  made  it  necessary  to  open 
windows  and  doors. 

"It's  as  bad  as  a  scolding  wife."  re 
marked  John  to  himself.  •'  There's  no 


102  BROWS  STUDIES. 

standing  it,  and  you  have  to  get  out.  no 
matter  how  cold  it  is." 

I  hardly  know  why.  but  that  smoke 
reminded  me  also  of  an  unhappy  home. 
So  I  said  rather  quizzically  : 

'•John,  you  never  married?" 

He  shook  his  head. 

"  Why  not  ? "  I  asked. 

"  Didn't  durst  to.  It's  pretty  risky 
business.  A  single  man  knows  where  he 
is  all  the  time.  If  he  gets  married  he 
may  be  all  broke  up  or  he  may  not  be. 
The  chances  are  agin  him." 

With  that  he  shuffled  out  of  the  room, 
leaving  Leo  to  his  dreams  and  me  to  my 
thoughts. 

"  Is  it  true/'  I  asked  myself,  "  that  mar 
riage  is  such  an  uncertain  enterprise  ? " 

I  indulged  in  reminiscence,  recalled  one 
by  one  the  houses  where  I  had  been  enter 
tained,  the  families  with  whom  I  was  on 
familiar  terms,  the  men  and  women  whose 
secrets  were  rumored  in  the  clubs,  and 


S   L\   MARRIAGE.  103 

» 

was  forced  to  admit  that  John  was  right 
when  he  said  that  "the  chances  were 
agin  '•  a  married  man  or  woman. 

But  I  must  discriminate,  for  I  wish  to 
l>e  entirely  just.  It  would  be  very  stupid 
to  declare1  that  the  world  is  all  good,  and 
equally  stupid  to  assert  that  it  is  all  bad. 
There  is  plenty  of  evil  which  you  do  not 
have  to  hunt  for,  because  it  has  an  inso 
lent  way  of  thrusting  itself  to  the  front ; 
and  there  is  also  plenty  of  good  if  you 
take  pains  to  look  for  it. 

Of  all  men  on  the  earth  the  one  I  de 
spise  is  the  arrant,  rogue  who  sees  every 
body  else  through  his  own  roguery. 

The  fellow  who  sneers  at  honor  in  men 
and  purity  in  women  because  he  never 
had  any  sense  of  honor  himself,  and  long 
ago  dispensed  with  his  purity,  is  simply 
intolerable.  I  would  rather  have  some 
one  drop  an  icicle  down  my  back  than  to 
hear  such  a  one  chatter. 

Now,  since  my  business  is  to  tell  the 


104  nitoirx  STUDIES. 

exact  truth  as  I  understand  it,  I  wish  to 
say,  with  all  possible  emphasis,  that  there 
are  many  happy  marriages.  I  know  some 
couples  who  have  been  in  each  other's 
company  for  twenty  years,  and  who  would 
not  exchange  their  homes  for  the  bliss  of 
heaven.  The  husband  and  wife  are  not 
simply  bound  together  by  the  law  of  the 
land,  but  by  that  kind  of  love  which  over 
comes  all  obstacles  and  sweetens  every 
sorrow.  They  would  rather  be  shoulder 
to  shoulder  •  with  each  other,  even  amid 
somewhat  straitened  circumstances,  than 
side  by  side  with  any  one  else  in  a  palace. 
The  old  romance  still  lingers,  the  old  chiv 
alry  persists,  and  the  poetry  of  other  days 
has  not  changed  to  prose. 

He  brings  a  rose  home  with  as  much 
enthusiasm  as  he  showed  before  lie  put 
the  wedding-ring  on  her  finger,  and  time 
has  served  to  mellow  rather  than  efface 
the  tenderness  with  which  he  regards  her. 
She  is  still  his  queen,  the  one  most  of  all 


.MISTAKES   IS   MAlilUAGE.  105 

to  be  desired ;  and  lie  has  never  once  been 
tempted  to  look  into  another  woman's 
faee.  She  satisfies  him,  fills  his  cup  full. 
There  is  nothing1  like  humdrum  in  their 
lives,  and  their  sun  shines  as  brightly  in 
the  afternoon  as  it  did  in  the  morning. 

And  she  thinks  of  him  when  she  is 
shopping,  and  stops  at  the  confectioner's 
for  a  paper  of  bonbons  of  which  he  is 
fond,  and  which  will  give  him  a  glad  sur 
prise  after  the  long  day's  work.  Proud 
of  him  ?  Why,  to  hear  her  speak  of  him 
you  would  think  him  a  god.  He  is  so 
wise,  and  so  good,  and  so  refined,  and  yet 
so  manly !  It  would  never  do  to  let  her 
write  his  biography,  for  the  world  would 
hardly  recognize  the  picture  she  would 
draw.  But  then  the  world's  opinion  is 
nothing;  we  are  only  thinking  of  their 
opinion  of  each  other. 

Yes.  happy  marriages  there  are;  and 
do  you  know,  I  think  mine  would  have 
been  added  to  the  list  if  She  and  I  had 


10(3  ISHOH'X   $T['I>11<:S. 

gone  to  the  altar  together.  Ah,  she  is 
such  a  cultured  creature,  with  that  refine 
ment  of  soul  which  only  nature  can  give  ! 
I  have  sat  in  the  gloaming  in  the  little 
family  parlor  and  listened  to  her  improv 
isations  at  the  piano,  when  she  set  her 
mood  to  music,  and  they  are  the  happiest 
hours  within  reach  of  my  memory.  But 
from  pure  merriment,  with  which  she  be 
gan,  she  always  dropped  after  a  little  into 
the  minor  key,  and  played  so  softly  and 
so  sadly  that  I  could  not  keep  the  tears 
from  my  eyes. 

I  often  wonder  why  this  always  hap 
pened;  why  she  should  have  made  the 
keys  laugh  to  begin  with  and  sigh  to 
end  with.  Was  it  a  kind  of  forecast  of 
our  future,  a  prophecy  of  what  was  to 
come  ? 

Well,  I  must  get  away  from  that  sub 
ject. 

Now,  if  there  are  happy  marriages, 
there  are  also  unfortunate  couples  who 


MISTAKES   AV  MARRIAGE.  107 

made  a  mistake  when  they  selected  each 
other. 

They  began  with  castles  in  the  air,  and 
they  end  with  mutual  avoidance  on  every 
possible  occasion. 

At  first  there  is  no  pleasure  apart  from 
each  other;  at  last  there  is  no  pleasure 
unless  they  arc  apart. 

Perhaps  my  observation  has  been  ex 
ceptional  ;  but  when  I  think  of  this  puz 
zling  problem  I  am  surprised  that  I  know 
so  many  people  who  blundered  when  they 
got  married. 

What  is  the  matter  with  the  world? 
Do  people  marry  too  young  or  too  late, 
or  is  domestic  misery  a  necessary  part  of 
our  discipline  ? 

Nonsense.  We  were  never  intended  to 
be  miserable.  If  we  are  unhappy  it  must 
be  our  own  fault. 

Perhaps  the  severest  criticism  I  ever 
heard  was  made  by  a  lady  of  exceeding 
refinement.  I  suspect  that  in  her  own 


10S  IlKOirX   STUDIES. 

household  there  is  a  dark  closet  where  a 
skeleton  is  kept,  for  though  she  seemed 
to  be  merely  witty  there  was  an  ominous 
compression  of  the  lips  when  she  said, 
<•  If  you  wish  to  keep  your  influence  over 
a  man  don't  marry  him." 

Then  I  indulged  in  some  very  serious 
reflections  on  this  subject,  and  reached 
certain  conclusions  which  are  not  wholly 
creditable  to  either  men  or  women. 

First,  we  marry  at  a  time  when  we  are 
least  fitted  to  judge  of  the  conditions  of 
human  happiness.  The  fateful  step  is 
taken  during  the  romantic  period,  before 
poetry  has  given  way  to  reality.  A  young 
girl  fresh  from  her  school-books  is  not 
equipped  either  mentally  or  emotionally 
for  a  proper  consideration  of  the  marriage 
relation. 

She  idealizes  her  lover.  He  may  have 
the  most  glaring  faults  of  character,  but 
she  is  totally  blind  to  them. 

Neither  by  education  nor  by  experience 


MISTAKES    IX   MA  Kit  I  AGE.  109 

is  she  fitted  to  discern  between  the  quali 
ties  which  will  make  her  miserable  and 
those  which  will  bring'  her  content. 

She  thinks  she  can  be  blissfully  happy 
in  two  rooms,  and  it'  her  father  tells  her 
nay  she  regards  him  as  a  tyrant. 

Warning-  does  no  good  to  either  girls 
or  boys,  for  they  are  ready  to  trust  a 
volatile  passion  in  preference  to  common 
sense.  To  what  extent,  therefore,  is  John 
right,  when  he  says  that  the  chances  are 
against  both  him  and  her? 

If  society  were  so  constituted  that  lov 
ers  could  make  trial  of  each  other  for 
two  years  of  married  life,  and  then  decide 
whether  they  would  travel  together,  how 
many  separations  would  there  be  at  the 
end  of  the  two  years  ? 

How  many  would  discover  that  "  things 
are  not  what  they  seem  "  ;  and  how  many 
would  wonder,  after  the  lapse  of  that 
experimental  period,  how  it  was  possible 
for  them  to  make  so  crave  a  mistake? 


no  uitou-y  STUDIES. 

But  society  is  not  so  constituted,  and 
we  therefore  live  on  after  our  terrible 
discovery,  trying  to  make  the  best,  or,  if 
we  are  desperate,  making  the  worst  of 
our  unhappy  state. 

The  question  is,  What  proportion  of 
married  people  do  find  out  at  some  time 
that  they  were  never  intended  for  each 
other,  and  thereafter  live  comparatively 
separate  lives? 

It  strikes  me  that  these  instances  are 
appallingly  numerous,  and  yet  I  am  firmly 
convinced  that  such  catastrophes  can  to 
a  certain  extent  be  avoided.  If  men  and 
women  will  accept  and  conform  to  the 
conditions  of  domestic  happiness,  the  hap 
piness  is  likely  to  follow. 

Of  course  there  are  exceptional  cases 
where  misery  is  inevitable,  as  when  a 
husband  becomes  a  sot,  and  so  renders  it 
impossible  for  the  wife  to  have  any  close 
relations  with  him  ;  or  when,  having  worn 
out  the  novelty  of  his  own  home,  he  seeks 


MISTAKES  IN  MARRIAGE.  Ill 

the  society  of  other  women,  and  thus  makes 
himself  repulsive  and  unendurable  to  the 
wife  who  swore  to  love,  honor,  and  obey, 
but  who  is  freed  from  the  obligation  by 
the  man's  un worthiness. 

Under  such  circumstances  there  is  posi 
tively  no  hope,  and  it  is  an  infinite  pity 
that  any  woman  should  be  bound  to  such 
a  man.  If  his  life  is  spoiled  by  habitual 
viciousness  there  is  no  good  reason  why 
hers  should  be  made  a  sacrifice  to  him. 
If  liis  guilt  creates  a  hell  she  ought  not 
to  l)e  compelled,  either  by  law  or  custom, 
to  live  in  it  with  him. 

Pardon  me  if  I  say  that  the  converse  is 
also  true.  If  there  are  women  who  have 
ignoble  husbands  there  are  men  who  have 
unworthy  wives.  I  do  not  say  that  there 
are  equal  numbers  in  each  category,  be 
cause  I  believe  that  there  are  more  good 
women  in  the  world  than  good  men  ;  but 
I  have  known  at  least  half  a  dozen  in 
stances  in  which  men  of  sensitive  feelings. 


112  mtOWX  STUDIES. 

high  honor,  and  generous  hearts  have 
had  their  lives  despoiled  by  wives  whose 
immorality  (harsh  word),  or  extravagance, 
or  love  of  excitement,  or  vicious  habits 
have  converted  the  once  happy  home  into 
the  abode  of  silent,  because  unspeakable, 
misery. 

I  would  therefore  place  men  and  women 
on  an  equal  footing  in  these  matters,  with 
no  discrimination  in  favor  of  either,  and 
declare  that  no  woman's  life  should  be 
spent  for  an  intolerable  man,  and  no  man's 
life  should  be  thrown  away  in  order  to 
preserve,  for  purely  conventional  reasons, 
the  hollow  and  false  semblance  of  a  home. 

I  am  conservative  on  most  subjects, 
but  in  this  matter  I  am  sternly  radical. 

Remember  that  I  have  been  a  careful 
observer  for  twenty  years ;  that  I  have 
known  three  men,  whose  morning  of  life 
was  radiant  with  hope  and  enthusiasm 
and  ambition,  go  to  a  voluntary  death 
because  they  could  endure  the  burden 


MISTAKES   IX  MARRIAGE.  113 

no  longer.  I  do  not  exculpate  them ;  per 
haps  they  were  cowardly  to  get  rid  of  it 
all  in  that  way.  Moralize  as  yon  please, 
those  are  the  facts ;  and  as  for  myself,  I 
knew  what  they  endured,  and  pitied  them. 
And  I  have  watched  the  fading  health 
of  half  a  dozen  wives.  Like  willows, 
they  bent  to  the  foul  breeze.  The  color 
left  their  cheeks,  the  light  left  their  eyes ; 
they  were  aged  at  thirty-five.  They  sim 
ply  endured,  in  most  cases  without  a  mur 
mur  :  their  lives  ransacked  and  looted,  as 
though  a  horde  of  ruffians  had  invaded 
the  premises  and  taken  away  everything 
of  value.  I  followed  one  such — a  patient 
martyr  to  a  brute  of  a  husband — to  Wood- 
lawn,  where  the  body  was  laid  at  rest 
When  the  preacher  spoke  of  the  incident 
as  an  act  of  Providence  I  knew,  and  every 
one  else  knew,  that  it  was  simply  murder ; 
not  with  knife  or  pistol,  but  with  neglect 
and  the  poisonous  repulsiveness  of  vice 
in  a  dozen  shapes. 


114  BROWX  STUDIES. 

No,  I  cannot  say  that  in  such  cases  the 
unhappiness  of  the  household  can  be 
either  wholly  or  partially  mitigated.  The 
elements  of  destruction  are  present,  and 
must  produce  their  legitimate  results. 

But  this  I  do  assert :  that  in  ordinary 
cases  domestic  happiness  may  be  largely 
increased,  and  disagreeable  scenes  fre 
quently  avoided,  by  a  proper  knowledge  of 
the  rules  which  ought  to  govern  a  couple 
when  they  undertake  to  live  together. 

I  am  sure  that  married  people  are  quite 
too  familiar  with  each  other.  There  is 
altogether — and  I  cannot  be  too  emphatic 
in  this  declaration — there  is  too  much  in 
timacy  on  the  physical  plane.  Unless  a 
certain  amount  of  reserve  is  maintained 
the  relations  of  married  people  become 
common,  and  to  a  sensitive  soul  there  is 
an  element  of  vulgarity  in  them  which  is 
peculiarly  disastrous. 

A   woman   has  a  degree   of  delicacy 


MISTAKES  IN  MARRIAGE.  115 

which  very  few  of  the  other  sex  appreci 
ate  or  understand.  If  the  man  succeeds 
in  lowering  his  wife's  spiritual  tone  to  his 
own  coarse  level  he  has  not  only  done 
her  a  personal  injury,  but  he  has  inter 
fered  with  his  own  happiness. 

He  was  her  ideal  at  the  beginning,  and 
to  lose  an}'  of  the  prestige  which  follows 
from  that  fact  is  to  produce  a  reactive 
repulsion  which  destroys  the  soul-relation 
of  the  two. 

There  should  be  as  much  courtesy  when 
the  door  of  the  chamber  is  locked  as 
there  is  in  the  drawing-room ;  and  yet 
that  truth  is  very  seldom  recognized. 

A  man  will  indulge  in  allusions  which 
to  her  modest  and  shrinking  nature  are 
repellent.  She  looks  at  him  in  wonder, 
hardly  knowing  what  he  means.  He  is 
doing  the  very  thing  which  in  time  will 
produce  a  revulsion  of  feeling  and  almost 
make  her  wish  that  conjugal  relationship 
were  not  a  necessity  of  marriage.  The 


116  DROWN  STUDIES. 

freshness  which  courtship  held  so  sacred 
is  destroyed  by  a  kind  of  matrimonial 
sacrilege. 

It  seldom  happens  that  a  woman  lifts 
her  husband  up  to  the  height  of  refine 
ment  which  she  occupies  by  nature.  If 
it  could  be  done  marriage  would  be  a 
much  more  divine  arrangement  than  it  is. 
It  very  frequently  happens,  however,  that 
the  coarseness  of  the  man  either  drags 
the  wife  down  to  his  level  or  else  pro 
duces  a  shrinking  from  him  which  makes 
her  unhappy. 

If  the  wife  is  once  convinced  that  she 
has  no  will  of  her  own,  but  is  simply  sub 
ject  to  his  carnal  passions,  she  receives 
a  shock  from  which  recovery  is  very  un 
certain. 

Mutual  respect  can  be  maintained  only 
by  admitting  that  if  he  is  king  she  is  also 
queen,  and  that  she  has  equal  rights  with 
himself.  When  that  respect  goes  every 
thing  goes  with  it. 


MISTAKES   IX  MA  Mil  AGE.  117 

Tlie  wife  is  not  the  mail's  property,  and 
he  cannot  do  as  he  pleases.  Love  is  very 
beautiful,  but  it  must  be  reciprocal  if  it 
is  to  last,  and  no  man  can  make  a  woman 
the  object  of  his  physical  desires  without 
giving  her  affections  a  terrible  wrench. 

I  assert,  therefore,  that  half  the  un 
happy  marriages  in  the  world  are  caused 
by  the  abandon  and  license  which  may  be 
legally  sanctioned,  but  which  are  morally 
criminal. 

And  I  further  declare  that  the  sancti 
ties  of  the  most  mysterious  relation  in 
our  human  life  should  in  no  degree  be 
debased  to  serve  the  mere  appetite  for 
pleasure,  and  that  if  they  are  so  debased  the 
inevitable  consequence  will  be  the  injury, 
if  not  the  destruction,  of  that  higher  love 
which  makes  the  home  an  innocent  para 
dise  in  which  alone  the  happiness  which 
is  longed  for  can  be  found. 

There  is  another  matter  which  I  should 


118  BROWN  STUDIES. 

like  to  comment  upon,  since  I  am  in  a 
somewhat  critical  mood. 

I  have  noticed  that  men  and  women 
may  be  very  fond  of  and  still  be  very  un 
just  to  each  other.  They  are  good  lovers, 
but  bad  friends.  Perhaps  it  is  because 
they  love  that  they  are  suspicious  and 
even  jealous — both  suspicious  and  jealous 
without  cause. 

If  a  woman  thoughtlessly  commits  an 
indiscretion  she  ought  to  be  able  to  go  to 
her  husband  at  once,  make  a  full  and  free 
confession  of  her  fault,  and  receive  from 
him  a  chivalrous  protection.  But  the 
marriage  relation  is  such  that  he  will 
probably  judge  her  more  harshly  than 
any  one  else ;  will  magnify  the  insignifi 
cant  lapse,  accuse  her  of  all  sorts  of  im 
proper  motives,  either  grow  sullen,  and 
remain  so  for  an  indefinite  period,  or  else 
make  a  fuss  larger  than  the  Pyramid  of 
Cheops.  Almost  every  man  is  quick  to 
attribute  a  bad  motive  to  his  wife,  and 


MISTAKES  IX  MARRIAGE.  119 

the  consequent  estrangement  pushes  them 
so  far  apart  that  they  may  never  come 
together  again. 

She  can  go  to  her  mother  or  to  some 
lady  friend,  tell  the  whole  story,  arid  be 
perfectly  well  understood ;  or  possibly  she 
may,  in  her  distraction,  confide  in  some 
man  whose  intimacy  with  the  family  war 
rants  such  a  step,  and  he  will  look  at  the 
affair  in  a  dispassionate  way  and  assure 
her  that  the  fault  is  venial.  He  pooh- 
poohs  at  it,  and  she  finds — fatal  mistake  ! 
— a  larger  charity  outside  her  own  house 
than  the  man  who  of  all  the  people  in  the 
world  loves  her  best  will  afford  her. 

He  is  the  only  one  who  refuses  to  be 
lieve  her.  He  will  even  regard  her  con 
fession,  though  accompanied  by  tears,  as 
a  piece  of  strategy,  Machiavellian  in  cun 
ning,  with  which  to  mislead  him  ;  and  his 
vivid  imagination  will  conjure  up  all  sorts 
of  tricks  and  subterfuges  of  which  in  his 
heart  he  accuses  her.  He  will  not  ffive 


120  BliOWN  STUDIES. 

her  credit  for  repenting  of  her  fault,  but 
will  regard  it  as  her  way  of  getting  out 
of  a  difficulty  which  he  may  hear  all  about 
from  some  officious  neighbor. 

He  is  her  husband,  and  ought  to  know 
her  better  than  her  mother  does ;  but  for 
some  reason  he  is  the  one  man  who  per 
sistently  misunderstands  her,  and  swiftly 
makes  the  worst  possible  case  of  an  inci 
dent  which  really  means  nothing. 

If  she  is  conscious  of  this  habit  on  his 
part,  she  oftentimes  comes  to  the  conclu 
sion  that  the  easiest  way  out  of  the  dilem 
ma  is  to  deceive  him.  A  marriage  is  a 
good  deal  like  a  lump  of  silver  with  a 
seam  of  lead  in  it,  when  a  woman  thinks 
it  necessary  to  tell  a  falsehood  rather 
than  suffer  from  a  jealousy  which  has  no 
foundation. 

If  the  wife  reaches  the  deliberate  con 
clusion  that  there  are  some  things  which 
her  husband  must  not  know,  domestic 
happiness  is  like  a  building  with  a  crack 


MISTAKES   IX  MARRIAGE.  121 

in  its  outer  wall,  and  which  may  tumble 
into  ruins  at  any  moment. 

Perfect  confidence  is  the  primary  con 
dition  of  a  healthy  relation  between  a 
man  and  a  woman  who  are  living  under 
the  same  roof ;  and  when  that  confidence 
is  shattered  disaster  is  sure  to  follow,  or, 
what  is  much  worse?  a  continual  friction 
is  produced  which  spoils  the  life  of  the 
man,  sends  the  woman  into  society  for 
the  sake  of  excitement,  and  perhaps  breaks 
the  hearts  of  both. 

Let  me  emphasize  my  statements  by  an 
illustration.  Jack  and  Madge  Curtison 
had  a  very  bright  future  when  they  left 
the  church  on  their  wedding-trip.  Slip 
pers  and  rice  attested  the  good-will  of 
every  one  in  the  circle  of  their  friends. 
They  were  apparently  as  well  suited  to 
each  other — so  I  thought  when  I  stood  at 
the  back  of  the  church  and  saw  them  at 
the  altar — as  any  couple  that  ever  ex- 


122  snowy  STUDIES. 

changed  vows.  It  was  a  genuine  love- 
match.  Jack  was  Madge's  champion  in 
his  boyhood,  and  I  don't  know  that  he 
ever  seriously  cared  for  any  one  else. 

There  were  only  two  criticisms  which 
the  cynic  could  make :  he  was  just  a  bit 
jealous  and  she  was  just  a  bit  thoughtless. 
However,  Ave  are  not  archangels,  and  it 
was  thought  that  such  superficial  faults 
as  these  would  disappear  in  time.  There 
was  nothing  on  which  to  base  a  prophecy 
of  disagreement  or  uuhappiness,  for  they 
both  had  a  degree  of  common  sense. 

One  day  Jack  was  called  to  Chicago  on 
business,  and  parted  with  his  little  wife 
with  great  regret,  for  she  could  not  ac 
company  him.  He  took  the  train  on 
Thursday  night,  and  within  two  hours  it 
began  to  snow.  It  snowed  steadily  all 
the  next  day  until  five  o'clock,  when  a 
slight  rain  fell,  which  packed  the  snow 
hard  and  made  the  most  magnificent 
sleighing.  Saturday  morning  the  mercury 


MISTAKES  AY  MAURI  AGE.  123 

fell  to  ten  above,  and  the  air  was  crisp, 
sharp,  exhilarating. 

Tom  Xevins  was  an  old  admirer  of 
Madge,  and — I  say  this  in  confidence — 
ha.d  some  slight  hopes  in  the  old  days. 
But  though  Madge  liked  him  and,  as  she 
once  told  me,  was  very  fond  of  him  as  a 
friend,  she  never  in  her  wildest  moments 
dreamed  of  him  as  a  husband.  Indeed, 
the  distance  between  them  was  so  great 
that  he  never  got  near  enough  to  make 
love  to  her  in  earnest.  At  arm's-length 
Madge  thought  him  a  royal  good  fellow ; 
but  as  a  lover  she  looked  upon  him  with 
a  feeling  of  repulsion. 

Tom  kept  up  his  intimacy  with  both 
Jack  and  Madge  for  a  year  after  their 
marriage,  and  then  just  the  shadow  of  a 
suspicion  came  over  Jack's  heart.  There 
was  no  reason  for  it,  since  Madge  was  as 
devoted  as  wife  could  be.  Then  Tom's 
visits  were  less  frequent. 

On  this  particular  occasion  Tom  called 


124  BROWX  STUDIES. 

,at  Madge's  with  an  invitation  to  take  a 
dash  through  the  park.  The  two  horses 
were  champing  their  bits  at  the  door. 
Merry  bells  were  heard  everywhere.  The 
snow  was  eleaii  and  iridescent  in  the 
sunshine.  Sleighing  was  Madge's  delight. 
She  had  been  the  central  figure  in  many 
a  moonlight  party  of  that  kind,  for  her 
vivacity  and  love  of  fun  were  simply 
boundless. 

Without  giving  the  matter  a  moment's 
consideration,  thinking  only  that  Tom 
was  more  than  kind  to  call  for  her,  clap 
ping  her  hands  and  crying,  "  How  delight 
ful  !  "  she  rushed  from  the  room,  and  in 
ten  minutes  reappeared  fully  equipped  in 
rich  furs. 

She  did  look  beautiful,  I  must  confess, 
with  her  sparkling  blue  eyes  and  rosy 
cheeks ;  and  Tom  may  be  excused  if  he 
felt  proud  to  have  such  a  companion. 

Well,  they  had  a  merry  time.  But 
when  it  was  all  over,  and  Madge  was 


MISTAKES   AY  MARRIAGE.  125 

going  up  the  steps,  Bella  Fremont  met 
her.  Bella  had  a  critical  element  in  her 
nature,  and,  besides,  had  once  on  a  time 
cast  longing  glances  at  Tom.  They  were 
not  returned,  however,  and  the  indignity 
was  never  forgiven. 

Bella  simply  said  "  Ah  ! ''  as  she  passed, 
and  then,  for  the  first  time,  Madge  saw 
that  she  had  committed  an  indiscretion. 
Her  red  cheeks  became  white,  and  her 
beautiful  eyes  filled  with  tears  of  vexa 
tion  at  her  own  stupidity. 

That  night  she  had  little  sleep.  What 
would  Jack  say  ? '  How  should  she  explain 
it  to  him  ?  She  heard  the  clock  strike 
one,  then  two,  then  three ;  and  after  that 
she  dropped  into  welcome  forgetfulness. 

She  concluded,  after  long  debate,  to  tell 
Jack  the  whole  story,  and  trust  to  his  love 
to  forgive.  "  It's  the  best  way,"  she  said, 
rather  mournfully ;  "  at  any  rate,  I  shall 
preserve  my  own  self-respect,  for  I  posi 
tively  cannot  deceive  him." 


126  BHOJl'y  STUDIES. 

So  when  Jack  returned  she  awaited  her 
opportunity  and  told  him  everything. 

I  have  already  intimated  that  he  had  a 
jealous  temperament. 

I  can  only  add  that  he  didn't  believe  a 
word  she  said. 

He  shrugged  his  shoulders,  flushed  in 
the  face,  and  muttered  an  oath  or  two 
while  she  was  talking.  When  she  had 
finished  he  went  to  the  window,  thrust 
his  hands  into  his  pockets,  and  whistled. 

"  It's  perfectly  clear,"  he  said  to  himself. 
"  She  tells  me  because  she  is  afraid  not  to. 
Look  at  it,  I  go  away:  The  moment  I 
am  out  of  sight  one  of  her  old  lovers 
turns  up  with  a  couple  of  horses  and  a 
sleigh.  She  goes  off  and  has  a  gay  time. 
She  has  grown  tired  of  me  already.  She 
wants  more  excitement  than  my  presence 
can  afford  her.  Yes,"  and  he  sighed  pro 
foundly,  "  I  see  how  it  is.7' 

That  wound  was  never  healed.    To  this 


MISTAKES  iy  MARRIAGE.  127 

day  Jack  believes  that  Madge  is  wilful 
and  a  coquette. 

They  drew  apart,  and  in  the  course  of 
two  years  he  had  plenty  of  reason  for 
complaint.  He  created,  by  his  want  of 
confidence,  the  very  faults  which  he  un 
justly  attributed  to  her.  Had  he  taken 
her  in  his  arms  in  that  hour  of  confes 
sion  ;  had  lie  told  her  that  she  had  done 
him  a  great  wrong,  but  he  believed  every 
word  she  said,  and  would  never  refer  to 
the  subject  again,  she  would  be  his  happy 
wife  to-day  without  doubt.  But  he  was 
her  worst  enemy  and  his  own  worst  ene 
my.  He  had  a  black  look  on  his  face; 
he  was  sarcastic ;  he  gave  her  plainly  to 
understand  that  he  suspected  her;  he 
spent  his  evenings  at  the  club,  and  studi 
ously  neglected  her. 

Last  year  they  were  so  far  apart  that 
a  legal  separation  was  obtained.  Jack  is 
a  cynical,  sour,  crabbed  fellow,  who  de- 


128  BROWN  STUDIES. 

lights  in  making  bitter  remarks  about 
women ;  and  slie — well,  let  the  subject 
drop. 

The  truth  is,  Jack  was  Madge's  hus 
band,  but  not  her  friend.  He  was  harsher 
in  his  judgment  than  he  would  have  been 
to  any  other  woman  under  the  same  cir 
cumstances. 

Women  may  be  angels,  but  at  the  same 
time  they  are  human.  Men  may  be  hon 
orable,  but  sometimes  they  are  fiendish 
toward  those  they  love  best. 

God  pity  us,  say  I,  when  we  are  in  a 
jealous  mood;  for  all  the  imps  of  Satan 
are  let  loose  upon  us  like  a  pack  of  hounds 
on  a  deer. 

At  this  point  the  clock  on  the  mantel 
struck  twelve,  a  very  late  hour  for  the 
woods.  The  fire  had  gone  out,  and  only 
a  few  charred  bits  remained,  which  gave 
a  fitful  blaze,  as  though  they  had  grown 
weary. 


MISTAKES   IX  MARRIAGE.  l'*J 

Leo  roused  himself,  yawned,  and  seemed 
to  wonder  what  had  kept  me  up  so  far 
into  the  night. 

I  had,  however,  only  half  finished  my 
task.  But  there  will  be  other  chapters  to 
this  little  book,  and  perhaps  I  shall  take 
the  subject  up  again.  So  I  said  good 
night  to  the  world  and  lay  down  on  my 
hemlock-boughs. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

MY   LOST   MARGARET. 

SOMETHING  happened  yesterday  which 
affected  me  very  strangely. 

Before  I  left  New  York  I  arranged  to 
have  my  letters  and  papers  sent  to  the 
village  on  the  edge  of  which  I  took  canoe 
for  the  camp. 

Of  course  I  had  closed  up  all  my  busi 
ness  affairs,  for  in  case  of  accident  I  like 
to  feel  that  my  heirs  will  have  as  little 
trouble  as  possible.  There  is  no  reason 
why  a  man  should  not  go  out  of  the  world 
carrying  with  him  a  complete  set  of  clear 
ance  papers,  and  I  take  great  pride  in  the 
fact  that  when  I  join  "  the  innumerable 

130 


.1/1     LOST  MAKGAUET.  131 

caravan"  no  expert  accountant  will  be 
needed  to  straighten  out  my  books.  Be 
fore  I  started  for  tins  place,  therefore,  I 
paid  every  bill,  and  now  have  the  plea 
sant  consciousness  Iliat  no  man  can  say  I 
owe  him  a  dollar.  The  last  thing  I  did 
was  to  make  my  will  and  deposit  it  in 
the  vault  of  my  bank,  with  directions  on 
the  envelope  as  to  whom  it  is  to  be  de 
livered  if  I  chance  to  go  to  heaven  by 
way  of  the  woods  rather  than  of  the  city. 

It  is  a  comfort  to  feel  that  no  one  will 
be  harassed  and  fretted  on  my  account. 
I  shall  step  into  the  shadow  with  an  easy 
mind  ;  and  if  on  my  way  to  the  stars  I  am 
permitted  to  look  back  I  may  perhaps  see 
my  heirs  and  assigns  in  a  furious  quarrel 
over  the  few  thousands  of  which  I  stand 
seized  and  possessed;  but  they  will  not 
have  the  satisfaction  of  calling  me  an  old 
fool  for  leaving  my  business  matters  in 
a  tangle. 

Some  of  my  friends  promised  to  write 


132  BKUl\\X   S'l'l'DIEX. 

two  or  three  times  during-  the  winter,  and 
I  was  sure  there  must  be  at  least  a  bushel 
of  newspapers  awaiting  my  order.  "So 
five  days  ago — that  was  Tuesday — I 
packed  John  off  for  letters,  papers,  and 
whatever  additional  provisions  we  might 
need  during  the  long  spell  of  cold  weather 
that  may  set  in  at  any  time.  The  lake 
and  streams  are  still  open,  but  cannot  re 
main  so  much  longer.  This  was  my  last 
chance  to  communicate  with  the  outside 
barbarians  who  delude  themselves  with 
the  idea  that  they  are  civilized  and  that  I 
am  a  savage  ;  and  John  was  not  unwilling 
to  take  the  trip. 

He  got  back  yesterday  afternoon — that 
is  to  say,  on  Saturday. 

There  was  one  very  amusing  letter  from 
an  old  chum  of  mine — a  member  of  the 
Stock  Exchange — full  of  dry  humor,  and 
reminding  me  that  it  was  not  necessary 
to  go  into  the  Adirondacks  to  find  wild 
animals,  for  Wall  Street  is  full  of  them. 


MY   LOST  MARGARET.  133 

Ho  gave  me  a  quantity  of  gossip — by  the 
way,  how  tame  and  insipid  gossip  seems 
when  one  is  living  a  real  life  in  intimate 
relations  with  the  mysteries  and  grandeur 
of  nature  !• — and  ended  by  hoping  that  if 
it  was  to  be  my  fate  to  furnish  a  banquet 
for  a  bear,  I  might  agree  with  him — that 
is,  with  the  bear — and  not  cost  him — that 
is,  the  bear — a  fit  of  indigestion. 

There  was  also  a  letter  from  a  melan 
cholic,  grumpy,  cynical  old,society  man, 
who  is  a  good  deal  like  a  chestnut  in 
its  bnrr.  The  outside  will  sting  yon  as 
though  it  took  pleasure  in  doing  so,  while, 
if  yon  have  patience  to  work  your  way  to 
the  fruit  inside,  yon  will  be  amply  repaid 
for  your  pains.  He  took  a  fancy  to  me 
years  ago — why.  I  never  could  divine,  but 
possibly  because  I  have  always  been  at 
tractive  to  cranks — and  has  steadfastly 
remained  my  friend  ever  since.  His 
epistle  resembled  a  mustard-pot,  for  every 
taste  bit  the  tongue  in  a  fresh  place. 


134  BROWX  STUDIES. 

One  youngster,  lie  wrote,  had  gone  to 
Europe  for  his  health,  which  was  another 
way  of  saying  that  he  had  been  unmerci 
fully  jilted  and  wanted  to  get  out  of  the 
way  for  a  time,  until  the  sneers  and  jeers 
of  his  set  had  been  wafted  into  oblivion. 
Another  youngster  had  married  a  couple 
of  millions  plus  a  rather  good-looking- 
girl.  Maud  Mercer  had  attended  her  first 
ball  in  Xo.  2  slippers  and  a  shocking!}' 
decollete  dress,  and  old  Badger,  cftut. 
seventy-seven,  had  been  placed  under  a 
monument  which  cost  twelve  thousand 
dollars.  The  funeral  services  were  sol 
emn,  and  the  clergyman  told  the  usual 
assortment  of  falsehoods  in  order  to  com 
fort  the  young  widow,  who  would  very 
soon  find  comfort  in  another  way. 

Curiously  enough,  these  two  letters 
grated  on  my  feelings.  They  seemed  so 
out  of  harmony  with  my  surroundings. 
The  lake  and  the  woods,  the  sky  and  the 
stars,  had  been  talking  to  me  for  sixty 


.)/)'    LOST  MARGARET.  135 

days  in  the  language  of  repose,  and  here 
came  an  echo  from  the  din  and  hubbub 
of  a  crowd  of  match-makers  and  dollar- 
makers  and  fashion-worshipers.  I  felt  as 
I  should  if  a  false  note  were  sounded  as 
I  listened  to  an  orchestra,  or  as  a  lover 
would  if  the  dear  one  to  wjiom  he  was 
offering  heart  and  hand  should  reject 
him  in  the  slang  of  low  life.  What  the 
woods  had  been  telling  me  was  so  differ 
ent  from  this  tattle  of  so-called  high  life 
that  the  letters  seemed  filled  with  a  kind 
of  vulgarity  ;  and  so,  without  thinking  of 
what  I  did,  I  tore  them  up  and  threw 
them  into  the  fire. 

The  third  letter  was  from  my  cousin 
Cora,  who,  as  I  have  told  you,  lives  in 
Florida,  within  three  miles  of  that  orange 
grove  where  She  dwells.  I  sat  for  some 
time  without  opening  the  envelope,  in  a 
brown  study.  Every  minute  detail  of  my 
courtship,  from  my  first  hope  to  my  last 
disappointment,  came  vividly  to  mind. 


13G  URDU'S   STUDIES. 

and  I  found  myself  reciting  to  Leo  and 
the  flames  in  the  fireplace  a  poem  of 
which  I  was  once  guilty.  It  expressed 
my  feelings  at  the  time,  and  the  ten  years 
that  have  since  passed  have  not  changed 
them.  It  ran  somewhat  in  this  wise : 

Only  one  face  in  all  the  world  for  mo, 

Though  I  am  told  there's  beauty  everywhere  : 
It  may  be  so  ;  I  neither  know  nor  care, 

For  that  one  face  is  all  that  I  can  see. 

There  is  one  smile  so  fills  this  heart  of  mine 
I  need  no  sunshine  on  the  path  I  tread. 
Beneath  its  sweet  enticement,  fear  and  dread 

Are  changed  to  hope  by  alchemy  divine. 

A  laggard  was  I  till  I  saw  that  face ; 

I  had  no  goal  until  I  saw  that  smile ; 

But  now  I  run.  and  spurn  each  conqiiered  mile, 
For  high  ambition  drives  me  on  apace. 

Though  all  unworthy  I  may  seem  to  be, 

Yet  give  me  more,  nay,  dear  one,  give  me  all ; 
Without  uplifting  strength  I  fear  to  fall. 

For  what  T  am,  I  am  through  love  of  thee. 

I  don't  know  that  it  has  any  merit  as 
a  literary  composition,  neither  do  I  much 
care.  I  told  the  truth  as  faithfully  as  a 


MY  LOST  MARGARET.  137 

mirror  reflects  a  man's  face,  and  the  smile 
with  which  she  thanked  me  after  reading 
it  has  been  a  kind  of  rainbow  in  my  sky 
ever  since. 

At  last  I  opened  the  letter  and  read  as 
follows : 

"  DEAR  CLARENCE  :  The  autumn  has 
been  specially  beautiful  in  this  region,  and 
I  wish  you  were  with  us,  for  I  am  sure 
you  would  find  more  enjoyment  than  that 
horrid  solitude  and  the  ice  and  snows  and 
dripping  woods  of  the  Adirondack^  can 
furnish." 

Then  followed  some  personal  matters 
in  Avhich  you  would  take  little  interest. 
But  at  the  end  were  these  paragraphs : 

li  By  the  way,  Clarence,  I  am  sorry  to 
say  that  Edward  Randall  is  in  a  very  pre 
carious  condition.  I  drove  over  to  their 
grove  day  before  yesterday,  and  found 
Margaret  in  a  state  of  mind.  I  tell  you 
privately  that  that  woman  is  not  happy. 
There  is  a  dragged  look  in  her  face,  and 


138  BROWS  STUDIES. 

she  has  become  hollow-cheeked  and  sunk 
en-eyed.  She  is  not  like  her  old  self  at 
all,  and  vet  a  truer  wife  never  lived.  I 
can't  quite  say  whether  she  ever  loved— 
I  mean  really  loved — Edward  or  not. 
That  is  a  puzzle  which  I  don't  pretend  to 
guess.  But  she  is  untiring  in  her  atten 
tion  to  his  every  wish,  and  seems  to  find 
her  own  happiness  in  making  him  happy. 

"I  am  afraid,  however,  that  there's 
trouble  in  store  for  them.  The  doctor, 
whom  I  saw  on  my  way  home,  seemed  to 
think  that  Edward  might  pull  through ; 
but  he  added  that  the  poor  felloAv  had 
very  little  reserve  power,  and  nobody 
could  tell  what  might  happen. 

"I  judge  that  they  are  pinched.  The 
crop  was  poor  last  year,  and  as  that  is  all 
they  have  to  depend  on,  they  must  be 
somewhat  anxious  about  their  future.1' 

I  read  that  letter  twice1,  and  then  slowly 
the  third  time.  Standing1  in  front  of  the 


MY  LOST  MARGARET.  139 

lire,  my  eyes  filled  with  tears  while  the 
past  slowly  recalled  itself.  My  own  life 
luid  been  broken,  but  what  of  hers?  A 
man.  can  endure  anything,  but  a  woman 
— well,  I  don't  know. 

For  a  full  half-hour  I  stood  still  and 
pondered.  My  first  thought  was  to  send 
a  check  to  my  cousin  that  the  little  house 
hold  might  be  kept  together.  "  "What  do 
I  want  of  money  if  She  is  suffering  from 
need  of  it  ? "  I  asked  m y sol f .  The  thought 
that  she  was  weary  with  much  watching; 
that  she  could  not  command  the  comforts 
of  life,  was  excruciating.  True,  she  was 
not  my  wife  •  true,  we  had  parted  in  anger, 
but  what  of  it?  My  love  was  not  dead, 
and  could  not  die.  I  had  tried  again  and 
again  to  forget  her,  but  love  is  such  a 
mysterious  thing,  and  so  mighty  and  so 
subtle,  possibly  so  unreasoning,  that  in 
spite  of  all  I  was  at  her  service  with  all  I 
possessed. 

Pie  is  sick  and  she  is  tired !     Then  I 


140  BROWy  STT DIES. 

groaned  in  spirit,  for  to  be  a  thousand 
miles  away  at  such  a  time  is  an  unendur 
able  hardship.  Would  that  I  might  an 
nihilate  space  and  time  and,  by  simply 
wishing,  transport  myself  to  that  sorrow 
ing  home  to  offer  my  help  and  my  sym 
pathy  to  both. 

What  happiness  to  knock  at  the  door, 
to  enter  that  sick-chamber  and  say, "  Here 
I  am,  and  I  am  going  to  stand  by  you. 
Be  happy.  Get  well,  Edward.  Enjoy  the 
years  to  come  around  this  hearthstone. 
I  have  but  little,  but  that  little  is  yours. 
The  wolf  shall  be  kept  away.  There  are 
anxieties  enough  without  being  anxious  for 
food  and  the  money  to  pay  the  rent  withal." 

Ah,  I  thought,  if  I  could  only  do  that ! 
Would  I  were  such  a  magician  ! 

I  looked  out  of  the  window.  Darkness 
everywhere.  I  looked  into  my  own  soul. 
Darkness  there,  also ;  withered  years,  as 
pirations,  ambitions.  I  was  like  a  tree 
that  had  put  forth  blossoms  and  then 


.yi    LOW  MARGAI'ET.  141 

been  touched  by  a  nipping  frost.  I  was 
u  worthless  human  creature,  a  kind  of 
arrested  development ;  my  past  a  tragedy, 
my  future  hopeless.  I  leaned  against  the 
mantel,  the  letter  in  my  left  hand,  while 
these  crushing  memories  overwhelmed  me 
like  an  avalanche. 

"The  doctor" — so  my  cousin  wrote— 
"  seemed  to  think  that  Edward  might  pull 
through ;  but — 

Then  I  turned  pale  and  trembled.  Sup 
pose  he  should  not  pull  through?  If  he 
were  to  die,  what  then  ?  My  strength 
failed  me,  and  I  sank  into  a  chair.  Leo 
came  to  my  side,  looked  into  my  face  in 
quiringly,  then  laid  his  dear  head  on  my 
knee  in  sympathy. 

"  Ah  !  Leo,"  I  cried,  in  anguish,  "  this  is 
a  bitter  world,  a  strange  world." 

What  imaginings  came  to  me  !  If  the 
sick  man  should  fulfil  the  prophecy  of 
the  doctor,  then  she  would  once  more  be 
free  !  And  I  ? 


142  BROWN  STUDIES. 

Does  any  remnant  of  the  old  love  re 
main  in  her  heart  ?  Does  she  ever  think 
of  me,  or  have  I  been  obliterated  by  the 
passage  of  time  ? 

And  if  she  has  the  embers  of  that  love, 
could  I  fan  them  into  a  new  flame,  and 
even  at  this  late  hour  hold  her  to  my 
heart  as  my  wife  ? 

These  unworthy  and  ignoble  thoughts 
seized  me,  but  they  held  me  only  for  an 
instant,  u  My  God  !"  I  cried,  "  what  am  I 
saying  ? "  and  I  paced  the  floor  like  a  mad 
man.  "  To  use  another  man's  misfortune 
for  my  own  benefit !  What  devil  put  the 
suggestion  into  my  mind  ? " 

I  was  indignant,  even  furious,  with 
myself.  I  hated  myself,  despised  myself, 
and  condemned  my  conduct  with  oppro 
brious  epithets  which  made  Leo  wonder. 

I  think  that  in  some  way  he  got  an  ink 
ling  of  my  cowardice  and  shared  my  own 
opinion  of  it,  for  he  walked  slowly  away 


MY   LOST  MA  lid  A  RET.  143 

from  me,  lay  down  in  a  corner,  and  uttered 
a  growl. 

••  Even  the  dog1  despises  me,"  I  said, 
''  and  well  he  may.''  I  am  sure  I  never 
passed  such  an  hour  as  that  which  fol 
lowed  these  impious  thoughts ;  no,  not  in 
all  my  life.  I  seemed  to  dwindle  in  stat 
ure  ;  felt  myself  shrinking  into  a  hideous 
dwarf  with  a  hump  between  his  shoulders, 
a  creature  that  needed  only  to  he  seen  to 
he  loathed. 

I  could  stand  the  strain  no  longer,  for 
I  was  choking,  and  my  heart  thumped 
against  my  ribs  with  the  force  of  a  black 
smith's  sledge.  So  I  rushed  out  of  doors 
into  the  accusing  night,  to  ask  the  for 
giveness  of  God  and  make  my  peace  with 
nature.  The  canoe  was  at  the  landing, 
and  in  my  desperation  I  leaped  into  it 
and  rowed  far  away  toward  the  middle  of 
the  lake. 

Perhaps  the  physical  exertion  helped  to 


144  BROWN  STUDIES. 

calm  me.  At  any  rate,  I  soon  regained 
partial  control  of  myself. 

Such  a  night  that  was  !  The  moon  was 
gone,  but  I  hardly  missed  her,  for  the 
myriad  stars  shone  with  unwonted  luster, 
and  the  Milky  Wav  lav  athwart  the  hea- 

*/  •/  v 

yens  like  a  vast  bank  of  phosphorescent 
snow. 

The  sky  seemed  to  bend  over  me  in  a 
motherly  and  pitying  sort  of  way,  and 
nature,  I  am  sure,  understood  my  secret 
and  sympathized  with  my  mental  distress. 
At  ail}'  rate,  as  I  lay  on  my  oars  and 
watched  the  deep  shadows  of  the  hills  on 
either  side  of  the  lake,  I  could  feel  the 
velvet  touch  of  unseen  hands  on  my  fore 
head,  as  though  trying  to  soothe  my  per 
turbed  soul. 

I  was  all  alone,  and  yet  in  the  most 
friendly  company.  The  evil  thoughts 
and  horrid  imaginings  which  had  peopled 
my  brain  like  a  crowd  of  brutal  roughs 
had  silently  taken  their  departure,  and 


MY  LOST  MA  EG  A  RET.  145 

left  me  to  the  sweet  influences  of  the 
scenery  around  and  above  me.  I  felt 
that  I  could  not  be  vile  in  such  an  envi 
ronment.  That  rush  of  selfishness  which 
for  a  time  made?  me  half  rejoice  in  the 
misfortune  that  had  befallen  Her  home, 
forget  the  strange  malady  which  was 
dragging  Her  dear  one  down  to  the  grave 
day  by  day,  and  think  only  of  the  possible 
realization  of  the  dream  of  my  youth, 
bought  at  so  terrible  a  price  of  tears  and 
sorrow — all  that  left  me,  and  I  shuddered 
at  the  thought  of  my  utter  unworthiness 
and  baseness.  Xever  before  have  I  so 
hated  myself,  for  never  before  have  I  so 
fallen  in  my  own  respect  and  sense  of 
honor. 

I  have  always  loved  the  stars,  and  can 
call  many  of  them  by  name.  They  are 
steadfast  friends  who  never  fail  you?  and 
on  that  awful  night  they  did  me  a  kindly 
service  which  I  shall  not  forget.  Had 
each  one  of  them  been  a  Avhite-robed 


146  BROWX  STUDIES. 

angel  whispering  words  of  comfort  into 
my  ears,  they  could  not  have  ministered 
more  effectually  to  my  troubled  heart. 

Far  away  in  the  north,  and  just  above 
the  horizon-line,  was  Vega,  one  of  the 
most  beautiful  of  heavenly  objects,  "a 
vigorous  light  that  darts  surprising  rays." 
I  do  not  wonder  that  the  ancients  chris 
tened  this  constellation  Lyra,  and  tried  to 
make  themselves  believe  that  it  resembled 
the  lyre  which  Apollo  gave  to  Orpheus, 
on  which  he  played  with  such  subtle  skill 
that  even  the  rivers  ceased  to  flow,  lest 
the  rippling  of  their  waters  might  inter 
fere  with  the  divine  music. 

Then,  when  my  eyes  followed  one  of 
the  great  circles,  I  saw  that  exquisite 
group  of  stars,  the  Swan,  with  the  little 
Dolphin  just  to  the  westward,  and  the 
magnificent  square  of  Pegasus,  with  Cas 
siopeia  overhead  and  Andromeda  lying  at 
full  length  to  the  south. 

Farther  toward  the  east  was  a  most 


MY   LOST  MARGARET.  147 

enchanting'  spectacle,  and  one  that  I  never 
look  at  without  being  strangely  im 
pressed  :  Algol,  like  a  torch  in  a  giant's 
uplifted  hand,  mild-featured  Capellu,  the 
rival  of  Vega,  with  the  Pleiades  in  near 
vicinity,  and  that  lighthouse  on  some 
rocky  point  of  space,  fiery  Aldebaran. 

But  great  Orion  was  well  above  the 
horizon  at  nine  o'clock  on  this  12th  of 
December,  and  when  he  makes  his  ap 
pearance  nothing  else  seems  worthy  of 
attention.  There  is  a,  certain  grandeur 
in  that  assembly  of  celestial  orbs  which 
has  excited  the  wonder  of  the  learned 
and  the  superstition  of  the  ignorant  since 
those  early  days  when  thoughtful  shep 
herds  watched  their  flocks  by  night  and 
formulated  .some  rudiments  of  astronomy. 
On  the  upper  left  is  Beltiguese,  and  on 
the  lower  right  is  Rigel,  two  huge  bon 
fires  which  seem  to  light  up  the  heavens 
as  though  they  were  new  signals  of  some 
great  battle  that  has  been  fought  and 


148  BROWX  STUDIES. 

won.  Between  them  are  the  three  stars 
which  form  Orion's  belt,  and  just  beneath 
it — not  visible  to  the  naked  eye,  but  fairly 
seen  through  a  good  field-glass — is  that 
marvelous  nebula,  that  cloud  of  star-dust 
floating  in  space,  which  not  even  the 
mightiest  telescopes  can  resolve  into  sepa 
rate  particles  of  light. 

This  was  the  glorious  company  in 
which  I  found  myself  on  that  winter 
night.  Each  star  was  a  member  of  the 
great  Parliament  of  Nature ;  and  such 
was  the  influence  of  the  august  gathering 
that  my  cheeks  burned  with  shame  at  the 
petty  meanness  in  which  I  had  indulged. 
These  stars,  so  imperial  in  their  splendor, 
were  the  House  of  Lords  in  the  kingdom 
over  which  the  Almighty  is  ruler. 

For  two  hours  I  sat  in  that  boat  in  the 
middle  of  that  lake ;  and  when  at  last  I 
became  chilled  and  numb  I  rowed  back 
to  the  camp  with  a  new  heart  in  my 
bosom. 


.»/}'    LOST   MAliGAKET.  1-49 

I  felt  that  I  was  less  than  nothing'; 
that  so  far  as  I  had  any  authority  at  all 
I  must  use  it  without  regard  to  my  own 
happiness  or  advantage ;  that  selfishness 
is  debasing  and  ignoble. 

T  honestly  believe  that,  for  the  time 
being  at  least,  I  forgot  all  about  myself, 
and  thought  pityingly  of  that  hearth 
stone  amid  the  orange-trees,  where  my 
successful  rival  was  slowly  giving  up  his 
hold  on  life,  and  where  the  woman  who 
still  held  my  heart  in  her  hand,  but  was 
not  conscious  of  that  fact,  walked  with 
slippered  feet,  lest  she  might  disturb  the 
slumber  of  the  sufferer,  and  was  perhaps 
at  that  moment  tearfully  pleading  with 
the  Lord  to  spare  her  the  bereavement 
which  might  befall  at  any  moment. 

When  I  reached  home  I  was  met  at  the 
door  by  Leo,  who  had  evidently  been 
wondering  why  I  had  absented  myself. 
First  of  all,  in  the  hope  of  washing  away 
the  sin  T  had  committed,  I  knelt  and 


150  WiOll'X   1ST  L' DIES. 

prayed  for  Her,  that  she  might  not  need 
to  drink  the  bitter  cup  of  sorrow;  and 
then  for  him,  her  husband,  that  he  might 
live  and  be  happy  in  the  love  of  his  wife. 

Yes,  I  sighed  as  I  rose  from  my  knees, 
but  not  from  regret  for  the  words  I  had 
spoken.  I  sighed,  for  it  seemed  as  though 
(4od  had  already  answered  my  petition 
and  left  me  to  go  on  to  old  age  alone. 
And  yet,  though  sighing,  I  was  proud  of 
my  victor}'  over  myself,  proud  that  I  had 
learned  the  lesson  taught  by  the  stars, 
proud  that  I  had  a  degree  of  true  manli 
ness  which  needed  only  to  be  developed. 

It  may  seem  strange  to  you,  but  when 
I  voluntarily  renounced  the  hope  which 
I  had  suddenly  entertained,  and  deter 
mined  to  provide  for  that  stricken  house 
hold  even  if  it  took  the  last  remnant  of 
my  slender  fortune,  I  was  filled  with  a 
serene  contentment,  a  quiet  kind  of  hap 
piness  which  was  worth  a  thousand  times 
the  sacrifice  that  I  was  willing  to  make. 


j/i"  LOST  M Ami  A  i: in:  1.31 

I  threw  a  couple  of  pine  logs  on  the 
glowing  embers,  sat  for  another  hour  in 
serene  and  pleasant  contemplation,  then 
crawled  into  my  corner  and  fell  into  the 
sweetest  sleep  I  have  had  for  many  a  long 
day. 

I  can  now  recall  that  my  last  words 
were,  i-She  shall  not  suffer  want,  and  he 
shall  have  the  best  medical  skill  that 
money  can  command.  God  bless  them 
both." 


CHAPTER  VII. 

A   MAX'S   WORLD. 

THE  winter  has  been  a  remarkably 
open  one  until  a  fortnight  ago — that  is, 
the  1st  of  January.  I  took  long  trips  on 
the  lake,  with  Leo  for  my  sole  companion, 
and  flatter  myself  that  I  have  become  a 
skilled  oarsman ;  but  a  sudden  change  in 
the  weather  put  a  stop  to  my  pleasure,  or, 
rather,  gave  me  a  different  kind  of  plea 
sure  in  which  to  indulge. 

The  mercury,  at  the  time  I  speak  of, 
dropped  to  zero,  and  the  air  cut  my  cheeks 
as  though  it  were  filled  with  pounded  glass. 
For  two  days  the  mercury  held  its  own, 
and  then,  in  a  moment  of  caprice,  fell  to 

152 


A    MAX'S    WOULD.  153 

ten  degrees  below.  While  I  was  in  the 
woods  it  was  necessary  to  strike  a  rapid 
gait  to  keep  myself  from  turning  into  an 
icicle;  and  when  I  was  in  my  sitting- 
room,  with  a  roaring  fire,  I  was  roasted 
on  one  side  and  half  frozen  on  the  other. 
But  I  was  greatly  exhilarated,  and  ex 
ceedingly  enjoyed  being  alive. 

The  lake  had  a  thick  covering  of  ice 
which  seemed  like  a  mirror  for  the  sun 
by  day  and  the  full  moon  and  stars  by 
night. 

Sim,  who  is  an  inventive  sort  of  crea 
ture — a  fellow  of  infinite  resources — saw 
me  standing  on  the  shore  one  morning, 
and  asked  if  I  would  like  to  take  a  sail. 

1  naturally  supposed  he  was  joking, 
and  asked  him,  what  he  proposed  to  do 
with  the  ice. 

"  I  mean  a  sail  on  the  ice,"  he  replied. 
u  Have  you  never  been  on  an  ice-boat, 
sir  ? '' 

On  answering  him  with  a  shake  of  the 


154  BHOWX  STUDIES. 

head,  he  remarked,  i-  Then  I'll  give  you  a 
new  sensation,  sir." 

In  a  few  hours  he  had  made  and  rigged 
a  very  picturesque  contrivance.  The  run 
ners  were  some  skates  which  we  had 
brought  with  us,  and  the  sail  was  a  huge 
horse-blanket. 

That  afternoon  Leo  and  I  went  on  our 
first  voyage  of  discovery.  I  am  an  old 
yachtsman,  and  have  a  pretty  fair  know 
ledge  of  all  sorts  of  craft,  but  this  ice 
boat  gave  me  a  good  many  surprises. 
Leo  sat  011  his  haunches  at  my  side,  and 
looked  at  me  as  though  to  say,  "I  don't 
quite  see  how  we  are  to  come  out  of  this 
affair  alive :  but  a  St.  Bernard  knows  how 
to  die  with  his  master,  if  need  be,  and  so 
look  after  yourself,  and  I  will  hold  on  if 
'I  can." 

When  we  got  off,  the  wind  blew  gently 
and  steadily  for  a  while,  which  was  lucky, 
since  it  gave  me  a  chance  to  get  used  to 
mv  vacht :  and  I  don't  think  I  ever  en- 


A    J/J.V.S    WORLD.  155 

joyed  anything1  more.  But  when  we 
reached  Tala  Point,  about  a  mile  from 
the  camp,  there  came  a  squall  down  the 
mountain-side,  and  for  a  few  minutes  I 
was  a  good  deal  excited.  The  craft 
struck  the  pace  of  a  whirlwind,  and  the 
runners  glided  over  the  ice  with  the 
sound  of  fairy  music.  I  held  the  tiller 
in  one  hand,  the  main-sheet  in  the  other, 
and  actually  screamed  with  ecstasy.  But 
soon  the  wind  changed  to  a  mere  puff 
again,  and  \ve  jogged  along  at  the  insig 
nificant  rate  of  ten  or  fifteen  miles  an 
hour. 

When  I  tacked,  and  held  the  wind  on 
the  beam,  my  little  boat  tilted  at  an  angle 
of  forty-five  degrees,  and  I  had  all  I  could 
do  to  hold  my  place.  Poor  Leo  had  much 
more  than  he  could  do,  for  he  fell  off,  but 
instantly  gathered  himself  together,  and 
with  a  merry  bark — for  lie.  too,  was  ex 
cited — gave  me  chase.  He  struck  his  best 
trait ;  but  the  wind  had  freshened,  and  in 


156  BROWN  STUDIES. 

a  couple  of  minutes  he  was  so  far  behind 
that  he  looked  like  a  mere  puppy.  I 
tacked  once  more,  to  give  him  a  chance 
to  catch  up ;  but  when  he  made  a  curve  in 
order  to  reach  the  yacht  he  tumbled  and 
slid  over  the  glassy  surface  for  nearly  ten 
rods. 

When  he  took  a  seat  at  my  side  again, 
panting,  but  as  near  to  laughter  as  a  dog 
ever  comes,  he  fairly  winked  at  me,  as 
much  as  to  say,  "  That  was  a  fine  joke  on 
your  part,  wasn't  it  ?  You  tipped  me  off 
of  your  old  ice-boat  on  purpose ;  now 
don't  deny  it.  I'm  not  angry,  though,  for 
I  had  a  very  good  run,  and  feel  all  the 
better  for  it." 

We  had  this  sport  both  morning  and 
afternoon  for  three  days,  and  I  think  Leo 
enjoyed  it  as  much  as  I  did. 

On  the  4th  of  the  month  Sim  was 
standing  with  me  in  the  doorway,  and 
remarked,  sententious!}" : 

"  Storm  cominj? !  " 


A   MAX'S    WORLD.  157 

UA  storm?"  I  said.  "What  do  you 
mean  ?  The  sun  is  bright,  there  is  scarcely 
a  cloud  anywhere;  the  wind  blows  from 
the  westward,  and  there  is  every  indica 
tion  of  good  weather.  Why  do  you  think 
a  storm  is  brewing?" 

'•  Rheumatics."  he  answered.  u  Got  'em 
in  my  elbow,  and  that  elbow  never  made 
a  mistake.  Storm  sure  before  midnight, 
and  I  guess  it'll  be  snow." 

At  the  end  of  this  colloquy  I  said, 
'•Sim.  will  you  do  me  a  favor?" 

"Certainly,"  he  replied. 

••  I  want  you.  sometime,  when  it  is  con 
venient,  and  you  feel  in  the  mood,  to  tell 
me  about  the  experience  you  had  with 
the  ghost.  Am  I  asking  too  much  '.  I 
do  not  wish  to  pry  into  any  secrets,  but 
I  am  interested  in  that  sort  of  thing,  and 
rather  think  I  have  seen  one  or  two  ghosts 
myself.  If  you  have  no  objection  I  should 
like  to  have  you  tell  me  what  happened 
on  that  occasion." 


158  BROWN  STUDIES. 

Sim  hesitated,  but  at  last  replied,  "All 
right,  sir;  but  you  know  a  man  doesn't 
like  to  be  laughed  at,  or  taken  for  a  fool, 
and—" 

"  Don't  fear  anything  of  the  kind,"  T 
broke  in.  "  My  dear  fellow,  I  shall  treat 
the  subject  very  seriously,  I  assure  you, 
for  I  am  inclined  to  believe  that  spirits 
do  sometimes  linger  near  the  earth  for  a 
time,  if  they  have  any  reason  to  do  so." 

So  the  matter  was  settled. 

At  about  nine  o'clock  that  night  it 
began  to  snow.  The  flakes  \vere  at  first 
just  like  wool,  and  they  fell  with  great 
deliberation,  as  though  they  had  begun 
a  long  task  and  proposed  to  take  it 
leisurely. 

And  it  snowed  so  effectively  and  so 
generously  that  by  the  next  evening  the 
stumps  in  the  clearing  were  covered.  Then 
came  a  half-hour's  rain,  after  which  the 
mercury  took  another  drop,  and  left  every- 


A    MAX'S    WORLD.  159 

thing  with  such  a  thick  crust  that  one 
could  walk  on  it. 

It  was  a  dazzling  spectacle  which  met 
our  eyes  when  the  sun  rose  in  the  morn 
ing.  It  seemed  as  though  the  powers 
above  had  showered  diamonds  and  opals 
on  the  earth. 

John  said,  u  This  is  my  chance,  and  I 
must  be  off." 

"  Chance  for  what  ? "  I  asked. 

"  For  game." 

'•Why  so,  my  dear  fellow?" 

'•  Because  a  deer,  with  its  sharp  hoofs, 
will  cut  through  the  crust  and  get  quickly 
tired  out." 

It  seemed  to  me  a  mean  advantage  to 
take,  but  John  told  me  we  were  nearly 
out  of  fresh  meat,  and  it  was  necessary 
for  some  one  to  go  into  the  woods. 

At  about  seven  the  next  evening  Sim 
brought  in  some  splendid  hickory  logs, 
and  built  such  a  fire  as  would  have  done 


160  BROWN  STUDIES. 

you  good  to  see.  I  sat  before  it  ponder 
ing  all  sorts  of  subjects,  but  at  last  fell 
into  a  brown  study  in  which  She  figured 
conspicuously.  That  gave  way  after  a 
while,  and  then  my  thoughts  ran  as  fol 
lows  : 

The  earliest  tribute  and  the  most  deli 
cate  ever  paid  to  woman  was  offered  by 
Adam  just  before  his  expulsion  from 
Eden.  The  record  of  it  is  to  be  found  in 
a  very  greatly  misunderstood  passage  of 
Scripture. 

I  am  not  much  of  a  scholar,  and  should 
scarcely  venture  to  interpret  Scripture 
on  the  authority  of  my  own  knowledge. 
But  I  have  an  old  classmate,  John  Jessig, 
who  has  studied  these  matters  profoundly. 
He  is  settled,  I  believe,  in  a  little  village 
named  Woodbine,  and  preaches  to  a  con 
gregation  of  mill-hands. 

I  had  a  long  talk  with  him  one  day  in 
his  library,  just  after  my  great  disappoint 
ment  ;  and  being  in  somewhat  cynical 


A    MAX'S    WOULD.  1(51 

mood — for  my  wounds  were  all  fresh  at 
the  time — railed  at  the  inconstancy  and 
caprice  of  woman.  Perhaps  I  spoke  bit 
terly,  but  if  so  I  think  I  may  claim  some 
indulgence,  for  when  a  man's  life  has  been 
suddenly  crushed  you  can  hardly  expect 
him  to  bear  his  burden  graciously.  In  a 
few  months,  possibly,  his  shoulders  will 
get  used  to  the  weight  of  his  tribulation, 
but  for  a  while  he  is  in  a  chaotic  state  of 
mind,  and  neither  knows  nor  cares  what 
he  says. 

'•  It  was  a  woman/'  I  remarked,  "  who 
had  the  first  evil  thought,  and  her  caprice 
and  coquetry  have  caused  three  quarters 
of  the  world's  uuhappiness.  It  was  a 
woman  who  tempted  Adam,  and  she  has 
ever  since  been  engaged  in  the  same  kind 
of  business.  I  admit,"  I  continued,  "  that 
Adam  was  cowardly,  and — 

"Oh  no,"  Jessig  broke  in,  "he  was  not 
at  all  cowardly.  The  Lord  asked  him 
this  pertinent  question  :  '  Hast  thou  eaten 


162  B1WWN  STUDIES. 

of  the  tree,  whereof  I  commanded  thee 
that  thou  shouldest  not  eat  ? '  and  Adam's 
reply  was  memorable.  He  said,  'The 
woman  whom  Thou  gavest  to  be  with  me, 
she  gave  me  of  the  tree,  and  I  did  eat.' " 

"  "Well,"  I  said,  sharply,  '•  was  not  Adam 
a  coward  to  hide  behind  such  a  paltry  ex 
cuse  as  that  ?  Why  didn't  he  come  boldly 
to  the  front,  confess  that  he  did  eat,  and 
be  decent  enough  not  to  implicate  the 
woman?  If  he  had  been  any  sort  of  a 
man  he  would  certainly  have  done  just 
that ;  but  perhaps  you  excuse  him  on  the 
ground  that  he  was  an  experiment.  For 
my  part,  I  wish  the  experiment  had  never 
been  made.  The  world  would,  in  my 
opinion,  be  a  great  deal  better  without 
men  and  women  than  with  them.  So  far 
as  I  can  see,  they  are  about  as  close  to  a 
failure  as  Omnipotence  is  likely  to  get." 

"You  are  mistaken,"  cried  Jessig,  ''en 
tirely  mistaken.  Your  interpretation  of 
the  verse  does  injustice  to  the  incident. 


./    MAX'S    WOli 1. 1).  1(53 

Adam  was  a  good  deal  more  of  a  man 
than  you  give  him  credit  for  being*.  He 
did  not  hide  behind  the  woman,  but,  on 
the  contrary,  came  boldly  to  the  front 
with  his  defense,  and  I  think  you  will  be 
forced  to  admit  that  the  defense  was  an 
admirable  one." 

"Ah,  yes,  Jessig,  I  see  how  the  wind 
blows.  Yon  are  a  theologian,  and  there 
fore  a  special  pleader." 

'•Nothing  of  the  kind;  but  I  propose 
to  look  facts  in  the  face,  and  the  fact  is 
that  Adam  behaved  admirably  and  paid 
to  Eve  a  very  high  compliment." 

"Indeed!  "  I  said,  with  a  shrug  of  the 
shoulders. 

"Yes,  and  I  will  force  you  to  acknow 
ledge  it,"  retorted  Jessig,  with  great  ear 
nestness.  "To  paraphrase  the  passage, 
Adam  said, '  Lord,  }'ou  gave  me  this  beau 
tiful  creature  t6'be  my  companion.  I 
have  known  her  only  a  little  while,  but  it 
is  plain  that  she  is  much  wiser,  and  more 


164  BllOWS   STUDIED. 

spiritually  minded,  and  lias  finer  intui 
tions  than  I.  I  regarded  her  as  so  much 
superior  to  myself  in  every  respect  that 
when  she  plucked  the  apple  and  ate  it  I 
supposed  that  of  course  it  was  all  right ; 
and  -when  she  found  that  the  fruit  Avas 
pleasant  to  the  taste,  and  graciously  of 
fered  some  to  me,  I  took  it  without  any 
hesitation  whatever,  for  I  did  not  imagine 
for  a  moment  that  she  was  capable  of 
'doing  wrong.'" 

That  is  what  Jessig  told  me  about  the 
passage,  and  I  at  once  accepted  his  inter 
pretation. 

I  did  this  all  the  more  readily  because 
my  conviction  is  that  woman  is  nobler 
and  purer  and  truer  than  man. 

The  world  could  get  along  better  with 
out  men  than  without  women.  I  make 
that  statement  not  because  I  wish  to  be 
gallant  or  to  indulge  in  agreeable  flattery, 
but  because  I  believe  it  to  be  the  truth. 

For  the  perpetuation  of  the  race  it  is 


A    MAX'S    WORLD.  165 

necessary  that  there  should  be  two  sexes, 
though  why  it  should  be  necessary  to  per 
petuate  the  race  in  that  way  is  a  problem 
which  I  have  never  been  able  to  solve. 

Up  to  within  half  a  dozen  generations 
there  have  been  practically  nothing  but 
men  in  the  world.  They  have1  owned 
everything,  created  a  public  opinion  to 
suit  themselves,  and  relegated  woman  to 
the  kitchen  as  a  cook,  or  sent  her  into  the 
parlor,  covered  with  silks  and  diamonds, 
to  entertain  their  guests. 

And  what  kind  of  an  affair  have  they 
made  of  it?  Is  there  a  single  honest, 
municipal  government  on  the  face  of  the 
earth?  Is  business  conducted  on  the 
square  principle  of  justice  and  fair  play, 
or  is  it  a  vast  game  of  grab,  in  which  the 
strongest,  boldest,  and  most  inhuman  ac 
quires  his  millions,  while  the  poor  man 
starves  ?  Does  a  man  care  who  suffers, 
provided  the  sufferer  is  not  himself?  If 


166  BROWN  STUDIES. 

by  some  base  trickery  he  can  legally  seize 
what  belongs  to  others — a  nourishing 
trade  or  a  railroad — does  he  lose  a  night's 
sleep  because  he  sends  a  score  of  his 
fellows  into  bankruptcy  or  a  hundred 
orphan  girls  into  the  streets,  that  they 
may  save  their  bodies  by  selling  their 
souls?  Not  he. 

And  what  do  his  fellow-men  say  ?  Do 
they  denounce  him,  arrest  him,  imprison 
him,  cage  him  as  they  would  any  other 
wild  beast?  Far  from  it.  They  envy 
his  talent  tor  deviltry,  and  thousands  of 
youngsters  try  to  walk  in  his  footsteps 
and  play  the  same  tricks. 

If  a  wretch  of  this  kind  loses  his  money 
lie  is  kicked ;  but  if  he  keeps  hold  of  it 
his  crimes  are  condoned,  and  the  best 
man  in  the  city  is  proud  to  walk  along 
the  avenue  with  him  arm  in  arm.  When 
he  goes  to  church  does  the  clergyman, 
who  is  thoroughly  acquainted  with  his 
career,  lash  him  with  the  fury  of  his  elo- 


.1    JLLV.S    WOULD.  167 

quence,  and  denounce  him  as  an  impostor 
and  a  humbug?  On  the  contrary,  he  is 
careful  not  to  offend  him  by  word  or 
phrase  ;  and  as  for  the  possibility  of  hell, 
the  minister  closes  the  trap-door  and 
stands  on  it  until  the  rich  man  has  passed 
by. 

Oh  yes,  it  is  a  man's  world,  and  woman 
lias  had  mig'hty  little  to  do  with  it  so  far. 
But  wherever  she  has  been  allowed  to 
make  her  appearance  she  has  exerted  a 
refining  influence.  When  English  litera 
ture  was  written  for  men  only  it  was 
coarse  and  obscene;  but  when  women 
beiran  to  read  books  the  obscenity  was 
obliterated  and  the  coarseness  was  modi- 
lied. 

If  there  were  no  women  men  would 
very  quickly  become  brutal.  Xo  com 
pany  of  males  can  g-et  together  without 
induli>'in<;  in  talk  which  would  not  be 
tolerated  at  their  family  dinner-tables. 
The  men  whom  you  know,  who  would  be 


168  SROirX  STUDIES. 

disgusted  at  a  story  full  of  base  insinua 
tions,  can  be  counted  on  the  lingers  of 
your  two  hands  ;  while  the  men  who  roar 
at  witty  nastiness  are  to  be  found  every 
where  in  dress  suits.  When  they  go  into 
the  society  of  the  other  sex  they  simply 
suppress  these  peculiarities  for  the  time 
being,  and  force  themselves  to  a  degree 
of  gallantry  which  is  not  natural  to  them. 
They  will  carry  the  conversation  as  far 
toward  forbidden  topics  as  they  dare  to, 
and  overstep  the  limit  unless  they  are  dis 
couraged  by  the  woman's  more  modest 
nature. 

But  if  there  were  no  men  women  would 
make  a  far  better  world  than  this  one. 
They  could  get  along  a  great  deal  easier 
without  us  than  we  could  without  them. 
They  would  make  their  mistakes,  of  course, 
but  they  would  be  the  mistakes  of  essen 
tially  pure  natures,  not  those  of  creatures 
with  brutal  tendencies. 


A    MAX'S    WOULD.  169 

If  the  Lord  had  peopled  two  rival 
planets,  one  with  men  alone  and  the  other 
with  women  alone,  there  is  very  little 
doubt  that  at  the  end  of  ten  thousand 
years  no  one  from  the  man's  planet  would 
be  allowed  to  intrude  upon  the  woman's 
planet,  because  he  would  be  considered 
u  demoralizing1  element ;  but  if  one  of  the 
inhabitants  of  the  woman's  planet  should 
visit  the  man's  planet  she  would  be  wel- 
eomed  with  triumphal  processions  as  a 
superior  being1. 

Perhaps  this  experiment  has  been  tried 
somewhere  in  the  universe,  and  it  may 
be  that  the  perpetuation  of  the  race  is 
provided  for  in  some  more  elevating1  way 
than  obtains  with  us.  If  that  be  so,  then, 
\vhen  \ve  g~et  rid  of  our  bodies  and  can 
travel  with  the  speed  of  lig-ht  from  con 
stellation  to  constellation,  Ave  may  pay 
these  planets  a  visit,  and  discover  that 
life  on  this  earth  is  an  extremelv  rudi- 


170  JlliOlt'X  STUDIES. 

mentary  affair,  not  much  better,  in  many 
respects,  than  that  of  the  wild  beasts  that 
roam  our  forests. 

I  put  a  couple  of  fresh  logs  on  the  fire 
and  resumed  my  brown  study. 

Just  look  at  the  course  of  events  and 
see  how  this  idea  of  masculine  superiority 
came  about,  and  why,  in  all  the  earlier 
ages,  woman  had  standing-room  only. 

The  first  business  of  mankind  in  the 
olden  time  was  fighting.  Brawn,  not 
brains,  was  at  the  beginning  of  things. 
That  man  was  made  in  the  image  of  his 
Creator  was  by  no  means  manifest.  On 
the  contrary,  brutality  prevailed,  and  the 
only  difference  between  a  man  and  a  tiger 
was  that  the  man  could  outwit  the  tiger. 
Might  was  right,  and  its  symbol  was  a 
stone  arrow-head  with  a  drop  of  poison 
on  its  tip.  Killing  was  the  universal 
trade.  It  was  a  gory  time,  and  women, 
simply  because  they  could  not  bear  the 


A    MAX'S    WORLD.  171 

brunt  of  war  as  tlieir  brothers  and  hus 
bands  could,  were  sent  to  the  rear.  Tlieir 
only  mission  was  to  gratify  the  passions 
of  warriors,  and  see  that  they  had  enough 
to  cat.  The  men  made  public  opinion  to 
suit  themselves,  and  regarded  conjugal  in 
fidelity  as  an  honor  rather  than  a  shame  ; 
whereas,  if  a  woman  was  audacious  enough 
to  sin  in  the  same  way,  she  was  tortured 
to  death  as  a  warning. 

When  brains  began  to  come  into  vogue, 
however,  it  Avas  discovered  that  she  was 
richly  endowed.  That  was  a  great  sur 
prise,  but  still  the  lord  of  creation  held 
his  own,  arguing  that  a  woman's  sphere 
is  limited  to  her  home,  and  that  she  un- 
sexes  herself  when  she  asserts  her  right 
to  exercise  her  talents  in  any  direction. 
She  was  sneered  at  and  jeered  ;it,  and  the 
sneering  and  jeering  was  called  conser 
vatism. 

Woman  has  never  yet,  even  in  this 
nineteenth  century,  been  allowed  to  do 


172  BEOWN  STUDIES. 

herself  justice.  Nobody  knows  what  she 
is  capable  of,  for  she  is  an  undeveloped 
creature,  with  large  possibilities  which  are 
curbed  and  checked  by  the  fossiliferous 
notions  of  man. 

He  has  had  full  opportunity  to  show 
his  mettle,  and  every  incentive  to  do  his 
utmost,  his  bravest,  his  noblest,  and  his 
best. 

That  opportunity  lias  never  yet  fallen 
to  her  lot,  and  what  she  lias  achieved  has 
been  in  spite  of  all  the  restrictions  which 
the  coarser  sex  could  conceive  of  and 
apply. 

She  is  the  unsolved  problem  in  our  his 
toric  career,  the  unguessed  puzzle  of  the 
ages ;  but  when  she  wins  her  victory,  and 
takes  her  place  as  one  of  the  owners  of 
the  world,  with  a  right  to  command  as 
well  as  to  obey,  to  make  her  voice  heard 
in  legislation,  and  her  opposition  to  cor 
rupt  practices  felt,  there  will  be  some  start 
ling  chancres,  all  of  them  for  the  better. 


A    MAN'S    WOULD.  173 

Xow  that  I  am  considering  this  topic  I 
should  like  to  free  my  mind  on  one  or 
t\vo  other  matters,  and  then  perhaps  I 
shall  sleep  with  an  easy  conscience. 

Suppose  I  make  the  assertion  that 
nearly  all  girls  are  pure-minded  and 
nearly  all  boys  are  far  otherwise.  Sup 
pose  I  indulge  my  rashness  and  declare, 
still  further,  that  it  is  an  intolerable 
shame  for  a  girl  to  have  impure  thoughts 
or  indulge  in  impure  practices,  but  in  a 
boy  they  are  taken  as  a  matter  of  course 
and  considered  an  evidence  of  manliness. 

I  am  not  cynical  when  I  make  these 
statements,  but  simply  tell  a  truth  which 
everybody  knows  and  nobody  speaks  of. 

With  what  tender  care  and  constant 
watchfulness  we  guard  girlhood  !  Not  a 
breath  of  suspicion  must  attach  to  her 
name ;  not  even  a  rumor  must  float  in  the 
air.  She  is  to  be  kept  in  ignorance  of 
the  wicked  ways  of  the  world,  and,  if 
possible,  unconscious  that  there  is  any 


174  SHOWN  STUDIES. 

wickedness.  The  ideal  girl  is  a  very  lily, 
pure  white,  without  a  single  stain.  The 
mother  never  loses  sight  of  her,  her  com 
panions  are  closely  scrutinized,  she  must 
have  no  intimacies  with  the  other  sex, 
and  when  she  takes  her  place  at  the  altar 
the  man  who  stands  by  her  side  must 
feel  sure  that  her  life  has  been  unstained 
by  a  single  indiscretion,  and  that  she  is 
ignorant  of  the  experiences  which  await 
her. 

But  does  the  young  man  expect  to  be 
measured  by  the  same  standard,  and  is 
he  able  to  present  to  her  the  same  kind 
of  character  that  she  offers  for  his  pro 
tection  ? 

Oh  no,  for  you  must  not  forget  that 
this  is  still  a  man's  world.  He  would 
never  dream  of  marrying  her — he  would 
scorn  the  suggestion — if  he  supposed  she 
had  a  single  ink-spot  on  her  garments; 
but  as  for  himself,  that  is  quite  another 
matter.  It  is  her  business  to  be  abso- 


A   MAX'S    WORLD.  175 

Intel}"  pure,  and  it  is  his  privilege  to  be 
covered  all  over  with  ink-spots. 

When  a  hoy  in  the  early  twenties  "breaks 
loose  from  moral  restraints,  indulges  in 
every  kind  of  imaginable  vice,  spends  his  • 
time  in  rioting  among  the  horde  of  inde 
cencies  which  every  large  city  furnishes, 
and  reels  home  to  a  stertorous  sleep,  this 
queer,  eccentric,  irrational,  and  stupid 
world  looks  at  him  with  a  smile,  and 
simply  remarks  that  he  is  sowing  his  wild 
oats,  and  stontly  asserts  that  wild  oats 
are  the  first  legitimate  crop  for  the  young. 

Is  it,  then,  a  good  thing  to  begin  life 
with  a  bath  in  dirty  water  in  order  to 
appreciate  the  clean  Avater  of  after-years? 
Is  it  true  that  it  is  better  to  dull  the  finer 
sensibilities  at  the  start,  to  mar  one's  self- 
respect,  to  mingle  with  all  manner  of 
lewd  ness  as  a  preliminary  to  honorable 
manhood  ? 

Swinburne  said  recently  that  vileness  is 
necessary  to  education,  and  that  the  man 


STUDIES. 

who  is  not  smutched  with  tar  at  some 
time  in  his  life  never  knows  how  beauti 
ful  goodness  is. 

Then  it  ought  to  be  made  a  condition 
of  entering  heaven  that  a  man  must 
spend  a  certain  amount  of  time  in  hell. 

But  if  the  principle  is  sound,  why  not 
extend  it  ?  If  evil  experience  enables  one 
to  enjoy  good  experience,  why  is  not  the 
mle  applicable  to  women  also?  Are  they 
to  be  deprived  of  the  higher  kind  of  ap 
preciation  because  man  wants  everything 
that  is  valuable  for  himself? 

How  would  you  like  to  have  your 
daughters  run  loose  as  your  boys  do ;  go 
into  all  possible  dens  of  vice,  visit  all 
places  of  infamous  resort,  hobnob,  witli 
immoral  characters,  in  order  to  fit  them 
to  take  their  places  as  wives  and  mothers  ? 

You  shudder  at  the  thought,  do  you? 
Then  why  not  also  shudder  when  you 
know  your  boy  is  indulging  in  these 
luxurious  vices? 


A    MAX'S    WORLD.  177 

What  kind  of  a  world  would  it  be  in  a 
couple  of  hundred  years  if  the  advocates 
of  this  theory  should  apply  it  to  both 
sexes  ? 

You  nii^ht  as  well  say  that  a  boy  ought 
to  eat.  a  certain  number  of  decayed  apples 
or  half  a  do/en  stale  eggs,  that  he  may 
be  brought  to  a  proper  appreciation  of 
good  fruit  and  fresh  eggs. 

The  simple  truth  is  that  when  a  man 
goes  into  the  mush'  cellar,  he  never  gets 
the  odor  out  of  his  clothes,  and  when  he 
leads  a  vicious  life  he  can  never  wholly 
recover  that  kind  of  manliness  or  that 
higher  sense  of  honor  which  is  the  endow 
ment  of  innocence. 

A  girl  has  just  as  good  a  right  to  de 
mand  that  he:-  lover  shall  be  free  from 
impurities  as  he  has  to  demand  that  she 
shall  be.  The  prevailing  ideas  on  this 
subject  arc  flat,  stale,  and  unprofitable. 

I  insist  that  if  a  man  has  acquired  ha 
bits  of  moral  uncleanness  before  marriage. 


178  BUOWX  STUDIES. 

neither  the  blessing  of  the  minister  nor 
the  fact  that  he  has  undertaken  new  re 
sponsibilities  will  destroy  them.  In  ex 
ceptional  cases  the  man  may  rise  to  the 
emergency  and  begin  a  wholly  different 
life;  but  I  am  familiar  enough  with  so 
ciety  in  New  York  to  declare  that  nine 
times  ont  of  ten,  when  the  noyelty  of  the 
new  situation  wears  off,  he  resumes  his 
old  habits,  breaking  the  heart  of  the  wife 
and  destroying  the  peace  and  happiness 
of  the  home. 

At  this  juncture  John  appeared  at  the 
door. 

"  What  luck  ? "  I  cried,  awakened  from 
my  dream. 

"  Fair/'  he  answered. 

"  What  did  you  bag  f " 

"  A  fine  little  doe  and  a  splendid  old 
buck." 

"  Did  you  bring  them  with  you ! " 


.1    J/J.Y'S    WOULD.  179 

"  Tlie  doe,  yes ;  the  buck,  no.  I'll  have 
to  go  for  him  to-morrow." 

ult  was  a  great  day's  sport,"  I  said, 
cheerily. 

"  Nothing  to  complain  of,"  he  answered, 
and  then  adding',  "I  thought  I'd  just  re 
port  so  you  needn't  think  I  was  lost  in 
the  woods,"  he  shut  the  door  and  was 
gone. 

Leo  came  for  a  moment's  petting,  but 
he  and  I  were  both  sleepy  and  so  said 
good-night  to  each  other. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

SOME  CURIOUS  PROBLEMS. 

HERE  is  part  of  a  letter  from  one  of 
the  best  fellows  in  the  world,  honest  Tom 
Livingston. 

He  never  married,  and  that  rather  ex 
cited  my  interest  in  him  about  eight  years 
ago.  Since  that  time  we  have  been  close 
friends,  exchanging  confidences  on  all 
subjects  save  one.  On  a  single  occasion 
I  led  him  toward  a  revelation  of  the  rea 
son  why.  he  was  not  a  family  man.  but  no 
trap  could  catch  him.  He  never  told  me 
his  story  and  I  never  told  him  mine.  I 
always  regarded  that  topic  as  too  sacred 
to  be  discussed,  and  took  a  strange  sort 
of  pleasure  in  the  thought  that  no  living 

180 


SOME   L'illlOi'S   PROBLEMS.         18.1 

human  being — I  except  Her  and  myself — 
knows  why  I  left  Her  house  one  night  in 
March  and  never  went  back.  When  I 
found  that  Tom  regarded  his  own  experi 
ence  in  the  same  light  I  felt  that  this 
bond  of  mutual  reticence  would  eventu 
ally  draw  us  closer  together  than  we  could 
ever  get  by  wearing  our  hearts  on  our 
sleeves. 

And  so  it  proved.  I  respected  the  fact 
that  he  had  a  lump  of  lead  in  his  bosom 
and  would  carry  it  to  the  end.  There 
was  just  a  faint  tinge  of  melancholy  in 
his  bearing  which  was  very  attractive. 
During  my  first  five  minutes'  talk  with 
him  I  said  to  myself.  '•  That  man  has  had 
a  stunning  blow  some  time.''  But  I  never 
learned,  from  him  at  least,  who  gave  it. 

To  be  sure,  there  was  a  legend  con 
nected  with  him,  but  a  legend — well,  it 
is  n  legend  and  nothing  more.  It  may  be 
wholly  true,  or  only  partly  true,  or  wholly 
false,  and  is  not  to  be  trusted. 


182  IMOirX  STUDIES. 

It  ran  to  tliis  effect : 

When  he  had  just  turned  twenty-five  he 
was  engaged  to  a  girl  whose  beauty  was 
the  envy  of  her  sex.  She  had  Leen  edu 
cated  in  Paris,  she  belonged  to  a  family 
that  had  inherited  wealth  for  four  gen 
erations  or  more,  and  she  was  not  spoiled 
either  by  wealth  or  admiration  and  Mattery. 
She  was  as  simple  as  a  child,  as  innocent 
as  an  angel,  and  possessed  of  a  brilliant 
wit  which  gave  her  an  irresistible  charm. 
All  this  may  be  an  exaggeration  for  aught 
I  know,  but  I  tell  the  tale  as  it  was  told 
to  me.  Women  with  that  combination  of 
excellences  are  not  often  seen,  but  even 
if  she  was  all  that  fancy  painted  her  I  am 
sure  that  my  friend  Tom  deserved  the 
prize  he  had  won. 

It  is  not  enough  to  say  that  the  two 
lovers  were  happy.  That  is  a  poor  word 
to  use,  because  it  is  so  weak,  so  tame, 
so  inadequate  to  describe  the  ecstatic 
bliss  of  love's  vouiiff  dream.  That  love 


SOME   CUHIOUS  PROBLEMS.         183 

may  not  be  stronger  than  the  love  of  later 
years — perhaps  it  is  not  so  strong  or  so 
deep  or  so  enduring— but  there  is  a  pecu 
liar  flavor  about  it  which  is  never  tasted 
by  man  or  woman  more  than  once  in  a 
lifetime.  A  divine  aspiration  transforms 
the  two  into  god  and  goddess,  and  when 
they  look  into  each  other's  eyes  they  see 
each  other's  souls.  The  touch  of  the 
finger-tips,  even  though  it  occurs  by  acci 
dent,  makes  the  nerves  tingle  throughout 
the  entire  body  and  the  rich  blood  rush  to 
the  cheeks.  To  sit  side  by  side  pretend 
ing  to  read  a  paragraph  together,  with  a 
whispered  word  now  and  then,  or  a  side 
glance  which  tells  more  in  an  instant  than 
the  lips  could  reveal  in  an  hour — all  this 
is  like  a  series  of  electric  shocks  which 
make  the  heart  jump  and  the  hands 
tremble. 

Xo  couple  that  ever  trod  the  globe,  so 
says  the  legend,  were  better  suited  to  each 
other  by  taste  and  temperament  than 


184  BltOWX  STUDIES. 

Tom  and  his  ideal.  They  had  a  rosy 
morning,  and  it  seemed  as  though  their 
path  would  be  strewn  with  flowers  all 
day.  But  it  was  not  to  be. 

Strange  things  happen  in  this  queer 
world,  and  when  we  are  happiest  we  may 
be  close  to  some  unspeakable  woe.  It  is 
not  only  true  that  the  darkest  hour  is 
just  before  dawn,  but  also  that  the  very 
brightest  and  sunniest  hour  is  sometimes 
just  before  a  catastrophe. 

Tom  was  suddenly  called  to  St.  Louis 
on  business.  He  would  be  absent  not 
more  than  ten  days,  but  ten  days  in  a 
lover's  life  are  a  small  eternity.  When 
he  bade  Madge  good-by  she  burst  into  a 
passionate  flood  of  tears.  This  was  so 
unlike  her  usual  demeanor  that  it  startled 
him.  She  was  a  self-contained  creature, 
not  at  all  impulsive  in  her  exhibition  of 
emotion ;  but  on  this  occasion  she  flung 
herself  into  his  arms,  and  for  a  long  time 
refused  to  release  him.  "I  know  that 


XUME   CURIOUS  PROBLEMS.         185 

you  must  go,"  she  said,  uand  it  is  per 
fectly  proper  that  you  should  go.  Why 
I  am  so  oppressed  I  can't  say.  My  heart 
is  heavy,  and  I  have  a  strange  feeling 
that  we  shall  not  see  each  other  again." 

He  supposed,  of  course,  that  she  was 
anxious  about  liim  and  feared  that  some 
accident  might  happen  on  the  way,  but 
never  once  dreamed  of  danger  in  connec 
tion  with  her,  for  a  ruddier-cheeked  angel 
never  flitted  from  heaven  to  bless  the 
earth  with  her  presence.  So  he  laughed 
at  her  fears,  promised  to  take  the  best  of 
care  of  himself,  and  to  send  her  letters 
on  the  way;  then  with  embraces  and 
kisses  they  said  their  farewells. 

He  had  no  sooner  reached  St.  Louis, 
however,  than  a  messenger  thrust  into  his 
hand  a  telegram.  He  blanched  as  he 
read  the  words : 

'•  Madge  is  ill.  The  doctor  fears  pneu 
monia,  but  hopes  for  the  best.  Will  keep 
you  well  informed." 


186  JUIOWX  STUDIES. 

The  poor  fellow  reeled.  To  be  fifteen 
Imndred  miles  away  at  sucli  a  time  was 
agony.  Why  had  lie  started  on  this  jour 
ney  ?  Why  had  not  a  kindly  fate  inter 
vened  in  his  favor?  If  lie  had  delayed 
the  trip  for  a  couple  of  days  he  might 
now  be  at  her  side.  What  cruelty  of  cir 
cumstance  ! 

That  evening  at  eleven  o'clock  he  re 
ceived  another  telegram  : 

'•Doctor  is  more  hopeful.  Says  you 
need  not  be  disturbed.  All  going  well." 

Unless  you  have  yourself  been  in  such 
a  situation,  you  cannot  understand  the 
revulsion  of  feeling  which  Tom  endured. 
To  stand  on  the  edge  of  a  precipice,  know 
ing  that  the  next  step  is  inevitable,  but 
that  you  must  take  it,  and  then  to  look 
up  suddenly  and  see  that  some  magician 
has  filled  the  chasm  and  you  can  walk  on 
without  fear  or  dread — that  but  feebly 
represents  the  relief  which  Tom  experi 
enced.  To  be  sure,  lie  slept  but  little  that 


SOME   CURIOUS  PROBLEMS.         187 

nig'ht,  for  what  lie  regarded  as  his  nar 
row  escape  was  constantly  iu  his  mind, 
and  every  now  and  again  he  passed  from 
a  fever  that  seemed  like  a  consuming  fire 
to  a  chill  that  froze  his  very  vitals. 

The  next  morning  a  third  message 
reached  him  : 

"  Madge  is  worse.  She  calls  for  yon. 
Come  if  possible." 

Of  course  he  left  his  business  unfinished 
and  took  the  next  train  for  the  East.  But 
one  thing  nearly  crazed  him,  namely,  he 
could  not  hear  from  her  on  the  way. 
What  might  not  happen  while  he  was  doing 
his  Lest  to  reach  her!  Two  nights  and 
t  \vo  days  must  pass  before  he  could  get 
another  word,  lie  sank  into  his  seat 
with  a  groan,  and  as  the  train  started  it 
seemed  as  though  he  were  entering  a  dark 
t  nnnel.  Would  lie  emerge  by  and  by  into 
the  light,  or  would  the  darkness  last  for 
ever  ? 

He  arrived  in  New  York  at  last,  but 


188  BROWX  STUDIES. 

when  he  reached  the  door  of  Madge's 
home  he  saw  black  crape  hanging  from 
the  bell-handle. 

She  was  gone.  The  light  on  his  path 
had  been  extinguished. 

I  am  told  that  when  he  stood  by  her 
coffin  and  looked  at  that  sweet  face,  he 
neither  moved  a  muscle  nor  shed  a  tear, 
but  was  like  a  statue  carved  from  marble. 

Let  me  think ;  that  must  have  been 
fully  ten  years  ago.  Ten  years  !  If  grief 
lasts  that  length  of  time  it  is  likely  to 
last  always. 

Not  that  it  remains  poignant — that 
would  be  more  than  human  nature  could 
bear.  It  changes  from  a  sharp  pain  to  a 
dull  ache.  One  feels  a  kind  of  heaviness, 
as  though  something  were  all  the  time 
portending;  a  depression  which  makes 
life  look  like  a  gray  day. 

Now  some  people — I  may  venture  to 
isa}*  most  people — can  pull  themselves  to- 


SOME   CURIOUS  PROBLEMS.         189 

gether  after  any  sort  of  affliction.  How 
ever  much  they  may  be  hurt,  the  wound 
heals  so  completely  that  hardly  a  remnant 
of  the  sorrow  remains.  They  enter  into 
new  relations,  and  the  old  memories  are 
washed  away  as  a  name  written  in  the 
sand  when  the  tide  rises.  Perhaps  it  is 
b?tter  so,  and  yet  I  like  it  not. 

I  have  no  patience  with  a  man  whose 
love  is  like  a  Imndle  of  hay,  which  burns 
with  terrific  energy  and  then  goes  out. 

I  remember  one  such,  and  I  have  never 
forgiven  him.  When  the  body  of  his 
wife  lay  ready  for  the  burial  service  he 
was  like  a  wild  man.  His  tears  were  a 
mountain  freshet.  I  pitied  him,  and  went 
to  his  side  and  whispered  what  few  words 
of  condolence  I  could  summon.  It  seemed 
as  though  he  would  die,  for  he  trembled 
in  every  limb  and  his  very  teeth  chattered. 
With  a  terrible  moan  he  threw  himself 
on  the  body,  and  in  the  most  agonized 
tones  begged  the  dear  one  to  come  back. 


190  BliOWX  STUDIES. 

After  that  lie  fell  into  a  chair  half  faint 
ing. 

I  don't  know  that  I  was  ever  more 
affected  in  my  life.  He  was  like  a  mag 
nificent  building  after  an  earthquake — 
nothing  but  a  pile  of  debris;  and  I  felt 
certain  that  he  would  never  recover  from 
this  shock. 

It  was  only  six  months  later  that  I  saw 
him  on  the  avenue  with  a  lady,  chatting 
in  the  j oiliest  way,  and  laughing  at  her 
witticisms.  The  weed  was  still  011  his  hat, 
but  that  was  the  only  evidence  of  mourn 
ing  I  could  discover.  At  the  end  of  a 
year  he  sent  me  cards  to  his  wedding,  and 
then  I  recalled  the  dramatic  grief  of  that 
other  occasion,  and,  with  something  which 
I  fear  had  the  appearance  of  profanity, 
threw  the  cards  into  the  fire. 

The  fellow  was  not  to  blame ;  he  was 
made  so.  It  seems  to  me,  however,  rather 
desirable  that  the  Lord  should  limit  the 


SOME   CritlOUS   PROBLEMS.         191 

number  of  that  sort  of  men  as  far  as  may 
be  convenient. 

Not  so  with  Tom.  It  was  as  impossible 
for  him  to  speak  of  his  grief  as  if  he  had 
been  born  dumb.  Neither  would  he  allow 
any  one  else  to  refer  to  it.  It  was  his 
private,  personal  possession,  and  he  re 
fused  to  share  it  with  any  man  on  the 
earth.  I  think  he  would  have  considered 
it  a  sacrilege  to  tell  that  story.  But  if 
you  were  intimate  with  him  you  soon  dis 
covered  that  the  love  of  women  had  no 
place  in  his  heart.  His  longing  for  a 
home  was  dead,  and  he  repudiated  every 
expression  of  sympathy.  But  there  were 
lines  in  his  face,  especially  at  the  corners 
of  his  mouth,  and  a  certain  something  in 
the  glance  of  his  eyes,  which  made  you 
say,  "  That  man  has  either  lost  his  fortune 
or  met  with  a  great  disappointment.1' 

There  are  such  men  in  the  world,  and, 


192  BROWN  STUDIES. 

I  am  inclined  to  think,  a  good  man}-  of 
them.  They  are  so  constituted — and  there 
fore  it  is  no  merit — that  they  can  love 
but  once.  They  who  sang  to  them  have 
departed,  but  the  echo  of  their  voices  is 
still  in  their  hearts,  and  will  remain  there 
until  on  the  other  side  the  voices  shall  be 
heard  again. 

All  these  reminiscences  came  to  mind 
as  I  held  Tom's  letter  in  my  hand.  I  sat 
before  the  blazing  fire  for  nearly  two 
hours  in  absorbed  meditation,  looking  at 
this  panorama  of  other  years  as  my  good 
genii  unrolled  it.  I  looked  at  the  old 
fireplace  and  at  the  clock  on  the  wall  and 
through  the  window  into  the  dark  night, 
and  yet  saw  neither  mantel  nor  clock  nor 
darkness.  My  present  was  wholly  oblit 
erated,  and  I  leisurely  strolled  along  the 
golden  highway  of  memory,  listening  to 
the  voices  of  many  friends,  some  of  whom 
have  grown  gray  and  bald  since  those 


HOME   CURIOUS   PllOVLEMS.         193 

far-aAvay  times,  while  others  have  drawn 
the  curtain  aside  and  gone  beyond  the 
shadows. 

I  awoke  with  a  start,  as  though  some 
stranger  had  rudely  placed  his  hand  on 
my  shoulder.  Had  I  been  really  asleep 
and  dreaming?  Everything  was  so  real, 
so  vivid.  I  rubbed  my  eyes,  for  I  was 
quite  dazed,  but  came  to  myself  again 
when  I  saw  Leo,  shaggy  old  fellow,  sit 
ting  on  his  haunches  and  staring  at  me. 

'•  Heigh-ho,  my  dog !  "  I  said,  as  I  rose 
from  the  chair,  ''  it  is  a  queer  world,  isn't 
it  ? " 

He  deliberately  laid  his  nose  on  my 
knee  and  uttered  a  kind  of  guttural 
sound,  which,  I  am  sure,  meant,  ''Yes, 
master,  it  is  a  queer  world  both  for  dogs 
and  men.1' 

'•  Tell  me,  Leo,  would  you  like  to  go 
back  to  your  puppyhood  and  live  your 
life  all  over  again?  Would  you  be  will 
ing  to  go  through  with  the  rough  experi- 


194  BKOiry  STUDIES. 

ence  of  the  days  when  your  trainer  used 
his  whip  so  freely,  or  when  you  had  that 
long  sickness,  and  your  master,  thinking 
you  were  sure  to  die,  left  you  in  a  corner 
and  wondered  where  he  could  get  another 
dog  to  take  your  place ']  Would  you, 
Leo  ? " 

The  dear  fellow  looked  at  me  in  a  won- 
drously  wise  way,  then  gave  a  quick  bark. 
I  understood  him  perfectly.  He  said,  very 
decisively,  "No,  master,  I  would  not.  I 
am  ready  to  face  the  future,  and  bear 
whatever  it  may  bring  with  the  fortitude 
of  an  honest  and  well-meaning  dog ;  but, 
my  dear  master,  one  journey  of  this  kind 
is  quite  enough  for  me." 

"  You  are  right,  Leo,"  I  answered,  as  I 
patted  his  beautiful  head  ;  "  you  are  right, 
dear  dog.  And  if  you  were  to  ask  me  the 
same  question  I  would  give  the  same  an 
swer.  Some  of  my  years  have  been  long 
and  weary;  some  have  been  short  and 
happy.  But  I  would  not  live  them  over 


MA)//:,'    CURIOUS   1'ROliLEMS.         193 

attain  for  worlds.  Once  will  do,  Leo,  once 
will  do." 

Then  I  opened  the  letter  and  read  it. 
The  only  part  which  can  interest  you  I 
will  quote.  Tom  wrote  : 

'•  You  remember  Mary  Kendal  ?  Of 
course  you  do.  Four  artists  have  gone 
wild  over  her  Titian  hair  and  her  wonder 
ful  complexion.  They  have  all  begged 
her  on  1  tended  knee  to  allow  them  the 
honor  of  painting-  her  portrait  for  the 
next  Academy  exhibition.  She  was  in 
exorable,  however,  and  the  artists  have 
threatened  to  commit  suicide.  It  would 
be  worth  a  fortune  to  a  painter  to  '  do ' 
her  on  canvas.  Applicants  would  have 
to  stand  in  a  row  after  that,  and  take 
their  turn  as  they  do  at  the  box-office  of 
a  theater.  Perhaps  these  four  had  an 
eye  to  business  as  well  as  beauty.  Why 
not,  by  the  way  ? 

"  Well,  this  very  Mary  Kendal  is  to  be 
married  next  month.  The  engagement 


196  BROWX  STUDIES. 

was  announced  last  November,  about  a 
week  after  you  left  New  York.  But  can 
you  guess  who  the  gentleman  is  ?  Think 
of  the  last  man  in  the  world  whom  she 
ought  to  marry ;.  think  of  the  fellow  than 
marry  whom  you  would  a  thousand  times 
prefer  to  see  her  in  her  shroud.  Well, 
that  man  is  her  choice.  The}'  tell  me 
that  neither  her  father  nor  mother  has 
tried  to  influence  her ;  that  she  has  had  her 
own  sweet  way  in  the  matter,  and  has 
reached  the  deliberate  conclusion  that 
she  and  he  are  to  be  like  the  Babes  in  the 
Wood,  and  are  to  keep  house  in  the  sub 
urbs  of  Elysium. 

"  I  ask  myself  every  day  if  it  is  possible. 
And  every  time  I  think  of  that  sweet  face 
I  say  to  myself,  'No,  it  is  not  possible. 
If  there  is  a  man  on  the  footstool  who 
should  be  unutterably  repulsive  to  her 
that  is  the  man,  and  yet  she  dreams  of 
bliss.' 

"Clinton  Markham  is  the  honored  in- 


L'UHIOUS   rilOULEUS.         197 

dividual,  and  when  I  write  that  name  yon 
need  not  be  the  son  of  a  prophet  to  fore 
tell  the  future." 

I  confess  to  very  great  astonishment 
when  I  read  those  paragraphs.  I  felt  like 
packing  my  gripsack  and  taking  the  next 
train  to  town  to  tell  the  girl  that  she 
had  better  throw  herself  into  the  Hudson 
Kiver.  But  with  a  shrug  of  the  shoulders 
and  a  sigh  I  admitted  that  such  a  course 
would  be  madness,  and  that  she  would 
probably  ask  the  butler  to  show  me  to 
the  front  door. 

The  rashest  man  in  the  world  is  he  who 
tries  to  reason  with  a  girl  in  love. 

'•Leo,"  I  said,  "why  does  the  Lord  al 
low  us  to  get  into  such  tangles  ?  Here  is 
a  young  girl  who  is  walking  across  a  rail 
road  bridge  on  the  ties,  and  she  is  blind 
folded.  The  trains  dash  along  every 
quarter  of  an  hour,  and  there  is  hardly 
one  chance  in  a  million  that  she  will 
reach  the  other  side  in  safety.  Yet  she 


198  miOWN  STUDIES. 

sees  no  danger,  heeds  110  warning,  and 
thinks  herself  unspeakably  happy." 

I  sometimes  think  it  a  pity  that  God  is 
so  patient.  If  He  would  only  spare  me  a 
thunderbolt  or  two,  and  give  me  author 
ity  to  hurl  them,  Clint  Markham  would 
never  go  to  Grace  Church  with  Mary 
Keiidal. 

But  I  am  exhibiting'  a  good  deal  of 
feeling  without  giving  you  any  reason 
for  doing  so.  Let  me  tell  the  story,  for 
I  know  it  all.  I  cannot  say  that  it  is  in 
teresting  in  itself,  but  it  suggests  a  prob 
lem  which  I  have  wearily  pondered  and 
never  solved. 

The  position  which  women  assume  on 
the  subject  of  marriage  is  so  far  beyond 
my  comprehension,  and  so  entirely  differ 
ent  from  what  it  should  be,  that  I  despair 
of  ever  understanding  it.  That  is  my 
puzzle,  and  I  will  proceed  to  illustrate  it. 

Clint  had  a  father  who  let  the  bov  run 


XOMI-:    CURIOUS   1'ROULE.MS.          199 

wild.  I  EC  was  too  much  engrossed  with 
the  cares  of  business  to  give  attention  to 
anything  else.  The  love  of  money  was  a 
disease,  a  passion,  with  him,  and  lie  had  a 
genius  for  acquiring  it.  Everything  he 
touched  turned  to  gold,  and  every  specu 
lation,  however  rash  it  seemed,  added  to 
his  cash  account.  When  he  was  worth  a 
million  his  greed  assumed  a  still  more 
furious  shape.  lie  dreamed  of  nothing 
but  hard  cash,  and  told  me  on  one  occa 
sion  that  his  highest  ambition  was  to 
make  Clint,  who  was  his  only  son,  the 
richest  youngster  in  town. 

••  But."  I  said,  "  money  is  a  dangerous 
possession,  and  Clint  has  already  formed 
habits  which  you  cannot  approve." 

I  had  the  right  to  speak  in  this  way, 
because  the  Markhams  were  distantly  re 
lated  to  our  family. 

'•Tut,  tut!"  replied  the  old  man,  "he 
must  take  his  chances  like  the  rest.  To 
be  sure,  he  is  a  little  top-heavy  just  now, 


200  BJiOU'X  STUDIES. 

but  by  and  by  he  will  take  in  ballast  and 
get  on  an  even  keel." 

Up  to  the  present  moment  Clint  has 
not  taken  in  any  ballast,  but  is  more  top- 
heavy  than  ever. 

The  most  difficult  task  in  the  world  is 
to  make  character  after  you  are  thirty, 
especially  when  you  have  no  raw  mate 
rial  to  make  it  of. 

If  a  fellow  gets  into  evil  practices  when 
he  is  young  he  is  like  an  old  country  road 
where  the  ruts  are  so  deep  that  if  you  try 
to  get  out  of  them  you  break  your  wheels. 

Clint  was  the  leader  of  a  very  fast  set. 
They  wore  out  all  decent  and  reputable 
pleasures  in  a  few  years,  and  then  found 
excitement  in  ways  that  are  not  to  be 
mentioned.  Like  the  gourmand,  whose 
delicacy  of  taste  has  been  dulled,  and  who 
resorts  to  the  strongest  spices  and  condi 
ments,  these  boys  could  find  no  zest  in 
anything  that  was  not  forbidden  by  hon 
orable  society.  So  at  twenty-five  Clint 


SOME   crUWL'S   PROBLEMS.         201 

was  an  old  man,  a  blase  creature,  haunted 
by  ennui.  He  had  discovered  all  that 
Paris  and  Vienna  could  disclose,  and  was 
morally  as  much  a  wreck  as  the  lost  coaster 
whose  bones  are  bleaching  on  the  sands 
of  Long  Island. 

I  don't  believe  he  has  looked  with  pure 
eyes  on  a  woman  in  years;  neither  do  I 
believe  that  there  is  a  vice  conceivable  or 
inconceivable  in  which  he  has  not  in 
dulged. 

But  remember,  please,  that  his  father 
had  between  eight  and  ten  millions  in 
vested  in  handsome  securities ;  and  re 
member,  also,  that  he  had  a  certain  polish 
of  manner  which  disguised  his  real  self 
as  a  costume  disguises  the  actor. 

Such  fellows,  when  they  marry,  always 
search  for  an  exceptionally  innocent  girl. 
They  never  dream  of  taking  one  of  their 
own  kind.  The  tiger-lil}T  wants  the  chaste 
pimpernel  for  a  companion.  Clint  wanted 
Mary  Kendal.  The  two  were  no  more 


202  BROWS  STUDIES. 

fitted  for  each  other  than  a  fiend  from 
the  infernal  regions,  reeking  with  the 
smell  of  sulphur,  is  fit  for  the  last  re 
deemed  soul  that  went  to  heaven. 

When,  a  year  ago,  I  detected  the  strategy 
of  Clint  I  found  occasion  to  mention  the 
subject  to  Mary's  father  and  mother. 

They  smiled  at  my  earnestness. 

"Mary  is  twenty-three,"  said  the  old 
gentleman. 

"And  Clint  has  skeletons  enough  to 
supply  a  medical  college,"  I  retorted. 

"  He  has  money/'  said  he. 

"  But  not  character,"  I  blurted. 

"  He  is  considered  an  enviable  parti." 

"  By  fools  who  might  just  as  well  send 
their  daughters  to  sea  on  a  raft  as  to  in 
trust  their  happiness  to  him." 

"  He  stands  as  well  as  most  men." 

"  That  is  hardly  a  compliment  to  '  most 
men.'" 

"  He  has  eccentricities,  of  course." 


SOME    CL'llIOrS   PROBLEMS.          203 

"  That  is  a  strange  word  to  use.  I 
should  prefer  to  call  them  crimes." 

They  shrugged  their  shoulders  in  an 
indifferent  way. 

"  Does  Mary  know  his  reputation  ? "  I 
asked. 

"  She  has  heard  rumors." 

"But  you  know  the  rumors  represent 
the  truth." 

"It  will  be  a  grand  wedding." 

"  Or  a  grand  funeral,"  I  replied. 

And  this  is  what  puzzles  me :  that  a 
father  who  loves  his  daughter  as  he  does 
his  life  will  deliberately  place  her  in  the 
arms  of  the  vilest  man  on  the  planet,  if 
he  is  a  millionaire. 

But  there  is  a  harder  puzzle  than  even 
that  to  guess ;  namely,  that  a  woman,  a 
religious  woman,  as  the  word  goes,  a 
thoroughly  virtuous  woman,  has  in  most 
instances  no  horror  of  vice  in  a  man. 


204  BROWN  STUDIES. 

For  that  matter,  I  have  an  impression 
that  many  women  find  the  company  of  an 
immoral,  but,  of  course,  a  gentlemanly 
fellow  far  more  piquant  and  interesting 
than  that  of  a  strictly  honorable  man. 

If  a  woman  has  sinned  they  would  110 
more  touch  her  than  they  would  touch  a 
tarred  stick ;  but  a  man  may  sin  a  thou 
sand  times,  may  break  every  law  in  the 
decalogue,  and  it  is  no  bar  to  his  marriage 
with  the  purest  \vomaii  in  society. 

There  are  exceptions  to  this  rule,  but 
they  are  not  overnumerous. 

A  lady  once  paid  me  a  confidential  visit. 
A  friend  of  hers  was  in  love  with  a  man 
wrhom  I  knew  very  well,  and  our  conver 
sation  was  entirely  frank. 

"  What  do  you  know  about  him  I "  she 
asked. 

"  I  know  all  about  him." 

"Well,  I  don't  ask  you  to  tell  me  the 
'all/  but  will  you  kindly  tell  me  some 
thing?'? 


HOME  crnwi's  rnojiLEMs.       205 

'•  I  shall  he  glad  to  answer  your  ques 
tions,  but  I  don't  care  to  volunteer  any 
information." 

"He  is  said  to  be  rich.     Is  it  true?" 

"  I  happen  to  know  that  he  is." 

'•Has  he  bad  habits?" 

"  Sonic-  of  the  worst." 

"Such,  for  instance,  as — 

"He  is  fast,  and  I  wish  to  include  in 
the  word  matters  which  I  do  not  care  to 
speak  of  more  explicitly." 

"Does  he  drink?'1 

•;  Not  largely  ;  not  more  than  the  world 
thinks  becoming1  in  the  ordinary  club 
man." 

"Would  he  make  a  good  husband?" 

'•  Do  you  mean  would  he  be  faithful  to 
his  wife  ? " 

"  Perhaps." 

"  Decidedly,  no." 

''Yon  are  sure  that  he  does  not  drink 
to  excess  ? " 

-  I  think  so." 


206  JiltOH'X  STUDIES. 

Then  she  arose  with  a  smile  and  thanked 
me,  saying  that  I  had  relieved  her  fears, 
and  there  seemed  to  be  no  reason  why 
the  two  should  not  become  engaged. 

My  looks  showed  my  surprise,  and  she 
answered  the  query  in  my  eyes  by  saying 
bluntly : 

"My  friend  has  no  feeling  whatever 
about  the  eoiiqiiests  with  which  her  lover 
is  credited.  Indeed,  if  the  stories  she  has 
heard  are  true,  she  rather  takes  pride  in 
the  fact  that  she  has  captured  the  man 
who  is  so  fascinating  that  other  women 
have  fallen  before  him.  But " — and  here 
she  became  severe — "  if  he  drinks  to  ex 
cess — ah !  that  is  a  very  different  matter. 
It  is  the  only  subject  on  which  I  have  felt 
any  anxiety." 

I  know  you  will  cry  •'  Impossible  ! ''  but 
the  story  is  absolutely  true. 

It  is  a  very  serious  problem  whether 
women,  as  a  rule,  though  pure  themselves, 


L'l'llWL'S    1'RUHLKMS.          2U7 

care  very  much  whether  their  gentlemen 
friends  are  pure  or  not. 

At  any  rate,  it  is  perfectly  clear  that 
there  is  no  emphatic  or  decisive  demand 
among1  the  majority  of  women  that  the 
same  moral  standard  shall  he  applied  to 
both  sexes.  And  I  may  add  that  in  what 
is  called  good  society  no  punishment 
whatever  is  visited  on  the  man  whose 
reputation  is  soiled. 

I  know  that  I  am  talking  harshly. 
Possibly  you  may  cry  out  against  me  and 
declare  that  I  am  cynical.  But  will  you 
tell  me  why  Mary  Kendal,  whose  soul  is 
as  white  as  a  dove's  wing,  could  marry 
Clint  Marklmm,  whose  soul  is  as  black 
as  a  raven's  breast  ]  TVhy  can  purity  wed 
with  impurity  and  feel  no  repulsion,  but, 
on  the  other  hand,  be  thoroughly  fasci 
nated  ? 

And  how  is  it  that  her  parents,  who 
know  just  as  well  as  I  do  that  the  mar 
ried  life  of  that  couple  will  change  from 


208  BllOWN  STUDIES. 

paradise  to  purgatory  in  a  few  years, 
conld  give  their  willing  consent  to  the 
match  which  will  cost  their  daughter  a 
broken  heart  ? 

The  rich  man  can  do  what  he  will,  and 
no  stinging  criticisms  follow  him.  He 
rules  by  right  of  cash.  But  the  poor  fel 
low  whose  only  endowment  is  an  honest 
body  must  not  presume  too  much.  If  he 
should  ask  the  hand  of  your  daughter 
you  would  show  him  to  the  door. 

The  world  does  not  care  for  honorable 
lives  as  much  as  for  a  bank-account. 

Women  are  custodians  in  this  realm, 
but  they  ask  few  questions  if  the  suitor 
keeps  a  carriage. 

It  has  more  than  once  happened  under 
my  own  observation  that  mothers  have 
literally  thrown  their  girls  into  the  arms 
of  unworthy  men  for  the  sole  reason  that 
unworthines.s  excited  no  disgust,  while 
riches  roused  their  envv  and  admiration. 


SOME   CURIOUS  PROBLEMS.         209 

At  this  point  Leo  stretched  himself, 
yawned,  and  looked  at  me  as  though  to 
say,  "  Master,  these  are  late  hours  for  the 
woods." 

I  took  the  hint,  and  in  my  dreams — but 
why  speak  of  dreams  ? 


CHAPTER   IX. 

WHY   DO    WE   MARRY? 

I  AM  having  a  wonderful  holiday,  and 
am  sorry  that  it  is  so  nearly  over.  Per 
haps  I  was  cut  out  for  a  hermit  and  ought 
never  to  go  back  to  the  city. 

I  think  I  can  understand  how  old 
Simeon  Stylites  felt  when  lie  climbed  his 
column  and  from  its  top  looked  down  on 
a  bustling,  hurrying,  tired-out  world  with 
something  like  disdain. 

This  love  of  solitude  seems  to  have 
been  progressive  with  him,  and  I  am  in 
clined  to  believe  that  the  same  is  true  of 
me.  I  am  not  at  all  gregarious — that  is, 
I  don't  like  men  and  women  simply  be- 

210 


IV  HY  DO    WE   MARRY !  211 

cause  they  are  men  and  women.  To  tell 
the  truth,  I  like  the  company  of  Leo  bet 
ter  than  that  of  most  people,  and  when 
he  and  I  are  together  we  are  both  happy. 

In  the  summer  I  have  spent  a  whole 
day  sitting1  OH  a  log,  with  my  microscope, 
examining  the  beauty  of  the  moss  which 
covered  it,  a  thousand  different  varieties, 
each  more  exquisite  than  the  last.  It  is 
a  forest  in  miniature,  miles  and  miles  of 
almost  impenetrable  wood  compressed 
within  the  space  of  an  inch. 

And  I  like  to  lie  in  some  shady  spot 
with  my  field-glass,  and  watch  a  gray 
squirrel  rushing  hither  and  yon  with  in 
credible  speed,  and  chuckling  to  himself 
when  he  finds  what  he  wants.  I  wonder 
what  the  little  rogue  is  thinking  of  Avhen 
he  catches  a  glimpse  of  me,  sits  on  a 
branch,  his  brush  gracefully  curved,  and 
looks  at  me  with  those  great  brown  eyes 
of  his.  lie  turns  his  head  first  to  this 
side  and  then  to  that,  trying  to  make  out 


2]  2  mtOll'X  STUDIES. 

what  I  am,  why  I  was  made  so  huge, 
whether  I  can  climb  a  tree  as  nimbly  as 
he  can,  and  what  I  am  gazing  at  him  for. 
Then  he  gives  it  up  as  a  problem  too  large 
for  a  squirrel's  comprehension,  suddenly 
remembers  that  his  curiosity  has  made 
him  forget  his  caution,  and  with  a  shrill 
whistle  darts  into  the  foliage,  springing 
from  limb  to  limb  with  marvelous  alacrity, 
and  hiding  himself  behind  a  bunch  of 
leaves. 

Wild  animals  have  a  good  many  advan 
tages  over  us  who  boast  about  our  civili 
zation.  My  little  squirrel,  for  example, 
is  never  bothered  about  house-rent.  He 
finds  a  suitable  residence  in  some  old  tree, 
snugs  it  up  a  bit,  brings  in  from  the  for 
est  a  little  dried  grass,  makes  a  comfor 
table  bed  for  himself,  and  holds  his  title 
to  the  property  in  fee  simple  from  the 
Almighty.  He  has  no  iceman  to  look 
after,  no  milkman  to  watch,  no  butcher 
to  scold  because  he  sends  tough  chops. 


H'HY    DO    II' K    MAIiliY.'  L'i:i 

and,  blessed  privilege !  110  servant-maid 
to  break  his  bric-a-brac  and  treat  her 
company  to  his  store  of  walnuts  when  he 
has  gone  off  for  a  ramble. 

If  he  is  hungry  he  finds  a  morsel  some 
where,  and  is  in  bliss.  There  is  no  table 
to  be  cleared  off,  there  are  no  dishes  to 
wash,  no  spoons  and  forks  to  be  counted 
every  day  because  they  have  a  way  of  dis 
appearing,  and  none  of  the  annoyances 
of  housekeeping  which  make  it  doubtful 
whether  life  is  worth  living.  There  is  no 
spring  cleaning  in  his  little  home,  for  if 
he  does  not  like  his  apartment,  why,  the 
Lord  has  almost  as  many  houses  to  rent 
as  there  are  trees  in  the  forest,  and  all 
he  has  to  do  is  to  take  his  pick  and  be 
satisfied. 

But  I  was  talking  about  my  resem 
blance  to  the  Syrian  Stylite.  He  got  his 
first  taste  of  solitude  as  a  herdsman,  we 
are  told,  and  spent  his  days  and  nights 


214  JiKOWX  STUDIES. 

alone  amid  the  silence  of  nature,  with 
nothing  to  do  except  to  think  and  keep 
his  eye  on  his  sheep.  Possibly  he  had  a 
dog  to  help  him  guard  the  flock,  and  that 
gave  him  all  the  leisure  he  wanted.  Think 
of  such  a  life  in  close  communion  with 
hills  and  valleys  and  streams,  with  no 
one  to  fret  you  about  the  tariff,  or  get 
you  into  an  endless  discussion  011  the  in 
come  tax. 

It  was  in  such  solitude  as  he  enjoyed 
that  astronomy  was  born.  Those  old 
shepherds  peered  at  the  overhanging 
heavens  month  after  month  until  they 
discovered  that  certain  stars  belong  to 
certain  seasons  of  the  year,  that  either 
we  move  or  the  sky  moves  all  the  time, 
and  that  a  wonderful  panorama  is  being 
unrolled  by  some  one,  suggesting  myste 
ries  beyond  their  reach.  They  were  filled 
with  awe  at  the  magnificence  of  the  spec 
tacle,  and  made  record  of  the  changes 
that  occurred  during  the  lapse  of  a  year. 


DO  ii'E  MARRY?          in.r> 

These  records  grew  more  important  age 
"by  age,  until  at  last  it  was  found  that 
we  are  only  a  little  world  in  an  immense 
multitude  of  worlds  which  came  we  know 
not  how,  which  are  going  we  know  not 
where,  and  which  will  come  to  a  conclu 
sion  we  know  not  when. 

But  this  Simeon  Stylites  had  a  reputa 
tion  for  godliness,  and  the  people  came  iu 
crowds  to  get  a  look  at  him.  In  disgust 
he  built  a  pillar  ten  feet  high,  where  he 
lived  for  a  while.  But  the  tide  of  hu 
manity  surged  all  about  him,  and  he  was 
tired  of  its  noisy  ebb  and  flow.  So  he 
climbed  up  a  new  pillar,  this  time  sixty 
feet  high,  and  stayed  there  about  thirty 
years. 

How  they  ever  got  him  down  when  he 
was  dead  is  something  I  know  nothing 
about.  It  is  enough  that  he  was  buried 
at  Antioch,  and  that  his  biographer,  An- 
tonius,  tells  us  he  was  a  very  decent  sort 
of  man. 


216  1SROWX  STUDIES. 

I  do  not  believe  I  should  like  to  live  on 
a  platform  four  feet  square  for  the  sake 
of  getting  away  from  my  kind,  but  I  feel 
sure  that  it  is  harmful  to  our  personal 
characters  to  live  in  such  close  relations 
with  one  another  as  we  do. 

It  sometimes  seems  to  me  that  society 
is  a  great  seething  mass  of  bodies  and 
minds  and  souls,  which  are  so  tangled 
that  no  man  lives  his  own  life,  but  is  in 
fluenced  and  therefore  injured  by  the 
magnetism  of  the  whole.  The  hardest 
thing  in  the  world  is  to  have  thoughts 
which  are  absolutely  your  own,  for  most 
of  our  opinions  are  either  made  or  modi 
fied  by  the  prevailing  opinion  in  our 
neighborhood  or  in  the  circle  to  which  we 
belong. 

It  was  to  get  rid  of  all  that,  and  to  find 
out  whether  there  would  be  anything  left 
after  I  had  subtracted  from  my  sum  total 
all  that  I  had  unconsciously  absorbed 
from  others,  that  I  came  into  these  woods 


11771"    1)0     \\'K    .17 J /,'/»' 1":  L'17 

to  live  with  Leo  and  my  two  backwoods 
men  and  myself. 

I  am  forcibly  reminded  of  this  by  the 
huge  batch  of  letters  which  lies  on  my 
table,  some  parts  of  which  I  propose  to 
read  to  you. 

Here,  for  instance,  is  one  from  Tom 
Xcvius.  It  is  full  of  tattle,  but  will  serve 
as  a  good  starting-point  for  what  I  wish 
to  say.  He  writes  among-  other  things: 

"There  is  a  report  that  Clara  van  Brunt 
and  her  husband  find  it  pretty  difficult  to 
live  in  the  same  house.  "Well,  it's  the  old 
story  that  we  all  know  by  heart." 

That  short  paragraph  will  furnish  a 
half-hour's  meditation  of  a  very  serious 
problem.  I  will  tell  3*011  the  story — a 
rather  pathetic  one,  by  the  way — and  3*011 
will  see  one  of  the  queerest  puzzles  of  life. 

Van  Brunt  was  an  old  schoolmate  of 
mine.  In  those  da3's  the  ferule  and  the 
rattan  were  in  vogue,  and  that  queer  say- 


218  BROWX  STL'DIKS. 

ing  about  sparing  the  rod  and  spoiling 
the  child  was  received  as  an  injunction 
not  to  be  disobeyed.  The  head-master, 
Big  Field,  as  we  used  to  call  him,  took 
especial  delight  in  the  rattan.  It  always 
lay  on  his  desk  within  easy  reach,  and 
three  or  four  times  a  day  he  would  apply 
it  with  such  vigor  that  the  poor  victim's 
hand  was  sure  to  have  a  couple  of  blisters 
on  it. 

Bradford  van  Brunt  got  his  full  share 
of  punishment.  And  richly  he  deserved 
it,  for  lie  was  everlastingly  getting  some 
boy  into  a  scrape  and  trying  to  sneak 
out  of  the  responsibility'  for  it.  He  was 
a  cowardly,  self-Avilled  fellow,  with  no 
sense  of  honor  whatever. 

Well  do  I  remember  one  episode,  for 
I  had  a  very  narrow  escape.  Bradford 
had  put  a  bent  pin  in  the  master's  chair 
— a  grave  offense,  but  in  those  days  con 
sidered  a  very  good  joke.  Big  Field 
flushed  in  the  face,  nervously  grasped  his 


ll'll }     DO    WE   MAllliY !  1M9 

ferule,  and  looked  as  though  he  would 
like  to  thrash  the  whole  school.  He  fixed 
his  fyes  on  me,  for  it  was  impossible  to 
control  my  risibles,  and  without  doubt  I 
had  the  appearance  of  a  culprit. 

When  the  session  was  nearly  over  Field 
beckoned  to  me,  and  when  I  stood  in  front 
of  his  desk  his  glance  was  withering.  He 
remarked :  "  Clarence,  I  want  to  see  you 
after  the  school  has  been  dismissed." 

When  the  boys  bundled  out  of  the  room 
he  lifted  his  awful  forefinger  and  I  knew 
that  my  doom  was  sealed.  Still  I  was 
full  of  spirit,  and  though  frightened  out 
of  my  wits,  I  determined  not  to  bo  whipped 
for  nothing. 

'•  Hold  out  your  hand,  sir  !  " 

I  hesitated,  and  rather  think  the  tears 
came  to  my  eyes. 

':  What  have  I  done,  sir  f "  I  said,  dog 
gedly. 

'•  Hold  out  your  hand  !  " 

"But,  Mr.  Field,  what  have  I  done?" 


220  11ROWX  STUDIES. 

I  rather  admire  myself  for  having  been 
so  plucky. 

He  pointed  to  the  pin,  which  lay  oji  his 
desk. 

u  I  didn't  put  it  in  your  chair,,  sir.'' 

He  gave  me  a  piercing-  look,  but  I  didn't 
flinch. 

"  Are  you  sure  ? " 

"  Perfectly,  sir." 

"  You  know  who  did  it  ? " 

I  hesitated. 

"  You  know  who  did  it  ? "  and  the  rat 
tan  began  to  sing  through  the  air. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  I  answered,  but  ver}r  feebly. 

"  Name  the  bo}7 !  " 

"  I'd  rather  not,  Mr.  Field." 

"  Name  the  boy  or  hold  out  your  hand." 

It  was  a  frightful  moment ;  but  I  was  not 
brought  up  to  tell  tales,  and  so,  putting 
my  teeth  together,  I  held  out  my  hand. 

"You  refuse  to  give  me  the  desired  in 
formation  ? " 

"I  can't  do  it,  sir;  it  wouldn't  be  hon- 


ll'JfT  DO    WE  MARRY t  221 

orable.     I'd   rather   take   the  thrashing, 
Mr.  Field." 

Then  he  laid  the  rattan  down  on  the 
chair,  threw  the  pin  into  the  waste-basket, 
and  growled,  "  Go  home,  sir." 

When  Bradford  was  twenty-six  lie  got 
into  bad  habits.  His  father  was  a  heavy 
drinker,  and  the  boy  came  by  his  love  of 
liquor  by  inheritance. 

He  could  not  help  drinking.  I  have  110 
doubt  he  tried  to  resist  temptation;  but 
it  was  too  strong  for  him.  He  never 
reeled,  however.  He  could  drink  brandy 
without  feeling  its  effects.  I  never  saw 
him  when  he  was  not  able  to  walk  a  crack 
with  perfect  steadiness.  Still  the  most 
casual  observer  could  see  that  the  quan 
tities  he  imbibed  were  telling  on  him,  and 
that  he  would  end  a  wretched  sot. 

Clara  was  simply  fascinated,  for  Brad 
ford  was  bright  and  witty,  and  most  ex 
cellent  at  repartee.  In  a  little  dinner 


222  BEOWX  STUDIES. 

company  he  very  easily  led  them  all,  for 
he  could  tell  the  funniest  stories  in  the 
funniest  way,  and  was  withal  a  superb 
mimic. 

So  Clara  fell  in  love  with  him,  and 
when  remonstrated  with  declared  her 
ability  to  reform  him.  They  were  mar 
ried  with  pomp  and  ceremony. 

Do  not  marry  a  man  with  the  hope  of 
reforming  him.  It  is  the  most  hopeless 
task  ever  undertaken  by  a  Avoman.  I 
have  seen  the  experiment  tried  on  two  or 
three  occasions,  but  never  with  success. 
If  a  man  will  not  reform  himself  during 
an  engagement  there  is  110  power  under 
heaven  that  will  change  him  after  his 
marriage. 

Clara  was  an  exceptional  girl,  with 
great  qualities  of  character,  but  wholly 
unconscious  of  them.  She  was  beautiful, 
fond  of  merriment,  light-hearted  as  a 


H'HY  DO    WE  MAliKYf  2:23 

fawn,  but  with  a  capacity  for  affection  of 
the  deepest  kind  if  the  right  man  could 
find  her.  If  she  had  married  a  statesman 
she  would  have  had  a  salon  and  been  a 
leader  in  society.  She  had  had  a  dozen 
offers,  but  did  not  care  to  surrender  her 
liberty.  Her  weak  point  was  a  very  ten 
der  heart,  of  the  kind  which  too  keenly 
appreciates  the  suffering  of  the  man  who 
swears  to  commit  suicide  if  she  rejects 
him,  but  who  six  months  later  bends  the 
'•pregnant  hinges  of  the  knee  "  to  some 
other  beauty. 

Bradford  was  coarse  and  Clara  was 
pure :  he  was  a  trombone  and  she  a  Cre 
mona  violin.  He  could  give  her  fine 
dresses  and  a  costly  equipage,  and  was 
proud  of  her  beauty ;  but  long,  long  ago 
I  saw  a  kind  of  repulsion  on  her  part  to 
ward  him  that  was  ominous,  and  knew 
only  too  well  that  he  and  she  would  both 
have  been  happier  if  they  had  each  mated 
with  one  of  his  own  kind. 


224  JiltOWX  STUDIES. 

As  I  reviewed  these  facts  this  question 
arose  in  my  mind :  What  is  it  the  duty  of 
that  woman  to  do  ?  Does  the  welfare  of 
society  demand  that  she  shall  remain  a 
suppressed  being',  her  finer  and  nobler 
nature  kept  in  a  dormant  condition,  her 
possibilities  for  affection,  her  intellect,  and 
her  superb  spiritual  qualities  held  in  abey 
ance  for  a  lifetime  because  public  opinion 
has  decreed  that  it  must  be  so '?  Will  the 
world  be  any  better  for  her  sacrifice  of 
herself?  Does  religion  demand  that  she 
shall  be  the  slave  of  the  man  who  has  a 
legal  right  to  her  person,  or  would  it  be 
better  for  us  all  if  in  such  cases  provision 
were  made  for  the  rectification  of  early 
errors  ? 

Do  you  ask  what  I  mean  by  the  mys 
terious  word  "  provision  "  ?  And  do  you 
intimate  that  I  am  trying  to  evade  the 
consequences  of  speaking  frankly  by  ask 
ing  you  to  answer  the  question?  Then 
you  do  me  slender  justice. 


\VIIY   IX)    U'E  MAliRYt  2125 

What  I  moan,  then,  is  this:  that  so 
ciety  ought  not  to  force  two  people  to  live 
together  when  they  have  discovered  that 
their  marriage  is  a  personal  injury  to  the 
character  of  either  party. 

The  world  would  show  hotter  results  if 
our  laws,  our  customs,  were  snch  that  a 
woman  could  say,  in  snch  eases  as  this, 
••  I  am.  l>eing  robbed,  and  I  mean  to  leave 
the  robber.  I  no  longer  cherish  the  love 
of  other  years,  because  I  have  waked 
np  to  the  fact  that  he  is  not  worthy 
of  it." 

Yon  tell  me — I  have  been  told  this  a 
thousand  times — that  the  welfare  of  so 
ciety  as  a  'whole  demands  that  when  a 
woman  has  made  a  mistake  she  must  not 
try  to  rectify  it,  but  must  pretend  that 
she  is  happy  when  she  is  not ;  must  swear 
that  her  husband  is  all  that  could  be  de 
sired  when  she  knows  that  he  has  nothing 
that  she  desires;  and  must,  in  a  word, 
become  a  pretender,  and  issue  falsehood 


226  BROWN  STUDIES. 

after  falsehood  with  smiling  lips  while 
her  heart  is  breaking. 

Pray  tell  me — for  I  Avish  to  be  logical 
in  drawing  my  conclusions — what  is  the 
prime  object  of  marriage  ?  Mind,  I  say 
emphatically  the  jM'hne  object.  Consid 
ering  the  fact  that  we  are  immortal  beings, 
and  that  the  greatest  end  to  be  achieved 
is  character,  and  nothing  but  character, 
why  has  God  ordained  marriage  f 

Is  it  for  the  perpetuation  of  the  race 
simply?  Is  it  that  there  may  be  more 
men  and  women  to  suffer  as  we  are  suf 
fering,  and  to  bear  the  burdens  that  we 
are  bearing? 

The  perpetuation  of  the  race,  in  my 
judgment,  is  a  mere  side  issue.  At  best 
it  is  only  an  incident  in  connection  with 
marriage.  At  any  rate,  if  it  is  its  prime 
purpose,  then  the  majority  is  strangely 
derelict  in  duty,  and  mankind  is  to  a  great 
extent  a  failure. 

Large  families  are  the  exception,  not 


nv/r  no  \YK  MARRY?          2-27 

the  rule,  the  wide  globe  over.  Especially 
is  tliis  true  in  all  great  aggregations  of 
the  people,  as  in  the  thickly  settled  parts 
of  a  country. 

In  a  state  of  society  which  is  honey 
combed  by  competition,  both  in  labor  and 
in  business,  the  matter  of  income  is  an 
important  factor  of  domestic  happiness. 
A  large  family  means  inevitable  poverty 
and  consequent  misery.  I  can  conceive 
of  no  greater  misfortune  than  for  an  or 
dinary  wage-earner,  who  is  already  har 
assed  by  the  difficulty  of  providing  rent 
and  food  and  clothing,  to  become  the 
father  of  ten  or  a  dozen  children.  Pov 
erty  such  as  we  have  never  dreamed  of 
would  prevail,  and  with  poverty  would 
come  a  startling  increase  in  temptation 
and  crime. 

It  seems  very  queer,  therefore,  that  God 
should  wish  us  to  enlarge  our  households 
indefinitely,  while  we  make  it  a  special 
task  to  limit  them  to  a  small  number. 


228  HKOWN  STUDIES. 

Either  the  Creator  has  made  a  mistake  in 
issuing  such  a  decree,  or  the  present  order 
of  things  is  so  twisted  that  we  cannot 
obey  without  bringing  upon  ourselves 
immeasurable  disaster.  In  other  words, 
to  obey  God  in  this  regard  is  to  invite 
the  ruin  of  your  happiness  and  make  a 
galley-slave  of  yourself,  while  to  disobey 
him  is  to  give  yourself  a  fair  chance. 

I  beg  you  not  to  regard  me  as  a  theo 
rist,  a  dreamer,  a  fanatic,  for  I  pride  my 
self  011  being  a  thoroughly  practical  man. 
I  have,  however,  strong  opinions  on  this 
subject,  and  they  are  the  result  of  very 
careful  observation . 

I  have  heard  on  good  authority  of  a 
French-Canadian  who  reared  a  family  of 
twenty-six  children,  and  of  another  to 
whom  were  born  by  the  same  mother 
either  thirty-one  or  thirty-two  children,  I 
forget  which.  Moreover,  I  learn  that  in 
the  province  of  Quebec  the  priests  are 
apt  to  tell  their  people  that  they  can  do 


n'HY  1)0    U'E  3U.1111Y?  229 

no  1  letter  service  to  God  than  to  increase 
and  multiply  the  number  of  their  off 
spring. 

Well  and  good.  I  have  nothing  to  sa}r. 
If  paternal  and  maternal  affection  can 
care  for  such  a  brood  as  that,  may  a 
kind  Providence  gratify  them  with  a 
phenomenal  family. 

But,  from  an  economic  standpoint,  is  it 
possible  for  one  man  and  one  woman  not 
in  affluent  circumstances  to  do  justice  to 
the  bodies  of  such  an  army-corps  of  chil 
dren  ?  Must  there  not  be  deprivation  and 
neglect  as  an  inevitable  consequence  ?  Is 
any  living  man  so  constituted  that  he  can 
faithfully  perform  his  duty  to  twenty- 
four  human  beings?  Is  it  not  a  kind  of 
sarcasm  for  him  to  undertake  such  a 
task '?  Is  affection  so  elastic  that  it  can 
cover  two  dozen  beds  and  cribs  and 
cradles  in  such  way  that  each  child  shall 
receive  the  attention  which  is  necessary 
to  proper  development  ? 


230  BROWN  STUDIES. 

Possibly,  but  if  so  I  confess  to  being 
greatly  puzzled. 

Viewed  from  a  spiritual  and  educational 
standpoint  the  difficulties  increase  in  ap 
palling  fashion.  Every  new-comer  brings 
his  own  temperament  with  him,  and  that 
temperament  is  a  very  important  factor 
in  the  problem  of  his  welfare.  Apply  the 
same  rule  to  twenty-four  children,  and 
the  chances  are  that  yon  will  ruin  them 
all.  Yon  cannot  strike  an  average  of 
discipline.  The  peculiarity  of  a  well- 
brought-up  family  is  that  the  mother 
knows  each  child's  weak  and  strong 
points,  and  applies  herself  to  each  one's 
idiosyncrasies.  If  this  is  not  done  you 
may  have  a  crowd,  a  mob,  but  you  have 
no  family  life. 

To  declare  that  God  wishes  you  to  in 
crease  and  multiply  without  reference  to 
proper  educational  influences  is  an  asser 
tion  which  does  not  commend  itself  to 
my  judgment. 


WHY  DO    }\'E  MA1UIY?  231 

Allow  nio  to  say,  further,  that  the  birth 
of  a  child  is  frequently  a  sanctifying  and 
harmonizing  influence.  There  is  an  im- 
pressiveness  about  the  chamber  in  which 
an  immortal  soul  is  making1  its  first  ap 
pearance  in  the  world  which  affects  the 
most  rugged  natures,  and  softens  and 
enriches  the  most  reckless  heart.  There 
is  a  mystery  about  it  which  ennobles,  and 
a  responsibility  connected  Avith  it  which 
widens  a  man's  outlook  and  tends  to  a 
loftier  purpose  in  life.  Only  the  brute 
can  be  indifferent  on  an  occasion  when 
the  just-arrived  angel  is  given  into  his 
keeping.  That  cry,  heard  in  the  stillness 
of  the  night,  makes  him  tremble  with 
excitement,  and  if  there  are  in  him  any 
superior  qualities  they  come  to  the  sur 
face  at  once. 

Besides,  a  child  is  frequently  the  very 
balm  of  (iilead  to  heal  the  wounds  of 
estrangement.  The  man  and  wife  may 
have  grown  apart  from  each  other,  but 


232  BROWX  STUDIES. 

when  the  little  one  arrives  the  two  be 
come  one  again  at  the  side  of  the  cradle. 
That  "  third  party  »  has  a  wonderfully  at 
tractive  power,  and  they  who  have  been 
back  to  back  turn  toward  him  and  find 
themselves  once  more  face  to  face. 

I  have  no  doubt  that  there  are  mar 
riages  which  are  complete  without  chil 
dren.  They  are  not  longed  for,  because 
the  man  and  woman  supplement  each 
other  perfectly.  They  are  not  necessary 
to  the  home,  because  the  husband  finds 
in  his  wife  more  than  enough  to  satisfy 
every  desire,  and  the  wife  finds  in  the 
husband  all  she  has  ever  prayed  for. 

But  such  cases  are  remarkable  excep 
tions,  and  it  requires  very  much  more 
than  the  ordinary  amount  of  love — at 
least  one  hundred  per  cent,  more — to  make 
a  happy  household  without  a  crib  in  it. 
As  a  general  rule — and  pity  'tis  'tis  true 
— marriage  is  a  novelty,  and  like  all  other 


IX)    l\'E   AIAllttY?  233 

novelties,  it  wears  itself  out  after  a  few 
years,  and  becomes  somewhat  tame  and 
insipid.  The  sparkle,  the  effervescence  of 
love  is  lost.  Then  children  awaken  a  new 
interest  in  the  household,  and  a  new  bond 
of  union  is  formed.  The  love  of  father 
and  mother  for  each  other  is  revived  by 
Ilieir  common  love  for  the  little  ones,  and  a 
sweet  and  hallowing  influence  grinds  away 
the  harsh  corners  in  the  father's  heart,  and 
perhaps  does  the  same  for  the  mother.  I 
can  not  help  thinking  that  the  prattle  of 
childhood  is  one  of  the  compensations  for 
the  disappointments  of  married  life,  and 
that  many  a  husband  and  wife  are  kept 
together  by  it  who  would  otherwise  be 
drawn  farther  and  farther  apart. 

But  I  feel  impelled  to  say  one  tiring 
more.  I  firmly  believe  that  it  is  a  crimi 
nal  offense  against  God  and  against  so 
ciety  for  some  married  people  to  have  any 
children  at  all.  There  is,  to  be  sure,  no 


L'34  BROWN  STUDIES. 

law  on  our  statute-books  which  takes 
cognizance  of  that  crime,  but  there  ong'ht 
to  be,  and  in  the  future,  when  wo  see 
these  things  more  clearly,  there  will  be. 

If  you  could  repeal  the  laws  of  hered 
ity,  then  I  should  have  nothing  to  say: 
but  while  those  laws  are  in  force,  and  the 
fatal  and  known  weaknesses  of  the  parent- 
are  sure  to  be  transmitted  to  the  children, 
it  is  a  base  and  cruel  act  to  bring  children 
into  the  world. 

Take  the  case  of  the  Van  Brunt  family. 
Bradford — why  mince  words  when  we  are 
speaking  on  so  serious  a  subject '? — Brad 
ford  is  a  confirmed  drunkard.  He  got 
his  love  of  whisky  from  his  father  just  as 
he  got  his  two  hundred  thousand  dollars 
— by  inheritance.  The  old  man  was 
brought  home  one  night  in  a  beastly  con 
dition,  was  struck  with  apoplexy  at  two 
in  the  morning,  and  I  attended  his  funeral 
three  days  later.  Bradford  is  simply 
carrying  out  the  logic  of  the  situation. 


11'IfY  DO    WE  MARRY?  235 

Tn  bringing  children  into  the  world  lie 
has  .simply  added  to  the  misery  of  the 
world.  Those  children  will  marry,  and 
the  chances  are  that  this  inherited  weak 
ness  will  sooner  or  later  make  itself  mani 
fest. 

I  say,  therefore,  that  Bradford  had  no 
right  to  ask  any  one's  daughter  to  take 
the  risk  of  living  with  him  as  his  wife, 
and  that  no  cradle  ought  ever  to  have 
been  brought  into  that  house. 

I  do  not  believe  that  to  bear  children  is 
the  chief  mission  of  woman,  or  that  the 
perpetuation  of  the  race  has  anything 
more  than  the  slenderest  relation  to  mar 
riage. 

There  is  a  far  higher  purpose  to  be 
subserved  by  marriage  than  this. 

Let  me  see  if  I  cannot  so  plead  my  case 
as  to  convince  you.  A  man  and  a  woman, 
for  example,  love  each  other,  and  this 
love  is  the  magician  whose  business  it  is 


23G  B1W1VN  STUDIES. 

to  weld  their  souls,  not  their  bodies — for 
true  love  has  little  to  do  with  flesh  and 
blood — and  make  them  one. 

What  the  sun  is  to  our  solar  system, 
that,  and  nothing  less,  love  is  to  a  human 
being  who  has  brains  enough  to  appreci 
ate  it. 

Love,  of  the  kind  I  refer  to,  leads  in 
evitably  to  marriage.  The  two  can  no 
more  be  kept  apart  than  bits  of  magne 
tized  iron. 

After  marriage  comes  a  home  :  the  asy 
lum  of  the  tired  and  harassed,  the  place 
of  peace  and  contentment  when  the  day 
is  done  in  which  you  have  been  chased  by 
a  whole  pack  of  hounds — cares,  anxieties, 
responsibilities,  disappointments. 

The  wife  is  the  husband's  evangel.  Xo 
other  woman  can  serve  him  as  well,  be 
cause  he  loves  no  other  woman.  She  is 
his  comforter,  and  by  the  hearthstone 
which  is  blessed  with  her  presence  he  is 
renewed  in  soul.  She  is  his  physician, 
and  the  medicament  which  she  furnishes 


WHY  DO    WE  MAUUY*  'lol 

with  outstretched  arms  and  a  kiss  gives 
him  a  better  hold  on  life.  She  is  his 
priestess,  and  with  the  delightful  entice 
ments  of  a  holy  nature  she  makes  him 
hopeful  and  faithful  and  noble. 

The  husband  is  the  woman's  Sir  Knight, 
who  every  evening1  conies  home  from  the 
wars,  lays  aside  his  helmet  and  coat  of 
mail,  hang's  his  sword  behind  the  door, 
and  tells  her  with  proud  lips  of  his  vic 
tory,  or  with  trembling1  lips  confesses  his 
defeat.  lie  has  no  secrets  from  her.  She 
can  look  into  his  eyes  and  see  his  soul. 
His  is  the  strong'  right  arm  on  which  she 
leans,  and  she  proudly  recognizes  his 
courage  and  valor.  If  she  is  tried  by 
domestic  embarrassments,  or  if  she  is 
worn  in  body  or  depressed  in  mind,  he 
holds  her  to  his  heart,  and  a  miracle  is 
the  result;  for  she  smiles  once  more,  the 
prospect  has  lost  its  dreariness,  and  she 
becomes  as  young  and  fresh  and  bright 
as  she  was  in  the  old  days. 

That  is  true  marriage :  that  is  the  only 


238  JiEOJyy  STUDIES. 

relation  that  can  be  dignified  by  the  name 
of  marriage,  and  all  other  kinds  are 
"  leather  and  prunella." 

In  such  a  marriage  there  is  constant 
development.  The  man  who  has  the  ideal 
wife  becomes  more  manly;  the  woman 
Avho  has  an  ideal  husband  becomes  more 
womanly.  Their  experiences  are  an  edu 
cation  for  both.  Four  hands  work  to 
gether  as  though  there  were  only  two. 
Neither  is  superior  to  the  other,  for  the 
one  is  like  the  long  sword  of  King  Rich 
ard,  with  which  he  cut  a  bar  of  iron,  and 
the  other  is  like  the  scimitar  of  Saladin, 
with  which  he  cleft  a  floating  veil  in  twain. 
Being  so  different,  they  cannot  be  com 
pared,  for  the  work  of  both  is  necessary, 
and  neither  could  do  what  the  other  does 
easily.  Superiority  and  inferiority  are 
small  questions  to  such  a  couple,  and  are 
never  discussed,  for  he  is  all  to  her  and 
she  is  all  to  him. 

The  moment  3*011  introduce  the  physical 


ll'IIY  DO    WE  MAIUIT?  239 

element  into  such  a  relation  you  debase 
it.  The  marriage  of  such  a  couple  has  no 
foundation  of  passion — though  passion 
may  be  incidental  to  it — and  their  love  is 
not  in  the  slightest  degree  dependent  on 
their  bodies.  That  love  is  of  such  rare 
and  perfect  quality  that  if  they  had  no 
bodies,  if  such  a  thing  as  passion  were  an 
impossibility,  it  would  be  as  pure  and 
true  as  ever.  When  death  comes,  and 
their  bodies  are  placed  under  the  sod, 
they  will  find  each  other  in  the  higher 
world,  and  continue  their  companionship 
without  any  sense  of  loss  from  the  absence 
of  material  and  fleshly  desires.  Theirs  is 
a  marriage  of  soul,  and  the  relation  can 
be  continued  in  heaven  and  throughout 
eternity. 

Now  let  me  come  back  to  the  question, 
What  is  it  the  duty  of  Clara  van  Brunt 
to  do  ?  What  should  an  enlightened  pub 
lic  opinion  demand  that  she  shall  do? 


240  IMOirX  STUDIES. 

The  Bradford  van  Brunt  of  to-day  is  not 
the  man  she  married  twelve  years  ago, 
for  he  has  changed  in  some  important 
particulars.  If  she  should  meet  him  for 
the  first  time  now,  and  he  should  attempt 
to  pay  court  to  her,  she  would  treat  him 
with  something  more  effective  than  in 
difference. 

During  these  twelve  years  he  has  grown 
to  be  lefcs  and  less  of  a  man  and  she  has 
become  more  and  more  of  a  woman.  His 
influence  over  her,  so  far  as  he  has  any 
at  all,  is  one  of  suppression.  Her  influ 
ence  over  him  is  just  nothing  at  all. 
They  are  strangers  to  each  other,  and  yet 
the  law  allows  him  to  claim  privileges 
which  she  would  sooner  take  a  deadly 
poison  than  grant. 

Ought  she  to  surrender  her  right  to 
be  the  woman  God  intended  her  to  be  5 
should  she  practically  defeat  the  purposes 
of  Providence,  and  remain  dwarfed,  an 
arrested  development,  because  she  hap- 


WHY  DO    WE   MARltY?  241 

pens  to  have  made  a  mistake  in  her  girl 
hood  and  married  the  wrong  man? 

I  confess  I  think  not.  If  society  can  not 
get  on  without  such  sacrifices  as  that,  if 
what  we  call  moral  progress  is  interfered 
with  because  a  woman  wants  to  set  her 
self  right  after  having  taken  a  misstep, 
then  moral  progress  is  neither  progress 
nor  moral. 

1  do  not  wish  to  be  too  radical,  but 
above  all  things  I  demand  for  every  one, 
man  and  woman  alike,  the  divine  right 
to  escape  from  misery  and  to  lay  hold  on 
happiness  if  it  is  possible  to  do  so,  and  I 
think  the  world  is  moved  by  wrong  prin 
ciples  if  it  puts  its  iron  hand  on  man  or 
woman  to  forbid  the  exercise  of  that  right. 

Clara  and  Bradford  are  not  married 
except  in  a  legal  sense,  and  that  law  is  a 
piece  of  stupid  folly  which  compels  her 
to  be — for  that  is  what  it  amounts  to — 
compels  her  to  be  the  mistress  of  a  man 
whom  she  does  not  love  and  cannot  love. 


242  JUiOirX  STUDIES. 

The  sacrifice  called  for  is  too  fearful 
to  contemplate,  and  I  am  firmly  of  the 
opinion  that  true  morality  is  more  im 
peded  by  their  remaining  together  than 
it  could  be  by  their  drawing  apart  and 
seeking  each  his  own  happiness  and  de 
velopment  in  a  different  environment. 


CHAPTER  X. 

WAS    IT    A    VISION? 

How  time  slips  away !  I  sometimes 
feel  that  life  is  a  good  deal  like  a  tobog 
gan-slide,  where  you  begin  your  journey 
at  an  almost  hesitating  pace,  but,  gather 
ing  momentum  with  every  rod,  at  last 
rush  on  with  incredible  speed,  until  the 
exhausted  impulse  gradually  gives  way, 
and  you  go  slower  and  slower,  until  at 
last  you  come  to  a  standstill. 

I  spent  a  few  weeks  in  Montreal  last 
winter,  and  enjoyed  the  sport  amazingly. 
My  friends  were  enthusiasts  and  all  young. 
They  insisted  that  I  was  no  older  than 
Madge,  who  had  just  turned  twenty,  and 
managed  to  imbue  me  with  the  idea  that 
243 


244  JiliOJrX  STUDIES. 

the  family  Bible  in  which  the  year  of  my 
birth  is  noted  reported  the  event  incor 
rectly.  They  persuaded  me  that  I  had 
just  left  college  the  summer  before ;  that 
my  being  in  business  for  twenty  years 
was  all  an  illusion.  So  I  put  on  my 
wraps  and  in  due  time  took  my  place  on 
the  toboggan. 

For  a  single  brief  moment  I  felt  that  I 
had  saddled  a  comet  and  was  careering 
through  space  with  destruction  close  at 
hand;  but  when  I  got  through  the  first 
experience  with  no  danger  to  life  or  limb 
I  entered  into  the  spirit  of  the  pastime, 
and  was  loath  to  give  it  up  even  for  a 
good  dinner. 

Well,  that  toboggan-slide  is  a  perfect 
symbol  of  our  human  life.  In  our  child 
hood  we  think  the  days  will  never  pass, 
and  the  space  between  Wednesday  after 
noon  and  the  Saturday  holiday  is  like  a 
very  considerable  section  of  eternity.  The 
hours  drag  themselves  along  with  the 


II'.-IS   IT  A    1'ISIOX?  245 

quiet  deliberation  of  an  ox-team  on  n 
country  road.  But  later  on,  when  we 
take  our  first  dash  into  the  business  of 
life,  they  quicken  their  pace,  and  after  we 
get  past  middle  age  they  hasten  with  such 
breathless  fury  and  such  impetuous  im 
patience  that  we  are  reminded  of  an  ex 
press-train  which  throws  the  miles  behind 
it  so  rapidly  that  the  telegraph-poles  make 
a  sort  of  picket-fence  on  the  side  of  the 
road.  Then  at  sixty-five  or  seventy  we 
begin  to  slow  up,  our  vital  energy  dissi 
pates  itself,  the  wheels  no  longer  turn 
with  the  joyful  hum  of  earlier  times,  and 
after  a  little  some  friend  comes  to  our 
bedside  and  remarks  in  a  whisper  that 
the  train  has  stopped  altogether. 

Is  it  possible  that,  like  the  tobogganer, 
we  can  climb  through  death  up  the  hill 
again,  and  take  another  slide,  on  another 
toboggan,  down  the  slope  of  another  life  ? 
Or,  having  taken  one  slide,  got  used  to 
sport,  and  enjoyed  it  so  much  that  wre 


246  BROWN  STUDIES. 

long  for  one  more  trip,  for  many  more 
trips  of  the  same  kind,  are  we  to  be  told 
that  one  tremulous,  terrifying,  but  excit 
ing  slide  is  all  tliere  is  to  it,  and  that 
when  it  is  over  we  must  stow  the  tobog 
gan  in  one  corner  and  be  ready  for  death 
to  stow  us  away  in  another  corner?  If 
the  young  folks  of  Montreal  can  take  a 
second  slide  down  the  icy  hill  why  should 
I  not  hope  to  take  a  second  slide  down 
the  slope  of  eternity  ? 

But  excuse  this  digression.  I  was 
brought  to  the  mood  which  has  forced 
me  to  say  these  things  by  something  that 
occurred  last  night.  If  what  I  heard  can 
be  trusted,  this  second  toboggan-slide  for 
which  we  are  all  looking  will  be  accorded 
to  us,  and  that  thought  has  made  me  very 
cheerful  all  day.  I  looked  into  the  face 
of  Leo  during  my  brown  study,  and  as 
the  dear  fellow  put  his  paws  on  my 
shoulders  and  affectionately  snapped  at 
my  whiskers,  he  seemed  to  say,  "  My  mas- 


jr.Ks  IT  A  nxioy*  247 

ter,  will  you  go  on  that  second  toboggan- 
slide  down  the  eternal  hill  without  me  ? 
1  am  only  a  dog,  but  I  am  loyal,  and  per 
haps  you  would  miss  me  in  that  other 
life."  Then  I  answered,  4'  Leo,  you  faith 
ful  friend,  where  I  go  you  shall  go  too. 
If  there  is  immortality  for  me  there  must 
be  something  of  the  kind  for  you  also." 

Now  then  for  the  dream  I  had  last 
night.  I  call  it  a  dream  for  want  of  a 
more  appropriate  name,  but  was  it  only 
that  ? 

I  wish  I  were  a  magician,  that  I  might 
bring  to  the  camp  some  savant  who  knows 
all  about  the  nervous  system  and  the 
occult  forces  which  dwell  in  our  brain- 
cells.  I  am  so  mystified  by  what  occurred 
that  I  have  been  wondering  if  some  silent 
physical  revolution  has  been  going  on 
within  which  reached  its  culmination  yes 
terday.  Perhaps  this  savant  could  tell 
me.  and  explain  the  puzzle  on  well-known 
principles. 


248  BROWN  STUDIES. 

I  have  never  had  an  experience  of  the 
kind  before,  or  anything  like  it.  Surely 
I  am  not  so  old  that  I  have  become  child 
ish.  My  pulse  is  strong,  my  digestion  is 
good,  my  general  health  is  better  than  it 
has  been  since  my  boyhood,  and  yet  I  am 
dazed,  bewildered,  and  utterly  confused. 

Well,  if  it  was  not  a  dream,  conld  it 
have  been  a  vision?  I  have  heard  of 
such  things,  but  must  confess  I  never 
had  much  faith  in  them.  Besides,  it  has 
always  been  my  impression  that  only 
people  in  an  abnormal  state,  people  who 
are  more  or  less  hysterical,  whose  ima 
ginations  easily  run  away  with  them,  see 
these  strange  sights.  Of  course  I  have 
read  something — I  suppose  every  man 
has,  for  that  matter — about  psychology 
and  hypnotism,  but  I  have  looked  upon 
them  as  a  kind  of  fad,  without  any 
scientific  basis.  I  hurried  through  some 
strange  stories  in  the  Psychical  Review 
last  summer,  but  somehow  I  got  the  no- 


WAS  IT  A    77.S7OJV.'  249 

tion  that  I  was  reading  fables  or  distorted 
and  exaggerated  facts. 

"What  shall  I  say  now  ?  Am  I  to  take 
my  place  also  in  the  list  of  unbalanced 
creatures?  Or  can  it  be  true — but  that 
is  impossible. 

Let  me  think  again,  and  ask,  Why  is  it 
impossible  ?  or  still  another  question, 
namely,  Is  anything1  impossible  ?  or  a 
third  question,  Is  a  thing  impossible  be 
cause  it  lies  outside  of  the  range  of  our 
usual  experience? 

Do  you  believe,  does  any  one  whose 
mental  apparatus  is  in  good  order  be 
lieve,  that  under  any  conditions  whatever 
a  man  can  see  what  is  happening  a  thou 
sand  miles  away  ?  And  if  he  thinks  he 
sees  these  occurrences  is  it  because  his 
mind  is  stimulated  in  some  occult  way,  or 
is  it  that  he  is  made  up  of  two  different 
materials,  a  body  and  a  soul,  and  that 
while  the  body  is  confined  to  a  given 
space  the  soul  may  open  the  door  and 


250  BEOWN  STUDIES. 

take  flight  to  distant  localities,  stay  as 
long  as  it  pleases,  and  then  come  liome 
again,  go  through  the  same  door,  and 
occupy  its  old  place  ? 

What  am  I  talking  abont?  I  confess 
to  being  surprised  at  myself.  I  am  as 
tonished  that  I,  brought  up,  as  I  was,  in 
the  strictest  faith  of  the  church,  can  even 
allow  myself  to  entertain  such  ideas. 
And  yet  what  am  I  to  do  ?  There  is  my 
vision,  or  dream,  or  whatever  you  please 
to  call  it,  and  I  must  account  for  it. 

If  this  cannot  be  done  on  the  principles 
in  which  I  was  educated  I  must  hunt 
round  and  find  if  there  are  not  other 
principles  in  the  world  which  have  here 
tofore  escaped  my  notice,  and  which  will 
solve  my  problem. 

If  I  could  deny  the  facts,  if  my  memory 
were  blurred,  or  if  I  had  overheated  or 
overworked  myself,  and  so  taxed  my 
nerves  beyond  the  point  of  healthy  strain, 
I  would  instantly  brush  everything  aside 


ICJ.S  IT  A    VISION  I  251 

as  an  illusion,   and  so  end  the   contro 
versy. 

But  I  am  bound  to  be  fair  to  myself, 
and  will  not  dispose  of  this  matter  by 
strategy,  or  allow  my  prejudices  to  over 
whelm  it.  I  shall  meet  it  squarely,  and 
it'  by  and  by  I  discover  that  what  was  re 
vealed  is  true  I  will  readily  admit  a  good 
many  things  which  now  I  brusquely  deny. 

Let  me  tell  my  story  in  my  own  way, 
and,  if  I  seem  to  be  somewhat  excited, 
you  may  still  assure  yourself  that  I  shall 
tell  the  exact  truth  as  I  understand  it. 

John  came  into  my  room  soon  after 
supper  with  a  tremendous  armful  of 
wood, 

"They  are  hickory  logs,  every  one  of 
'em,"  he  said. 

u  And  I'm  in  just  the  mood  for  a  big- 
blaze." 

'•  Well,  sir,  I  guess  this  stuff  will  sat 
isfy  you.  I  hadn't  much  to  do  this  morn- 


252  KEOWN  STUDIES. 

ing  except  to  clean  my  gun  and  help  Sim 
with  the  chores ;  so  I  picked  out  the  best 
sticks  in  the  pile,  and  there  they  arc. 
You  won't  need  no  lamp,  sir,  for  when 
this  wood  gets  goin'  it'll  fill  the  room 
like  sunlight.'' 

Three  good-sized  logs  of  dry  pitch-pine 
for  a  foundation,  four  pieces  of  hickory 
as  large  around  as  your  thigh  on  top,  and 
sve  had  the  prophecy  of  as  fine  a  blaze  as 
you  ever  gazed  at. 

There  was  something  merry  and  musi 
cal  in  the  crackling  flames,  as  though  a 
regiment  were  firing  by  platoons.  I 
could  not  sit  still,  but  walked  back  and 
forth  in  front  of  the  huge  fireplace  Avith 
the  most  delightful  feeling  of  repose  and 
contentment  in  my  heart.  I  was  sorry 
that  the  season  was  drawing  to  its  close, 
and  the  time  approaching  which  I  had 
fixed  for  my  departure.  I  have  had  such 
an  enjoyable  winter,  full  of  pleasant 


WAS  IT  A    riSIOXt  253 

thoughts  and  varied  reminiscences  !  The 
loneliness  of  the  first  few  days  passed 
away,  and  I  have  not  since  missed  the 
familiar  faces  of  my  friends  in  New  York. 
The  solitude  has  charmed  me,  and  I  have 
fallen  in  love  with  it.  My  life  has  been 
simple,  agreeable,  and  in  every  way  prof 
itable. 

'•  Tell  me,  Leo,  haven't,  we  had  a  plea 
sant  time  together?  And  we  haven't 
longed  once  for  the  hubbub  and  hurry  of 
other  days,  have  we,  sir?" 

lie  said  nothing,  but  shook  his  head 
very  wisely,  and  wagged  his  tail,  as  though 
he  were  uttering  a  series  of  amens. 

After  half  an  hour  I  sat  down  in  my 
easy-chair,  for  the  spirit  of  reverie  had 
crept  over  me.  In  imagination  I  saw 
fantastic  figures  above  the  burning  logs. 
As  one  sees  faces  and  figures  in  the 
clouds,  so  I  saw  figures  and  faces  in  the 
flames.  They  danced  for  a  brief  moment 


254  BUOWX  STUDIES. 

iii  mad  glee,  and  tlien  disappeared  up 
the  chimney,  to  be  followed,  however,  by 
others  still  more  fantastical. 

Yes,  I  must  have  been  in  a  strange 
state  of  mind,  and  cannot  recall  anything 
like  it  in  my  past  experience. 

While  sitting  with  my  right  hand  rest 
ing  on  the  arm  of  the  chair  I  seemed  to 
step  otit  of  my  body,  and  stand  beside  it, 
looking  upon  it  with  mingled  curiosity 
and  astonishment.  I  felt  as  light  as  air, 
and  said  to  myself,  "This  must  be  what 
St.  Paul  calls  the  spiritual  body."  It  is 
true  that  I  looked  on  what  sat  in  the  chair 
with  a  kind  of  tenderness,  "but  the  sense 
of  freedom  which  I  soon  became  conscious 
of  was  almost  ecstatic,  and  it  seemed  as 
though  I  would  not  go  back  into  those 
narrow  quarters  again  for  worlds.  The 
body  was  so  clumsy,  so  heavy,  so  un 
comely,  so  uncouth  and  ungraceful,  while 
this  other  body,  on  the  contrary,  was  a 
delight,  a  dream,  a  poem. 


ll'AS  IT  A    riSIOX?  255 

Then  something  happened  which  per 
haps  you  may  explain ;  but  I  confess  that 
it  puzzled  me  at  the  time  and  has  con 
tinued  to  puzzle  me  ever  since.  I  moved 
away  from  my  body  toward  the  door, 
thinking  to  open  it  and  go  out  into  the 
starlight ;  but  to  my  surprise  I  found  that 
the  door  was  no  obstruction  whatever. 
I  simply  passed  through  it  as  the  sun's 
rays  pass  through  a  pane  of  glass.  When 
I  stood  in  front  of  the  camp  I  knew  that 
a  cold  wind  was  blowing,  and  that  it 
came  from  the  snow  banks  far  away  to 
the  north  of  us ;  but  I  was  not  chilled.  I 
could  feel  its  impact  and  hear  it  whistling 
through  the  forest,  but  was  not  affected 
by  it  in  the  least  degree. 

I  shall  never  be  able  to  tell  you  how 
the  stars  looked  that  night.  The  heavens 
were  an  astonishing  revelation  to  me. 
Not  only  did  I  see  with  perfectly  clear 
vision,  but  there  seemed  to  be  a  penetrat 
ing,  a  far-reaching  quality  to  my  sight 


256  BB01TX  STUDIES. 

which  doubled  the  number  of  glistening 
lights  above  me,  and  the  spectacle  was  so 
marvelous,  so  beautiful,  that  I  stood  en 
tranced. 

I  have  heard  of  a  boy  who  was  born 
near-sighted,  and  to  whom  all  nature  ap 
peared  to  be  dim  and  blurred.  He  had 
never  seen  the  trees  and  the  lakes  and 
the  mountains  as  we  see  them.  Some 
one  fitted  to  his  eyes  one  day  a  pair  of 
glasses,  and  then  bade  him  look.  He 
was  w^onderstruck,  awestruck,  for  a  new 
world  opened  to  him.  He  could  see  the 
changing  shadows  of  the  woods,  the  far 
away  ripple  on  the  lake,  the  boiling  stream 
let  tumbling  from  rock  to  rock  a  half- 
mile  away;  and  after  a  few  minutes  of 
ecstasy  he  burst  into  tears. 

In  the  same  way,  and  from  the  same 
cause,  was  I  also  overwhelmed.  I  was  in 
closer  relations  with  nature  than  ever  be 
fore.  I  actually  trembled  with  immea 
surable  delight,  and  a  wonderful  feeling 


/rj>'   IT  A 

of  reverence  crept  through  my  whole 
being.  I  said  to  myself,  ''When  my  eyes 
get  used  to  this  new  light  I  shall  see  the 
angels,  for  I  can  hear  the  rustling  of 
their  wings,  and  I  know  they  are  not  far 
away." 

Then  I  stepped  back  into  the  room  to 
get  another  glimpse  of  the  body.  It  was 
still  in  the  chair,  and  I  noticed  that  the 
breast  rose  and  fell  at  regular  intervals. 
'•It  is  not  dead,''  I  said,  ''only  in  some 
mysterious  way  I  have  stepped  out  of  it. 
I  shall  have  to  return  to  it  by  and  by," 
and  at  that  thought  I  shuddered.  It 
seemed  such  an  undesirable  home  to  live 
in  that  I  almost  hoped  the  heart  would 
cease  to  beat,  that  I  might  be  forever  free 
to  go  where  I  pleased. 

While  I  stood  there  Leo  awoke  from  a 
long  nap,  stretched,  yawned,  and  then 
looked  about  the  room.  He  approached 
my  body  in  the  usual  way,  with  a  wag  of 
the  tail,  snuffed  at  my  legs,  and  then  ap- 


258  BROWN  STUDIES. 

peared  to  be  confused  and  disappointed, 
Something  was  not  as  lie  expected  to 
find  it,  and  I  wondered  at  the  time  what 
it  could  be.  He  then  deliberately,  but 
it  seemed  to  me  rather  disconsolately, 
walked  around  the  chair  to  the  point  from 
which  he  started,  and  snuffed  at  my  legs 
a  second  time.  Not  satisfied,  he  sat  on 
his  haunches  for  a  full  minute  gazing 
into  the  face,  and  I  thought  that  perhaps 
his  confusion  arose  from  the  fact  that  the 
eyes  were  closed  and  the  body  appeared  to 
be  asleep.  On  ordinary  occasions,  when 
he  wished  to  wake  me  from  a  doze  he  put 
his  paws  on  my  knees,  and  gave  a  quick, 
sharp  bark,  as  though  to  say,  "  Come, 
master,  rouse  yourself."  But  this  time 
he  must  have  concluded  that  a  serious 
mishap  had  occurred,  for  he  exhibited 
signs  of  terror,  his  tongue  hung  out  of 
his  mouth,  his  eyes  had  an  expression  of 
agony  in  them,  and  he  uttered  a  pro 
longed  but  low  and  mournful  howl. 


n./,v  IT  A   nswst  259 

Scarcely  had  it  ended,  liowe\rer,  when 
he  apparently  caught  sight  of  me  stand 
ing  by  the  door.  With  a  single  leap  he 
reached  my  side,  but  turned  instantly, 
took  his  place  between  me  and  the  body, 
looked  first  at  one  and  then  at  the  other, 
and  trembled  in  evident  agony. 

I  have  heard  that  animals  can  see  spir 
its.  How  far  the  testimony  supporting 
such  a  statement  can  be  trusted  I  am 
unable  to  say,  but  in  this  instance  I  am 
sure  that  Leo  saw  wrhat  was  in  the  chair 
and  also  what  stood  by  the  door. 

My  only  hesitation  lies  in  the  fact  that 
I  do  not  know  whether  all  this  is  an  hal 
lucination,  and  whether  this  most  marvel 
ous  experience  is  to  be  relied  upon  or  not. 
I  can  only  declare  that  it  appeared  to  be 
real  at  the  time,  and  that  I  have  not  been 
able  since  then  to  make  it  appear  other 
wise. 

Just  then  the  thought  of  my  lost  love, 
lost  to  me  forever,  but  still  dear,  came 


260  mtOWX  XTUDU':$. 

into  my  mind.  The  most  intense  desire 
to  see  her  seized  me.  It  was  a  longing 
so  poignant,  so  sharp,  that  it  was  painful. 

This  ardor  seemed  to  be  an  impelling 
force,  and  I  new  with  incredible  speed 
through  the  darkness.  The  camp,  the 
lake,  the  mountains,  were  lost  to  view 
almost  instantly,  while  other  mountains 
and  lakes  came  within  range  of  my  as 
tonished  vision.  What  gave  direction  to 
my  flight  I  cannot  tell,  unless  it  was  that 
wonderful  instinct  which  enables  the 
homing  pigeon  to  fly  back  from  a  point, 
however  distant,  without  the  possibility 
of  error.  I  had  no  doubt  as  to  the  route 
I  should  take,  but  became  so  confused 
while  journeying  that  I  hardly  noticed 
the  landscape  that 'lay  far  below  me. 

When  I  came  to  myself  again  I  was 
walking  along  a  country  road,  on  either 
side  of  which  were  wild-flowers  in  rare 
abundance.  Only  a  few  minutes  before 
I  was  in  the  midst  of  March  cold,  snow, 


II.  IS    IT  A     t 'IS  I  OX?  261 

ice,  and  a  dead  vegetation,  but  now  the 
aii*  was  filled  with  fragrance,  and  I  was 
almost  oppressed  by  the  perfume  of 
orange-blossoms. 

Passing-  house  after  house,  I  began  to 
wonder  how  I  could  discover  where  She 
lived.  My  surprise  was  greatest,  how 
ever,  when,  as  I  came  to  a  certain  point 
on  the  road.  T  stood  still  and  found  it  im 
possible  to  proceed.  Something  held  me 
to  the  spot. 

Then  I  looked  np  at  the  house.  It  was 
beautifully  situated,  back  some  hundred 
feet  from  the  road,  an  old-fashioned  house, 
rather  dilapidated,  but  surrounded  by 
trees  of  exquisite  foliage. 

In  one  window  was  a  feeble  light  shin 
ing  through  the  curtains,  which  had  been 
carefully  drawn. 

Strange  thoughts  came  to  me  as  I  stood 
with  one  hand  resting  on  the  gate-post 
covered  with  blossoming  creepers.  "She 
is  there."  I  said  under  mv  breath,  '"and 


262  BUOU'X  STUDIES. 

is  suffering.  Will  she  know  me,  will  she 
even  be  able  to  see  me?  Can  I  do  any 
thing  to  relieve  her  distress,  can  I  help 
her  bear  her  great  burden  ? " 

There  was  no  selfishness  in  my  heart 
at  that  moment.  I  did  not  think  of  the 
disappointment  which  had  broken  my  life, 
nor  of  the  love  I  still  bore  her.  A  pure 
emotion  filled  my  whole  being,  sorrow  for 
her  grief  untinged  with  a  single  reference 
to  myself.  It  was  a  holy  love,  snch  as 
the  angels  have  for  one  another  in  heaven, 
where  there  is  neither  marriage  nor  giv 
ing  in  marriage. 

At  length  I  summoned  courage  to  enter. 
I  found  my  way  up  the  stairs  without 
difficulty.  Turning  to  the  right,  I  noticed 
that  the  chamber-door  was  ajar,  and  I 
heard  the  irregular  and  painful  breathing 
of  the  sick  man. 

The  next  moment  I  was  in  the  room. 
Standing  close  by  the  window  I  was  com 
paratively  in  shadow,  for  the  candle  on 


11' AS  IT  A 

the  mantelpiece  had  in  front  of  it  a  large 
book  to  keep  the  light  from  falling  on 
the  sleeper's  face.  This  was  a  great  re 
lief,  because  I  looked  upon  myself  as  an 
intruder.  A  sacredness  hedges  in  a  sick- 
rooni  which  must  needs  be  always  re 
spected,  and  under  ordinary  circumstances 
I  should  have  felt  no  inclination  to  cross 
that  threshold.  I  confess,  however,  to  a 
certain  curiosity  which  impelled  me,  since 
I  could  not  be  observed,  to  note  the  sur 
roundings  in  which  She  had  lived  so 
many  years. 

It  was  evident,  at  a  glance,  that  the 
household  had  need  to  practise  a  rigid 
economy,  but  there  was  everywhere  a 
simplicity  and  refinement  of  taste.  The 
pictures  on  the  walls  were  few,  and  their 
frames  were  in  a  worn  condition,  but  the 
engravings  were  of  the  best — old,  to  be 
sure,  and  somewhat  soiled  by  time,  but 
still  quite  worth  hanging  in  any  gentle 
man's  house.  On  the  table  between  the 


264  BROJl'X  STUDIES. 

windows,  and  on  another  table  at  the  foot 
of  the  bed,  were  bunches  of  wild-flowers, 
while  in  one  corner  was  a  small  bookcase 
containing  a  score  or  two  of  the  classics 
of  English  literature,  with  another  score 
of  French  and  German  novels. 

Sitting  at  the  bedside  of  the  poor  suf 
ferer,  with  her  back  toward  me,  was 
Margaret ;  and  when  I  first  caught  sight 

~  ~  ~ 

of  that  familiar  form,  now  bent  with  sad 
experiences,  I  had  for  an  instant  a  strong 
desire  to  get  away,  for  memories  of  the 
past  rushed  through  my  mind  with  such 
impetuous  fury  that  I  could  hardly  con 
tain  myself. 

I  cannot  tell  you  how  I  was  affected, 
but  I  am  certain  that  it  was  by  a  different 
kind  of  feeling  from  what  I  should  have 
had  if  I  had  brought  my  body  with  me. 
It  is  true  that  I  suffered  pain  at  sight  of 
her,  but  it  was  the  kind  of  pain  which  a 
spirit  might  suffer,  and  there  was  nothing 
physical  or  even  earthly  in  it. 


11'AS   IT  A    FAS7O.V.'  265 

Soon  the  sleeper  moved  and  woke. 
Margaret  bent  over  him,  put  her  cool 
hand  on  his  hot  forehead,  and  whispered 
something  which  I  conld  not  hear. 

But  I  did  hear  what  followed. 

"  Margaret,"  and  the  voice  was  hollow 
and  feeble,  "  how  late  is  it  ? " 

"  Ten  minutes  after  ten,"  in  the  low, 
quiet,  musical  tones  which  had  so  often 
thrilled  me. 

•'  I  think  I'm  going,  Margaret." 

She  shook  her  head,  and  bade  him  try 
to  sleep  once  more. 

''  Xo,"  he  replied,  "  my  hour  has  come. 
I  am  sure  of  it,  Margaret." 

Then  came  a  moment  of  silence,  broken 
only  by  a  sigh. 

';  You  have  been  a  good  wife,  dear  one, 
but — "then  he  stopped  and  gave  her  a 
searching  gaze,  as  though  he  would  read 
her  soul. 

She  smoothed  his  hand  in  a  half-caress 
ing  wav. 


26G  liltOIVN  STL' DIES. 

He  summoned  strength  to  finish  the 
sentence :  "  But,  Margaret,  it  was  a  mis 
take.  It  ought  not  to  have  been.  I  have 
always  known  it,  dear,  but  had  not  the 
courage  to  say  it.  •  Xow  I  am  near  the 
end,  and  I  think  I  shall  die  easier  if  I  tell 
you  this. 

"  It  was  a  mistake,''  lie  whispered  a 
minute  later,  and  with  those  words  on  his 
lips  he  fell  asleep. 

I  could  stand  it  no  longer.  My  whole 
being  throbbed,  and  I  became  uncontrol 
lably  excited. 

A  mistake  !  How  could  I  fail  to  know 
what  those  words  meant '?  Did  they  not 
refer  to  that  weird  and  ghastly  episode 
when  she  was  frenzied  with  baseless  jeal 
ousy  and  gave  her  hand  to  Edward  partly 
in  revenge  and  partly  in  desperation  ? 

A  mistake !  She  must  have  learned 
when  it  was  too  late  that  there  was  no 
cause  for  our  estrangement,  that  it  was 
all  the  work  of  a  mischievous  creature,  a 


IT  A   riswxt  267 

kind  of  liuniaii  spider,  who  seemed  to  hate 
every  man  and  woman  who  loved  each 
other,  and  busied  herself  in  exasperating 
them.  Of  course  Margaret  knew  that  I 
had  never  married,  and  perhaps  recalled 
the  first  line  of  that  poem  which  I  dedi 
cated  to  her: 

"Only  ono  face  in  all  the  world  for  me." 

Overcome  by  my  emotions,  I  strode 
across  the  room,  determined  to  declare 
myself.  I  stood  at  the  foot  of  the  bed, 
and  called  out,  in  tones  which  seemed  as 
loud  as  those  of  a  church-bell,  "  Marga 
ret  !  Margaret !  " 

For  an  instant  I  thought  she  heard  me, 
for  she  raised  her  head  as  though  in  the 
act  of  listening,  but  immediately  after 
ward  resumed  her  old  position  and  fixed 
her  eyes  on  the  dying  man. 

I  suffered  tortures  at  the  thought  that 
I  was  invisible  and  could  not  make  her 
recognize  me.  I  even  went  to  her  side 


268  nnoirx  STUDIES. 

and  placed  my  hand  on  hers,  hoping  that 
by  contact  she  would  feel  me  near. 

Perhaps  she  did.  At  any  rate,  she 
looked  np,  then  rose  from  her  chair,  went 
to  the  other  side  of  the  room,  and  stood 
there  for  thirty  seconds  looking  at  a  little, 
old,  framed  photograph  on  the  wall. 

I  followed,  and,  peering  over  her  shoul 
der,  saw  a  picture  of  myself. 

At  that  I  knelt,  took  her  hand  in  mine, 
and  reverently  kissed  it.  But  she  took 
no  notice  of  the  act,  and  soon  went  back 
to  her  place  by  the  sick  man's  side. 

Just  before  twelve  Edward  roused  once 
more,  and  it  was  clear  that  the  last  mo 
ments  had  arrived.  His  breathing  was 
slow  and  short,  and  there  was  the  expres 
sion  in  his  eyes  which  only  death  can  put 
there. 

He  looked  steadily  at  Margaret,  drew 
his  poor,  wan  hand  from  under  the  cover 
lid,  placed  it  in  hers,  and  tried  to  say 
something,  but  failed. 


JJ'JS  IT  A    VISION?  269 

Then  he  turned  as  though  to  take  a 
last  look  at  the  room,  and  while  doing  so 
his  eyes  rested  on  me.  A  kind  of  sur 
prise  kindled  in  them,  and  with  all  his 
remaining  strength  he  stretched  both 
hands  in  my  direction,  whispered  hoarsely, 
"  Clarence  !  Clarence  !  "  and  then  fell  back 
in  a  kind  of  stupor. 

I  am  sure  he  saw  me.  It  could  not 
have  been  a  coincidence.  I  cannot  ex 
plain  it,  and  will  not  attempt  to,  but  that 
man's  soul,  half  freed  from  his  body,  saw 
my  soul  standing  at  the  foot  of  the  bed, 
and,  recognizing  me,  called  me  by  name. 
I  have  never  had  a  doubt  of  that,  and 
never  shall  have. 

I  admit  that  it  is  incredible,  but  are 
there  not  instances  of  a  similar  nature  in 
the  history  of  nearly  every  family  which 
has  made  the  acquaintance  of  death '? 
Who  shall  say  that  they  do  not  mean 
what  they  seem  to  mean  ? 

You  may  be  enmeshed  in  skepticism, 


270  BKOWN  STUDIES. 

and  summon  a  formidable  array  of  argu 
ments  against  the  immortal  life ;  but  one 
snch  experience  as  that  seals  your  lips, 
and  debate  becomes  an  impossibility. 
There  stands  the  fact,  which  you  can  no 
more  deny  than  you  can  deny  any  other 
patent  fact  of  yoiir  daily  life.  It  is  vivid, 
startling-,  thrilling,  but  still  it  is  a  fact, 
and  no  amount  of  thinking  will  brush  it 
aside  without  brushing  aside  at  the  same 
time  every  other  event  which  you  have 
always  regarded  as  reality. 

At  the  end  of  about  ten  minutes  Ed 
ward  slowly  opened  his  eyes  and  gazed 
about  in  a  dazed  sort  of  way,  as  one  does 
when  he  has  been  in  a  bright  light  and 
then  falls  upon  sudden  darkness.  At 
length  he  seemed  to  gather  himself  to 
gether,  making,  as  it  was  plain  to  me,  a 
mighty  effort. 

He  whispered,  "Paper  and  pencil/' 
Margaret,  too,  was  bewildered,  and  for 
a  moment  thought  his  mind  was  wander- 


WAS  IT  A    VISION?  271 

ing\  But  his  voice  grew  more  imperative, 
and  a  second  time  lie  cried,  feebly: 

"  Paper  and  pencil !  Quick  !  I  have 
no  time  to  spare  !  " 

She  brought  him  a  pad  and  a  pencil. 

He  wrote  about  two  pages,  I  judged, 
signed  the  note,  and  folded  it. 

I  was  curious  to  know  the  contents  of 
that  letter,  for  the  situation  and  the  cir 
cumstances  were  rather  remarkable  ;  but 
though  I  was  only  a  spirit,  and  apparently 
invisible,  it  struck  me  that  the  incident 
was  not  one  for  me  to  inquire  into,  and 
so  I  maintained  my  position. 

A  moment  later  he  said,  "  Margaret !  " 

••  Yes,  dear/' 

'•An  envelope." 

He  placed  the  note  in  the  envelope, 
sealed  it,  wrote  some  one's  name  on  it, 
and  handed  it  to  his  wife. 

She  read  the  superscription  and  heaved 
a  great  sigh. 

''In  good  time,"  said  the  dying  man, 


272  BROWN  STUDIES. 

u  you  will  find  him.  It  is  your  fate.  De 
liver  it  to  him  personally." 

She  shook  her  head,  as  though  the  task 
would  be  an  unwelcome  one,  but  he  an 
swered  her  gesture  by  saying,  a  It  is  right. 
I  wish  it." 

With  that  he  turned  his  head  to  one 
side,  breathed  heavily  for  a  few  moments, 
and  then  all  was  still. 

Margaret  was  alone  with  her  dead,  or 
at  least  thought  she  was. 

She  was  not  alone  though,  for  I  was 
there  with  her. 

I  looked  at  the  clock,  and  it  was  just 
three  minutes  past  twelve. 

"What  happened  immediately  afterward 
I  do  not  remember.  I  only  recall  in  very 
dim  fashion  that  I  had  orders  from  some 
source,  though  whence  they  came  I  can 
not  say,  to  return  at  once  to  my  camp. 
I  suppose  I  must  have  crawled  back  into 
my  body  on  my  arrival,  but  have  no  rec 
ollection  whatever  of  doing  so. 


WAS  IT  A    VISIOKt  273 

I  only  know  that  I  was  roused  by  John, 
who  put  his  hand  on  my  shoulder  in  rather 
rough  fashion. 

"You  were  so  sound  asleep  I  could 
hardly  wake  you,  sir." 

"  Ah  !  is  that  you,  John  f  I  believe  I 
am  a  bit  dazed." 

"I  called,  sir,  and  you  didn't  answer. 
Then  I  thought  it  best  to  wake  you  in 
any  way  I  could,  but  had  to  shake  you 
with  all  my  might.'' 

"  Yes,  yes  ;  thank  you,  John.  I  never 
slept  so  in  my  life  before.  Is  it  late  ? " 

"  Time  for  bed,  sir." 

"What  is  the  hour?" 

"Just  three  minutes  and  a  half  past 
twelve,  sir.'' 

Had  I  really  made  the  journey  from  Flor 
ida  to  the  Adirondacks  in  thirty  seconds  ? 

But  I  was  in  no  frame  of  mind  to  think 
the  problem  out,  for  I  was  confused  and 
perplexed,  dazed  and  bewildered. 

"  Come,  Leo,  let's  to  bed." 


274  BROWN  STUDIES. 

I  ought  to  add  to  this  chapter  a  very 
remarkable  verification  of  the  apparent 
fact  that  in  some  way  or  other  I  was  actu 
ally  present  and  witnessed  that  death-bed 
scene  a  thousand  miles  distant  from  these 
woods. 

After  I  had  retired  on  that  eventful 
night  I  was  naturally  unable  to  sleep.  I 
constantly  said  to  myself,  "  It  was  an  un 
usually  vivid  dream — nothing  more;  and 
when  you  take  your  family  physician  into 
your  confidence  he  will  explain  it  on  purely 
scientific  grounds,  and  show  you,  first,  that 
the  soul  can  never  leave  the  body  except 
when  it  leaves  it  for  good,  and,  second, 
that  this  apparent  journey  over  so  great 
a  distance  in  so  short  a  space  of  time  is 
not  merely  incredible,  but  impossible." 

But  though  I  argued  with  myself  in 
this  way,  and  made  a  determined  effort 
to  drop  asleep,  I  was  not  satisfied,  and  did 
not  become  even  drowsy.  I  tossed  rest 
lessly,  listening  to  the  measured  tick  of 
the  clock,  wondering  if  I  had  gone  mad. 


WAS   IT  A     VISION?  275 

The  clock  struck  one,  but  I  was  wider 
a  wake  than  ever.  I  could  hear  the  labored 
breathing  of  the  two  guides  in  the  next 
room,  and  the  suppressed  growl  or  moan 
of  the  dog,  who  was  perhaps  chasing  some 
imaginary  game,  and  these  drove  me  wild. 

Then  the  clock  struck  two.  I  sat  up 
in  bed  and  watched  the  flickering  flames 
in  the  fireplace.  They  shot  across  the 
dark  room  in  a  ghastly  way,  and  painted 
fantastic  figures  on  the  opposite  wall. 
The  air  seemed  too  heavy  to  breathe,  and 
through  sheer  nervousness  I  found  myself 
gasping.  My  heart  went  like  a  trip-ham 
mer,  and  my  head  was  hot. 

I  could  have  sworn  that  there  were  in 
that  room  invisible  beings,  for  I  felt  them, 
and  their  presence  oppressed  me  beyond 
the  power  of  words  to  describe. 

At  last,  and  just  as  that  demoniac  clock 
struck  three,  I  cried  aloud,  '•  T  can  stand 
this  no  longer.  Unless  I  get  relief  in  some 
way  I  shall  die."  With  that  I  sprang  out 
of  bed  and  hastilv  dressed  mvself.  It 


276  RROIVX  STUDIES. 

occurred  to  me  that  it  might  be  well  to 
jot  down  my  impressions,  and  the  date, 
and  the  exact  hour  when  I  saw  Edward 
Waring  die.  This  was  not  a  difficult  task, 
for  it  has  always  been  my  habit  to  keep  a 
journal. 

The  mental  labor  connected  with  this 
gave  me  great  comfort,  and  when  I  had 
finished,  just  as  the  clock  struck  four,  I 
found  to  my  great  delight  that  I  was 
positively  drowsy,  and  in  less  than  fifteen 
minutes  was  fast  asleep. 

It  was  on  the  5th  of  March  that  this 
strange  thing  happened  to  me,  and  dur 
ing  the  next  few  days  I  managed  to  re 
gain  control  of  myself  and  look  upon  the 
whole  affair  as  one  of  those  curious  hal 
lucinations  of  which  medical  books  are 
so  full.  My  nervous  system,  I  concluded, 
had  received  a  sudden  shock,  and  these 
effects  were  produced  by  the  imagination, 
which  dug  up  from  my  brain-cells  an  odd 


II'.IS    IT  A     riSIOX!  277 

lot  of  impressions  and  wove  them  into  the 
shape  of  a  vision. 

On  the  eighth  day  I  received  a  letter 
from  my  cousin  in  Florida.  u  Ah  !  "  I  said 
to  myself,  "  now  I  shall  discover  how  I 
have  been  deceived." 

Still  I  hesitated  to  open  the  letter,  partly 
because  what  had  happened  had  come  to 
be  rather  sacred  to  me,  and  I  did  not 
wish  to  have  the  delusion  destroyed,  and 
partly  because,  if  the  delusion  was  de 
stroyed,  I  should  feel  that  I  had  fallen 
into  an  abnormal  condition  both  of  mind 
and  body,  which  was  an  intensely  dis 
agreeable  thought. 

Judge,  therefore,  of  my  surprise  when 
I  read  these  paragraphs  : 

••  Edward  Waring  has  been  a  great  suf 
ferer  since  I  last  wrote  you.  We  all  did 
what  we  could,  but  fate  was  against  the 
poor  fellow.  The  disease  had  worked  in 
sidiously,  and  remedial  agencies  were  too 
late  in  their  arrival. 


278  BKOWX  STUDIES. 

"I  may  tell  you  confidentially,  since 
it  is  all  over,  that  the  marriage  was  in 
every  way  unfortunate.  Both  Edward 
and  Margaret  recognized  that  they  were 
unsuited  to  each  other;  but  they  stood 
nobly  by  their  contract,  and  furnished 
an  example  of  patience,  of  suffering  in 
silence,  and  of  forbearance,  which  others 
may  well  follow.  He  was  gentle  and  kind 
to  a  degree,  and  she  was — well,  she  was 
a  saint,  and  deserves  to  be  canonized. 

"  But  the  end  came  at  last.  He  knew 
he  was  going,  and  the  parting  must  have 
been  pathetic.  There  are  some  details 
which  I  cannot  trust  myself  to  put  in 
writing.  When  I  see  you  you  shall  know 
all,  and  when  you  do  know  all  you  will 
be  as  greatly  surprised  as  I  was  when 
Margaret  confided  them  to  me. 

"  Let  it  suffice  that  Edward  died  quietly, 
peacefully,  and  with  a  calm  submission  to 
the  will  of  God.  He  breathed  his  last  on 


WAS  IT  A    VISIONf  279 

the  night  of  March  5th,  at  exactly  three 
minutes  past  twelve  o'clock." 

I  was  so  astounded  at  all  this  that  the 
letter  dropped  from  my  hands  and  my 
eyes  filled  with  tears. 

The  theory  of  hallucination  was  appa 
rently  disposed  of.  My  nervous  system 
was  not  out  of  order,  and  I  had  not  suf 
fered  from  temporary  aberration  of  mind. 

It  became  as  clear  to  me  as  the  daylight 
that  on  that  night  I  was  by  the  bedside 
of  Edward  Waring  and  saw  him  die.  I 
can  account  for  the  facts  in  no  other  way. 

But  how  I  accomplished  the  feat,  by 
what  means  it  became  possible  for  me  to 
defy  the  laws  of  time  and  space — that  is 
beyond  my  reckoning,  and  I  dare  not  even 
attempt  to  explain  it. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

BALKED     BY     FATE. 

WELL,  the  time  has  come  to  break  up. 
I  have  stayed  two  weeks  longer  than  the 
holiday  allotted  to  me,  and  yet  there  are 
strange  regrets  in  my  heart  at  thought 
of  saying  good-by  to  the  old  camp. 

What  happy  days  and  nights  I  have 
had  here !  My  nerves  were  rather  un 
strung  when  I  met  Dr.  Van  Nest  in  Broad 
way  last  autumn,  but  now  they  are  like 
so  many  threads  of  steel.  My  muscles, 
also,  were  soft — for  what  exercise  can  a 
man  get  in  a  city  ? — but  since  I  have  been 
here  I  have  cut  down  forty  good-sized 
trees — all  my  own  trees,  too — and  split 
them  into  fire-wood.  Besides,  I  have  had 
long  tramps  with  my  gun,  have  skated  on 
280 


ALL    MY    OWN    TISEES,    TOO.      Ptl'Jr   :XO. 


HALKE1)   JiY  FATE.  281 

the  lake  whenever  opportunity  offered, 
have  taken  long  excursions  with  the  ice 
boat,  have  cut  holes  in  iee  two  feet  thick 
and  fished  for  trout,  and  have  had  all  the 
fresh  air  I  wanted.  I  am  as  tough  as  a 
hickory-limb,  as  brown  as  a  cake  of  Mail- 
lard's  chocolate,  and  have  an  appetite — 
hut  concerning  that  you  had  better  con 
sult  Sim.  I  think  lie  will  say  that  I  have 
done  entire  justice  to  his  skill  as  a  cook. 

And  now  I  must  go.  Leave  the  camp, 
and  these  blue  skies,  and  these  clouds, 
just  as  the  spring  opens  and  the  crocuses 
are  welcoming  the  new  season  ?  That 
seems  hard.  I  love  the  old  place,  yes,  I 
love  every  blessed  thing  about  it.  Per 
haps  it  has  faults,  but  I  cannot  see  them. 
Possibly  it  has  inconveniences,  but  I 
have  not  discovered  them. 

•'What  say  you,  Leo?  Have  you  had 
a  good  time — as  good  a  time  as  your 
master  has  had  ? " 

The  dear  fellow  looked  at  me  quizzi- 


282  BROWN  STUDIES. 

cally,  wagged  his  tail  in  a  very  mournful 
way,  and  seemed  to  answer,  "  You  know 
that  all  outdoors  is  none  too  much  for  a 
dog.  You  ma}--  like  the  noise  and  dust  of 
the  city,  but  you  can't  expect  me  to  share 
your  enthusiasm. " 

"  So  you  don't  want  to  go  back,  eh  ? "  I 
asked. 

He  sat  on  his  haunches,  opened  his 
mouth  in  an  expectant  way,  looked  at  me 
rather  sadly  with  those  two  great  brown 
eyes,  which  are  so  full  of  eloquence,  and 
then  with  a  short  staccato  bark  walked 
off  into  one  corner,  indulged  in  a  long 
yawn,  and  lay  down. 

I  knew  what  he  meant,  and  it  was  this : 
"  Master,  why  do  you  ask  me  such  a  fool 
ish  question  ?  I  don't  want  to  hurt  your 
feelings  with  an  appropriate  reply,  and  so 
choose  to  keep  silent.  But  is  the  spring 
nothing  in  a  glorious  country  like  this  ? 
Don't  you  care  to  see  the  sun  climbing 
higher  in  the  heavens,  and  the  stars  that 
are  hidden  in  the  winter  come  out  in  their 


BALKED   BY  FATE.  283 

beauty,  and.  the  maples  and  ashes  and 
birches  putting  forth  their  new  leaves, 
and  the  green  grass  creeping  over  the 
ground  us  though  some  one  were  lay 
ing  a  carpet,  and—  but  that  was 
enough.  I  turned  and  looked  out  of  the 
window. 

"  The  dog  is  right,"  I  said  to  myself. 
"  Every  season  is  beautiful  in  the  coun 
try.  Nature  is  a  wonderful  old  dame. 
She  gives  us  something  unique  in  winter, 
when  the  hills  and  valleys  are  asleep,  and 
the  north  wind  sings  its  lullaby ;  she 
changes  the  scene  to  one  of  inexpressible 
loveliness  in  the  spring,  when  the  world 
rouses  itself  from  slumber,  and  the  hum 
of  a  new  life  is  heard  everywhere ;  when 
the  farmer  drives  his  team  afield,  and 
with  plow  and  harrow  turns  up  the  invig 
orated  sod  and  smooths  it  for  his  plant 
ing  ;  she  scatters  flowers  by  every  roadside 
in  summer,  and  takes  pleasure  in  exhib 
iting  that  marvelous  alchemy  by  which 
the  wild  rose  and  honeysuckle  can  distil 


284  BEOll'y  STUDIES. 

the  perfume  that  makes  the  air  fragrant, 
and  by  which  the  kernels  of  corn  and 
wheat  multiply  themselves  with  such  gen 
erous  prodigality  that  the  barns  are  filled 
to  bursting  •  and  she  throws  a  somber  hue 
over  everything  in  autumn,  the  breezes 
singing  in  the  minor  key  as  they  sweep 
through  the  branches,  great  flocks  of 
birds  scenting  the  coming  snowfall  and, 
under  the  leadership  of  a  mysterious  in 
stinct,  winging  their  long  flight  over 
mountains  and  waters  in  search  of  a 
friendlier  clime. 

"  Yes,  every  season  has  its  charm ;  and 
if  I  could  have  my  own  way  I  would  linger 
here,  live  and  die  here :  live  in  peace  and 
contentment,  and,  dying,  sleep  under  one 
of  these  huge  forest-trees,  with  the  twit 
tering  birds  to  sing  my  requiem. 

"  But,  Leo,  dear  dog —  " 

With  that  he  slowly  rose. 

"  But,  Leo,  I  can't  do  it." 

I  could  see  in  his  eyes  the  question, 
'•Whv  not?" 


BALKED   BY  FATE.  285 

"  I'll  toll  }TOU  a  secret,  Leo,  but  will  you 
promise  to  keep  it  ? " 

He  looked  straight  into  my  face. 

"Do  you  promise,  sir?" 

He  gave  a  quick  bark,  and  then  I  knew 
my  secret  would  be  safe. 

''  I  have  news,  sir." 

lie  took  three  steps  forward  and  as 
sumed  a  listening  attitude. 

"  She  has  sold  her  plantation,  and  is 
coming  North.  Do  you  understand,  sir  ? 
Don't  you  see  that,  beautiful  as  this  spot 
is,  I  can't  stay?  Doesn't  it  enter  your 
canine  mind  that  I  should  be  restless  and 
unhappy  anywhere  except  in  the  place 
where  I  can  see  Her?" 

Then  Leo  came  close  to  me,  rose  on  his 
hind  legs,  placed  his  great  paws  on  my 
chest,  and  kissed  my  cheeks  with  his 
rough  tongue. 

It  was  a  good  omen,  or  at  least  I  chose 
to  so  interpret  it. 

As  I  stood  on  the  veranda  five  minutes 
later,  taking  a  tender  farewell  of  everv- 


286  BROWN  STUDIES. 

tiling,  I  could  not  help  saying  to  myself, 
"  Perhaps,  after  all,  this  is  not  a  farewell. 
Sometime  I  may  come  back   here,  and 
possibly  not  alone.     Who  knows  ? " 
Who  can  help  dreaming  ? 
And  why  should  we  not  dream  f 
"  The  solitude  of  two  together."     That 
is  what  the  poet  says,  and  it  is  what  I 
have  longed  for  many  a  year. 

"And  all  I  am  I  am  through  love  of  thce." 

I  kept  repeating  the  line  in  a  half-whis 
per.  ''  Through  love  of  thee  ! ''  Yes,  and 
if  1  question  my  heart  closely  I  find  that 
that  love  is  just  the  same  as  ever ;  a  little 
more  quiet,  mayhap,  but  still  unchanged. 

Then  I  recalled  an  incident  in  the  long- 
ago.  Margaret  and  I  were  sitting  under 
an  elm  on  the  hillside.  We  had  had  a 
long  walk  from  Bedford  to  Katonah,  and 
from  where  we  sat  we  could  see  the  country 
for  fifty  miles  around. 

She  looked  and  looked,  but  said  noth- 


BALKED   BY  FATE.  287 

ing.  The  clouds  were  resting  on  the  sum 
mit  of  a  long  range  to  the  westward,  and 
the  long  intervale  on  this  side  was  dotted 
with  patches  of  wood  and  with  farmers' 
cottages  snuggled  in  convenient  nooks 
and  corners,  out  of  the  way  of  the  sharp 
breezes  of  winter.  It  was  a  wonderful 
scene,  made  still  more  beautiful  by  three 
lakes  scattered  over  the  landscape,  and  by 
the  heavy  cumuli  that  floated  lazily  over 
head. 

Margaret  said  nothing.  She  never  said 
anything  when  she  felt  most  deeply. 
Hers  was  a  strange  nature,  and  she  used 
speech  very  sparingly.  But  I  could  see  that 
she  \vas  deeply  impressed,  and  at  last  her 
eyes  filled  with  tears,  as  she  shyly  placed 
her  hand  in  mine  and  grasped  it  tightly. 

I  understood  her  mood  and  kept  silent. 

At  length  I  ventured,  "Margaret,  you 
love  nature  !  " 

She  simply  nodded  her  head,  but  made 
no  further  reply. 


288  HROWX  STUDIES. 

"  And  could  you  be  content  to  live  far 
from  the  city  ? " 

"  The  farther  the  better/'  she  answered. 

"  You  wouldn't  weary  of  it '? " 

''  Not  if  I  had  good  company,"  she  re 
plied,  with  an  arch  look  and  a  quiet  smile. 

So  as  I  stood  on  that  veranda  I  won 
dered  if  I  might  not  sometime  visit  the 
camp  again. 

u  Not  if  I  had  good  company  !  "  Would 
it  ever  be  my  lot  to  be  that  company  ? 

Possibly  you  are  smiling  at  thought  of 
a  bachelor  of  forty  indulging  in  such  ro 
mantic  visions. 

Well,  age  and  sentiment  have  no  an 
tagonisms.  When  a  man  is  so  far  ad 
vanced  in  years,  or  has  so  cooled,  that  he 
has  no  sentiment,  it  is  about  time  to  pack 
his  gripsack  and  go  to  heaven. 

I  gave  Sim  a  silver  watch  which  I  had 
carried  all  winter,  and  to  John  I  gave  my 
rifle.  All  the  remaining  household  goods 


HALKED   1>Y   FATE.  289 

were  distributed  between  them,  share  and 
share  alike.  They  are  right  royal  good 
fellows,  and  never  once  have  they  grum 
bled.  They  are  steady,  strong-headed, 
honest-hearted  men  of  the  best  New  Eng 
land  type,  and  when  we  shook  hands  it 
was  with  sincere  regret  on  the  part  of  all 
three — on  the  part  of  all  four,  indeed,  for 
Leo  gave  his  paw  to  both  of  them,  and 
said  in  his  own  fashion,  "  If  the  signs  of 
the  times  can  be  interpreted  by  a  St.  Ber 
nard,  we  shall  meet  again  on  this  very 
veranda,  and  in  front  of  this  very  lake. 
So  I  will  not  say  good-by,  but  au  revoi)'" 

I  have  been  in  Xew  York  something 
over  two  months,  and  it  is  now  the  middle 
of  May.  During  the  first  week  I  was  the 
nnhappiest  creature  imaginable.  In  the 
first  place,  I  could  not  breathe.  It  seemed 
as  though  I  was  cabined,  cribbed,  con 
fined.  The  air  was  full  of  dust,  and  I 
became  so  nervously  irritable  that  I  should 


290  MiOII'X  STCVUtS. 

have  gone  straight  back  to  the  woods  but 
for  one  thing.  In  the  second  place,  I  was 
in  daily  search  of  Her,  and  it  is  possible 
that  my  Avaiit  of  success  had  something 
to  do  with  my  nervous  irritation. 

I  got  at  last  into  such  a  condition  that 
I  called  at  the  office  of  my  old  friend, 
Dr.  Van  Nest. 

"Ah  !  "  he  cried,  heartily,  "back  again, 
eh?  Well,  a  cordial  welcome,  my  dear 
fellow.  But  what's  the  matter?  You 
look  haggard." 

Then  he  felt  of  my  pulse,  listened  to 
my  heart-beats,  and  put  me  through  a 
very  rugged  cross-examination. 

At  the  end  he  ejaculated  "  Hm  !  •'  with 
considerable  emphasis,  and  then  added, 
"  I  see,  I  see." 

"  I'm  glad  of  that,"  I  retorted,  sharply, 
"  for  it's  a  good  deal  more  than  I  can  do." 

"  You  are  as  sound  as  a  nut,  Clarence. 
Your  heart  goes  like  the  tick  of  a  clock. 
How  about  your  digestion  ? " 


HALKKI)   BY  FATE.  291 

"  Perfect,"  I  replied. 

A  second  time  he  muttered  that  omi 
nous  "Ilm  !" 

'•Well,  what  do  yon  mean  by  that?"  I 
asked. 

"  Had  any  business  troubles  ? " 

"  None." 

''Haven't  lost  any  money?" 

"  Xot  a  dollar." 

"Restless  at  night?" 

"•  Yes,  confound  it !  I  can't  sleep  at 
all." 

"  Clarence,  I'm  going  to  be  frank  with 
you — I  can't  cure  you.  I  couldn't  write  a 
prescription  that  would  do  you  a  particle 
of  good." 

'•Why  not,  pray?" 

"Because  your  trouble  is  mental,  not 
physical.  There's  something  on  your 
mind." 

This  time  it  was  I  who  said  "Hm  !  " 

"  Yes,  you  have  all  the  symptoms  of  a 
very  serious  disease,"  and  the  wretch  drew 


292  BltOWX  STUDIES. 

his  mouth  down  until  lie  looked  the  pic 
ture  of  despair. 

"  And  so  you  do  know  what  the  matter 
is  with  me,  after  all  ? " 

"  I  thiuk  so." 

"  Wliat  is  it  ?     Is  it  curable  ? " 

"Yes,  it  is  curable,  but  not  by  drugs. 
Clarence,  excuse  me,  my  dear  boy,  but — 
you  are  in  love." 

I  said  something  about  doctors  who 
know  too  much  for  their  own  good,  and 
then  abruptly  took  my  leave  in  disgust. 

Of  course  the  doctor  was  right,  but  how 
did  he  discover  my  secret?  Can  other 
people  find  it  out  also  ?  I  do  not  want  to 
go  into  the  street  with  a  placard  on  my 
breast  and  the  legend,  "  I'm  in  love ;  pity 
me,"  so  I  rushed  into  my  apartment  and 
stayed  there  for  twenty-four  hours.  I 
felt  humiliated,  and  was  disgusted  with 
myself. 

I  soon  learned,  however,  that  Dr.  Van 
Nest  was  the  only  one  of  mv  friends  who 


BALKED   BY  FATE.  293 

suspected  the  truth,  and  that  greatly  re 
lieved  me. 

He  has  since  confessed  that  his  diag 
nosis  was  a  random  shot,  Imt  that  my 
embarrassment  convinced  him  that  lie 
had  hit  the  mark. 

"  Why,  Clarence,1'  he  said,  '•  I  never 
dreamed  of  such  a  thing.  I  always  sup 
posed  you  were  eternally  ordained  to  be 
a  bachelor.  I  was  puzzled  by  your  de 
pression,  for  T  could  find  no  cause  for  it, 
and  so,  believing  that  yon  were  the  last 
man  in  the  world  to  fall  in  love,  I  jok 
ingly  declared  that  that  was  your  malady. 
L  bowled  you  over,  though,  the  firt-t  time, 
didn't  1?  In  the  words  of  Emerson,  'I 
builded  better  than  I  knew.' " 

But  where  had  Margaret  hidden  her 
self?  That  was  the  mystery. 

Of  course  she  would  take  no  pains  to 
find  me.  I  knew  her  too  well  to  dream 
of  that.  And  I  had  absolutely  no  clue  to 


294  lUlOWN  STUDIES. 

her.  My  cousin  simply  wrote,  "  She  is  in 
New  York,  or  at  least  I  suppose  she  is, 
but  she  would  tell  me  nothing'  of  her 
plans."  Did  she  want  me  to  find  her? 
Suppose  she  did  not !  Then  my  condi 
tion  would  be  worse  than  ever. 

My  imagination  was  at  work,  and  a 
very  heavy  time  I  had  of  it.  I  conjured 
up  all  sorts  of  possibilities — such  as  her 
having1  grown  cold  to  me,  having*  forgot 
ten  me  altogether — and  at  night  got  my 
self  into  such  a  fever  of  excitement  that 
I  frequently  heard  the  clock  strike  the 
hours  until  sunrise. 

I  do  not  believe  there  is  any  misery  in 
the  Avorld  which  will  compare  with  that 
of  a  man  who  has  given  his  whole  heart- 
to  a  woman,  but  does  not  know  whether 
she  bestows  even  a  passing  thought  on 
him. 

Once  I  had  a  most  excruciating  ex 
perience.  I  went  to  Grace  Church  on  a 


BALKED   BY  FATE.  295 

beautiful  June  morning:,  hoping  to  find 
surcease  of  sorrow. 

I  wonder  if  you  know  what  I  mean 
when  I  say  that  just  before  the  service 
begun,  while  the  organ  was  playing  and 
tht1  crowd  of  fashionable  folk  were  being 
shown  to  their  pews  by  the  flunky  of  a 
sexton,  I  had  a  feeling,  an  uncontrollable 
feeling,  that  She  was  somewhere  in  that 
building?  Was  I  magnetically  conscious 
of  her  presence?  Is  it  credible  that  we 
can  produce  such  an  effect  on  each  other? 
Can  influences  be  transmitted  through 
the  air?  I  know  not,  and  yet  I  was  sure 
that  in  that  throng  Margaret  was  present, 
and  I  fell  at  once  into  a  fever  of  expecta 
tion. 

What  made  me  sure  ?  And  what  was 
it  that  whispered  in  my  ear  that  I  should 
catch  a  glimpse  of  her  before  the  clock  in 
the  tower  struck  twelve? 

T  was  so  impressed  by  this  feeling  that 
before  the  service  ended  I  took  mv  station 


29G  BROWS  STUDIES. 

at  the  door,  intending  to  watch  as  the 
people  came  out. 

.  Well,  I  was  repaid  for  my  pains.  I  did 
see  her,  though  only  for  a  moment — I 
was  sure  I  did.  I  could  not  be  mistaken. 
She  was  in  deep  black,  with  a  veil  over 
her  face,  and  was  accompanied  by  a  lady 
and  her  husband,  neither  of  whom  I  had 
ever  seen  before.  I  knew  her  by  her  gait 
and  her  general  bearing.  She  had  a  pe 
culiar  walk.  It  was  slow  and  deliberate, 
dignified  and  rhythmical. 

I  stood  spellbound  until  she  reached  the 
sidewalk,  then,  coming  to  my  senses,  tried 
to  push  my  way  through  the;  crowd  which 
blocked  the  narrow  passage  ;  but  before  I 
could  reach  her  she  Lad  entered  the  car 
riage  with  her  friends  and  was  driven  off. 

Could  anything  he  more  exasperating? 
It  was  a  stroke  of  ill  fortune,  and  I  re 
sented  it  as  unfair.  The  goal  was  just  with 
in  reach,  but  I  missed  it  by  thirty  seconds. 

I  do  not  think  I  was  ever  in  such  a  state 


HALKED   BY  FATE.  297 

of  mind  in  my  life.  There  I  stood,  utterly 
da/cd,  watching  that  retreating  carriage 
with  everything  in  it  that  was  dearest  to 
me,  and  was  utterly  helpless. 

I  think  I  ought  to  be  forgiven  for  what 
I  said  on  that  occasion,  for  the  provoca 
tion  was  certainly  very  sharp.  Unman 
natnre  can  bear  a  great  deal,  bnt  there 
are  some  things  which  are  unendurable, 
and  this  was  one  of  them. 

There  was  in  the  incident  all  necessary 
material  for  a  story  snch  as  would  have 
delighted  the  genius  of  Poe.  I  did  not 
sleep  much  that  night,  and  when  morn 
ing  came  was  sorry  that  I  had  slept  at  all. 

I  dreamed  that  Margaret  was  jnst  with 
in  reach,  when  seven  humpbacked  imps 
seized  me.  The  two  in  front  were  push 
ing  me  back,  other  two  were  dragging 
me  by  my  arms,  while  three  stood  by  a 
tree  with  ropes  in  their  hands.  Demoniac 
howls  of  u'lee  filled  the  air.  "  Bind  him  ! '' 


298  SHOWN  STUDIES. 

they  cried  in  chorus,  "bind  him!"  I 
struggled  with  mad  desperation,  but  it 
was  to  no  purpose.  I  shouted  to  Marga 
ret  until  I  was  hoarse,  but  not  a  word  did 
she  hear.  I  succeeded  in  knocking  one 
of  the  wretches  down,  but  he  was  in 
stantly  011  his  feet  again  and  gave  me 
such  a  buffet  that  my  ears  rang.  The 
ropes  were  coiled  about  me,  and  as  I 
looked  at  them  they  changed  to  loath 
some  snakes,  which  slowly  tightened  their 
hold  until  I  fairly  gasped  for  breath.  I 
had  no  longer  any  voice,  but  in  spite  of 
all  I  whispered  hoarsely  the  name  u  Mar 
garet  !  Margaret !  "  In  the  meantime  she 
was  walking,  all  unconscious  of  my  pres 
ence,  toward  a  deep  forest,  in  the  shadow 
of  which  she  was  lost  to  sight.  At  the 
moment  when  she  disappeared  a  loud  clap 
of  tl tunder  rent  the  air,  and  I  awoke. 

I  got  up,  dressed,  and  sat  by  the  open 
window  in  a  very  unenviable  frame  of 


JiALKEU   BY  FATE.  299 

mind,  talked !  Fate  was  against  me, 
and  fate  was  stronger  than  I. 

What  was  the  meaning  of  it?  What 
had  I  done  to  deserve  such  ill  fortune  ? 
i- 1  certainly  have  no  unworthy  motive," 
I  said  to  myself.  "I  want  nothing  of 
which  conscience  cannot  approve.  On 
the  contrary,  I  am  in  pursuit  of  happi 
ness — and  not  my  own  happiness  alone, 
either — by  perfectly  legitimate  means 
which  have  been  sanctified  by  the  hopes 
and  prayers  of  every  generation  that  ever 
existed.  And  yet,  just  as  I  am  about  to 
cross  the  threshold,  the  fiends  get  me  by 
the  shoulder  and  thrust  me  back." 

I  was  wild  with  excess  of  disappoint 
ment,  for  I  saw  no  way  of  retrieving  my 
lost  chance.  When  I  looked  in  the  glass 
I  found  that  my  eyes  were  bloodshot. 
There  was  an  expression  in  them  which 
alarmed  me.  ''Am  I  going  insane?"! 
asked,  "and  will  they  take  me  to  Bloom- 
iiiG'dale?  See  how  mv  hand  trembles! 


300  BEOWN  STUDIES. 

Feel  how  my  heart  flutters !  Note  the 
cold  perspiration  that  has  broken  out  call 
over  me ! " 

My  God  !  what  agony  love  brings  ! 

"  Tell  me,  Leo,"  I  said,  as  the  dog- 
rubbed  his  nose  against  my  knee,  "tell 
me,  old  fellow,  was  any  poor  mortal  ever 
in  such  a  predicament  before  ?  I  wouldn't 
care  if  there  were  any  way  out  of  it, 
though.  I  count  no  labor  or  pains  too 
great  if  I  can  only  reach  the  goal  at  last. 
I  think  I  could  even  laugh  at  my  despera 
tion,  and  hug  my  grief,  if  there  were  a 
ray  of  light.  But  what  can  I  do,  dear 
dog,  what  can  I  do  ? " 

Leo  uttered  a  low  whine.  Then  he  put 
his  face  close  to  mine,  still  whining,  as 
though  in  sympathy. 

I  hardly  know  why,  but  the  shaggy 
brute  gave  me  comfort..  I  grew  calmer, 
and  in  ten  minutes  lay  down  on  the  couch 
and  fell  into  a  restless  sleep. 


HALKKD   BY  FATE.  301 

I  awoke.  There  on  the  table  were  the 
letters  which  she  had  written  in  the  old 
days.  They  were  the  worse  for  wear,  for  I 
had  read  them  many  times ;  but  somehow 
I  felt  like  reading  them  again,  and  so  two 
hours  passed,  until  Tom  called  me  for 
i\\\'  bath  and  my  breakfast. 

Now  that  I  reflect  upon  it  I  am  of 
opinion  that  my  chief  trouble  was  a  doubt 
of  Margaret.  AVas  she  still  loyal,  or  had 
her  strange  experiences  crowded  aside  all 
recollection  of  me  ?  My  imagination  ran 
riot,  and  I  put  the  circumstances  together 
in  every  possible  shape,  sometimes  believ 
ing  that  she  was  true,  and  then  again  ad 
mitting  that  the  chances  were  against  me. 

If  I  knew  that  she  was  in  Grace  Church 
why  should  not  she  have  known  that  I  was 
there?  And  if  we  felt  each  other's  pres 
ence  how  was  it  that  we  missed  each  other  ? 

If  you  float  two  fine  needles  in  a  bowl 
of  Avater  they  may  at  first  be  separated 
by  a  very  considerable  space,  but  the 


302  P>ROWX  STUDIES. 

mutual  attraction  is  such  that  though 
they  drift  about  for  a  while,  apparently 
aimlessly,  they  are  every  instant  trying 
to  get  close  together.  It  will  not  be  long 
before  the  gap  between  them  is  so  lessened 
that  the  magnetism  increases  their  speed, 
and  in  the  end  they  lie  on  the  placid  sur 
face  side  by  side,  their  mission  ended.  I 
have  tried  that  experiment  many  times 
and  it  never  yet  failed. 

"  Xow,  why  did  not  the  same  law  bring 
Margaret  and  me  together  on  that  occa 
sion?"  I  asked  myself  again  and  again. 
"Was  it  that  the  love  is  all  on  one  side; 
that  I  am  attracted  to  her  and  she  is  re 
pelled  from  me  ?  If  that  were  so  then  I 
could  easily  understand  the  Grace  Church 
incident.  I  knew  she  was  there,  but  she 
neither  knew  nor  cared  that  I  was  there. 
Is  that  the  solution  of  the  puzzle  f " 

So  I  tormented  myself,  and  a  very 
wretched  time  I  had  of  it.  By  the  end 


HALKED   J1Y  FATE.  303 

of  June  I  was  so  mortally  tired  of  my 
self,  and  so  unfit  for  the  company  of  my 
friends,  that  I  determined  on  a  long- 
rest  in  some  quiet  country  village. 

It  made  but  little  difference,  of  course, 
in  which  direction  I  went,  if  I  only  suc 
ceeded  in  getting  away  from  the  mad 
world  which  was  constantly  expressing 
surprise  at  my  condition,  and  condoling 
with  me  because  I  had  made  such  a  mis 
take  in  going  to  the  Adirondacks. 

I  could  not  help  smiling  grimly  more 
than  once  when  some  overwise  creature 
assured  me  that  he  had  told  his  wife  when 
I  started  in  the  autumn  that  I  should  not 
be  able  to  bear  the  climate  and  would 
come  back  all  worn  out.  ''And  now,'7 
these  people  added,  "here  you  are,  thin 
and  Avorn  and  haggard,  just  as  I  knew 
you  would  be." 

While  studying  a  railroad  map  my  eye 
fell  on  the  little  village  of  Sharon,  in 
western  Connecticut.  The  guide-book  in- 


304  IMOli'y  STUDIES. 

formed  me  that  it  was  a  beautiful  spot, 
just  at  the  southern  extremity  of  the 
Berkshire  Hills,  with  points  of  view  from 
which  a  very  extended  country  could  be 
seen,  and  many  other  attractions  too 
numerous  to  mention  and  which  I  cared 
nothing  about. 

u  The  BerksMres  ?  Didn't  she  once  tell 
me  that  she  had  been  there?  It  is  so 
long  ago  that  I  have  half  forgotten,  but 
that  is  my  impression.  And  Sharon ! 
That,  too,  has  a  familiar  sound.  Let  me 
think.  Have  I  ever  been  there  ?  No. 
Am  I  acquainted  with  anybody  there? 
No.  Hold  a  minute.  Where  was  Mar 
garet  born?  Somewhere  among  these 
Berkshire  Hills,  I  am  sure.  I  can't  be 
mistaken  about  that?  Why,  of  course. 
It  is  all  plain  now.  My  memory  serves 
me  well.  It  was  in  Sharon  that  she  first 
saw  the  light,  and  from  Sharon  she  came 
to  New  York." 

So  I  determined  to  get  out  of  the  city 


HALKED   BY  FATE.  305 

as  soon  as  possible,  and  Sharon  should  be 
my  destination.  Perhaps — but  no,  that 
would  hardly  be  possible.  I  might  not 
find  any  trace  of  her  there,  for  all  her 
near  relatives  died  long  since ;  but,  at 
any  rate,  it  would  furnish  me  an  opportu 
nity  to  pull  myself  together,  and  that 
was  what  I  most  needed. 

So  within  forty-eight  hours  I  was  snugly 
ensconced  in  the  little  inn  on  the  main 
street,  under  the  shadow  of  a  long  row  of 
glorious  elms. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

MARRIAGE    BELLS. 

BEAUTIFUL  Sharon  !  If  you  have  been 
there  you  may  possibly  say  that  my  lan 
guage  is  too  strong.  Topographically  it 
is  not  more  exquisite  in  situation  or  out 
look  than  a  dozen  other  New  England 
villages,  but  to  me,  and  for  reasons  which 
I  shall  disclose  at  my  leisure,  it  is  the  fair 
est  spot  on  the  globe. 

When  I  go  to  heaven  I  hope  to  begin 
the  journey  from  Sharon. 

There  is  a  central  avenue  a  mile  long 
and  something  over  two  hundred  feet 
wide.  On  either  side  are  stately  elms, 
some  of  them  fifty  and  others  a  full  cen 
tury  old,  whose  branches  interlace,  giving 
a  picturesqueness  to  the  place  which  it 

306 


M. HUH AGE  HELLS.  307 

would  be  difficult  to  duplicate.  These 
elms  have  looked  down  on  two  or  three 
generations  of  men  who  have  done  their 
day's  work  and  then  gone  to  the  church 
yard  at  the  western  end  of  the  village. 

A  certain  kind  of  quiet  and  reposeful- 
ness  prevails  which  lengthens  the  years 
of  the  good  folk  who  live  there.  As  you 
saunter  about  in  the  gloaming  you  see 
old  men  who  have  counted  out  their  four 
score  winters  and  are  still  young  in  heart, 
and  matrons  of  threescore  and  ten  who 
have  reared  large  families  and  yet  show 
very  little  of  the  strain  of  life.  Once  in 
a  while  a  patriarch  with  hair  and  beard 
like  snow  stops  to  chat  with  you  concern 
ing  the  weather  or  the  crops  or  the  dull 
times,  and  you  are  surprised  to  learn  that 
he  was  in  his  cradle  at  the  beginning  of 
the  century.  He  tells  you,  from  memory, 
of  the  things  that  happened  long  before 
the  first  steamboat  stemmed  the  current 
of  the  Hudson  or  the  first  locomotive  sent 


308  lUWH'X  STUDIES. 

its  shrill  whistle  through  our  valleys  like 
a  strange,  unearthly  strain  of  music. 

Besides,  the  drives  about  Sharon  are 
exceptionally  fine.  During'  the  first  week 
of  my  stay  I  explored  the  surrounding 
country,  sometimes  on  foot  and  then 
again  on  horseback.  From  every  hilltop 
I  had  a  new  view,  the  landscape  being 
varied  by  plains,  rivers,  and  lakes,  all 
framed  by  ranges  of  mountains  along  the 
horizon  line. 

My  perturbed  spirit  gradually  grew 
calm  under  the  sweet  influences  of  my 
environment,  and  my  sharp,  acute  pain 
gave  way  to  a  dull  ache  at  the  heart. 
Not  even  the  beauties  or  the  sublimities 
of  nature  could  assuage  that. 

My  thoughts  were  all  of  Her,  and  dur 
ing  my  long  tramps  through  the  woods  I 
gave  rein  to  my  imagination,  conjured  up 
all  sorts  of  pictures  in  which  She  and  I 
were  side  by  side,  and  then  woke  from 
the  brown  studv  with  a  sigh 


MAURI  AGE  BELL*.  309 

I  was  frightfully  lonely — inexpressibly 
so— for  fate  had  put  a  clue  to  Margaret 
into  my  hand,  and  when  I  had  followed 
it  a  certain  distance,  and  seemed  close  to 
a  discovery  of  her  whereabouts,  it  broke 
and  left  me  once  more  to  my  doubts  and 
fears. 

Love  is  a  good  deal  like  hunger,  for  it 
gnaws  the  very  vitals. 

A  love  that  has  attained  its  object 
furnishes  us  with  a  degree  of  bliss  which 
only  heaven  can  excel. 

A  love  that  searches  but  cannot  find, 
that  knows  the  dear  one  is  somewhere 
within  telescopic  distance  and  may  come 
at  any  moment  within  the  reach  of  your 
vision,  makes  you  restless  with  a  misery 
which  no  words  can  express. 

This  was  my  condition.  I  went  to 
Sharon  to  get  a  new  grip  on  myself,  for 
I  had  slipped  away  from  my  self-control 
and  was  well-nigh  crazed.  Where  had 
She  found  a  hiding-place  ?  Did  she  know 


310  SHOWN  STUDIES. 

I  was  searching  for  her?  Did  she  hope 
that  sometime  we  should  meet  and  clasp 
hands  in  the  old  way,  or  had  she  become 
forgetful  of  the  past  and  indifferent  to 
me  ? 

Suppose  another,  more  worthy  than  I, 
should — then  came  a  rush  of  blood  to  my 
head,  and  I  grew  dizzy.  That  thought 
had  not  occurred  to  me  before,  and  its 
poignant  anguish  was  like  an  arrow  quiv 
ering  in  the  flesh.  I  left  the  table  where 
I  was  taking  my  evening  meal,  and  walked 
up  and  down  the  piazza  of  the  hotel  for 
hours — literally  for  hours — and  the  fiend 
ish  possibilities  which  my  brain  conjured 
up  drove  me  wild.  The  moon  came  out 
bright  and  clear,  sweeping  the  clouds 
away  and  extinguishing  the  stars  by  its 
superior  light;  but  still  I  walked  and 
nursed  my  fear  of  all  the  evil  chances 
that  might  befall. 

I  tell  you  this  because  it  will  serve  as 
a  prologue  to  that  part  of  the  story  which 


MAKE  I  AGE  BELLS.  311 

it  will  now  bo  my  happiness  to  relate,  and 
when  yon  kno\v  all  you  will  understand 
why  Sharon  is  like  paradise,  and  why  I 
am  building  a  cottage  there  on.  a  hilltop 
just  outside  the  village  limits. 

One  evening,  when  I  was  feeling  spe 
cially  wretched,  my  soul  like  a  lump  of 
indigo,  my  blood  crawling  through  my 
veins  like  a  sluggish  stream  of  ice- water, 
I  entered  the  little  post-office  in  search  of 
letters.  Not  that  I  cared  to  hear  from 
my  friends — if  I  had  any — for  I  knew 
well  enough  that  they  simply  regarded  me 
as  a  queer  sort  of  creature,  who  would 
excite  the  curiosity  of  inquiring  physi 
cians  at  a  post-mortem.  They  were  sure 
that  some  abnormal  condition  of  the  brain 
had  supervened,  and  that  the  surgeon's 
knife  and  saw  would  after  a  little  explain 
my  eccentricities.  I  was  at  the  end  of  my 
tether,  however,  and  needed  the  stimulus 
which  a  missive  with  a  stamp  on  it  some 
times  affords. 


312  BUOtt'X  STUDIES. 

The  clerk  behind  the  grated  window 
greeted  me  with  a  cheery  "  Good-even 
ing,"  but  I  made  110  reply.  I  was  in  no 
mood  to  talk,  and  he  doubtless  thought 
me  very  uncourteous.  I  thrust  the  letters 
into  my  coat-pocket,  not  caring  even  to 
know  who  had  taken  the  pains  to  write, 
and  started  for  the  door. 

As  I  stood  on  the  steps  a  lady  brushed 
by  me  somewhat  hastily.  She  evidently 
wished  to  avoid  me,  a  fact  which  I  thought 
not  unnatural,  since  I  had  done  the  same 
thing  many  a  time.  But  she  was  dressed 
in  deep  black,  and  that  attracted  my  at 
tention.  "  Poor  creature  !  "  I  said  to  my 
self,  ''perhaps  she  has  lost  a  child  or  a 
husband;1'  and  I  turned  for  an  instant  to 
look  at  her.  Her  face  was  veiled,  but  her 
walk  and  her  general  bearing  were  fa 
miliar.  I  hardly  knew  why,  but  I  began 
to  tremble.  I  feared  to  fall,  and  so  leaned 
against  the  door-post. 

"Well,"  I  said  to  mvself,  "the  end  is 


MARRIAGE   BELLS.  313 

not  far  off  if  you  are  so  weak  that  the 
sight  of  a  stranger  in  mourning  affects 
your  nerves  in  that  way."  I  was  almost 
furious  with  myself,  and  my  indignation 
gave  me  strength.  But  before  I  left  the 
room  I  turned  to  get  a  second  glimpse  of 
the  lady.  She  had  three-  letters  in  her 
hand,  and  had  thrown  her  veil  back  for 
a  moment  to  read  the  inscriptions. 

My  heart  stood  still.  How  pale  she 
was,  and  what  traces  of  sorrow  had  left 
their  mark  on  her  forehead  and  cheeks ! 
How  changed  from  other  days,  but  what 
a  resigned,  seraphic  expression  her  face 
wore  ! 

"Margaret !  "  I  whispered,  as  I  sprang 
to  her  side. 

She  turned,  and  her  eyes  met  mine. 

Her  first  word  was  "  Clarence  !  "  but  she 
checked  herself  and  added,  "Mr.  Flem 
ing." 

Xo,  she  did  not  take  the  hand  which  I 
involuntarily  stretched  toward  her,  but 


314  JlllOH'X  STl'DIES. 

stood  for  an  instant  like  a  statue,  then 
hastily  moved  away. 

"  You  will  not  leave  me  ? "  I  cried. 

Then  she  gave  me  a  look  I  shall  never 
forget.  She  must  have  seen  how  I  felt, 
what  misery  overwhelmed  me,  but  if  she 
did  she  was  not  in  the  least  affected 
by  it. 

"  I  must  go/'  she  said.  "  Good-even 
ing." 

"  May  I  walk  with  you  ? " 

"  Xo !  v  was  the  reply. 

"  It  is  so  many  years,  Margaret/' 

"  I  know  it."  But  this  time  she  did  not 
even  glance  at  me. 

"I  have  been  searching  for  you  for 
months,"  I  ventured. 

She  drew  her  veil  down  and  I  saw  her 
face  110  more. 

•'May  I  call  011  you?" 

For  a  moment  she  hesitated,  and  then 
answered,  "It  is  better  not." 

"  But  shall  I  not  see  you  again  ? " 


M  A  llll  I  AC,  E    HELLS.  315 

"I  cannot  tell."  And  her  voice  was 
like  the  trembling1  note  of  a  finte. 

"You  have  not  forgotten,  Margaret?'" 

"  Good-night,  Mr.  Fleming,"  and  the 
next  moment  she  was  gone. 

I  was  utterly  dazed,  and  stood  stock- 
still  on  the  sidewalk  like  a  graven  image 
for  several  minutes.  What  did  it  mean  ? 
Was  she  sorry  she  had  met  me? 

"At  any  rate,"  I  said  to  myself,  "my 
search  is  over.  What  strange  fortune  it 
was  that  brought  me  to  this  particular 
village  at  this  particular  time  !  " 

Was  it  intended  that  we  should  stand 
face  to  face,  that  my  future  might  be 
decided  and  my  hopes  set  at  rest  either 
by  fruition  or  annihilation  ?  Were  subtle 
forces  at  work,  forces  of  which  we  have 
no  knowledge,  and  did  they  incline  her 
to  seek  surcease  of  sorrow  in  the  home  of 
her  childhood,  and  at  the  same  instant 
lead  me  to  seek  a  remedy  for  my  ills  in 
the  same  place  ?  It  seemed  to  me  that  if 


,316  SliOirX  STUDIES. 

fate  was  not  specially  cruel  it  liad  some 
purpose  in  this  wonderful  coincidence. 

So  I  went  back  to  my  hotel,  crawled 
up  into  my  room,  and  lay  on  the  lounge 
pondering1. 

Two  weeks  afterward  I  was  walking 
through  a  secluded  lane  for  the  simple  rea 
son  that  I  wanted  to  be  alone.  It  was  just 
beyond  the  village,  on  the  road  that  leads 
to  the  Housatonic  Valley.  At  a  bend  of 
the  path  I  came  upon  Margaret  once  more. 

That  was  another  strange  incident. 
Why  was  she  there  in  that  untrodden 
spot,  and,  moreover,  why  was  I  there '? 
When  I  started  out  in  the  morning  I 
knew  nothing  about  such  a  path,  and 
took  no  thought  of  where  I  was  going. 
I  wanted  to  get  out  of  the  way,  and  when 
I  saw  this  lane  leading  through  the  woods 
it  seemed  enticing,  and  without  a  mo 
ment's  hesitation  I  turned  into  it. 

"Margaret/'  I  said,  "it  is  intended  that 
we  should  meet." 


MAURI  AUE   HELLS.  317 

"  So  it  seems,"  was  her  quiet  reply. 

"  Do  you  often  walk  here '!" 

•'  I  have  never  been  here  before." 

"  Neither  have  I." 

"  It  was  a  mere  chance,"  she  continued. 
"  I  was  a  bit  out  of  sorts  with  myself,  and 
came  out  for  a  brisk  tramp.  The  high 
way  was  dusty,  and  this  path  seemed  so 
cool  and  shady  that  I  thought  it  might 
give  me  the  solitude  I  need." 

"  And  my  experience  was  precisely  the 
same,"  I  replied.  ''  Are  you  sorry  that 
we  have  met,  Margaret  ? " 

"  I  don't  know,"  she  answered. 

"  Margaret !  " 

"  Yes  ? " 

u  I  am  glad  we  have  met  just  here, 
have  much  to  tell  you,  and  there  are  some 
things  you  can  tell  me.     Be  frank  with 
me  now :  is  the  past  gone  forever  ? " 

'•  I  have  a  good  memory,"  she  answered. 
"  It  is  not  my  fault,  though  perhaps  it  is 
mv  misfortune." 


318  BROWN  STUDIES. 

I  grew  bitter,  for  it  seemed  to  me  that 
she  was  trying'  to  avoid  a  direct  answer. 

No  man  in  the  world  can  understand 
a  woman.  She  is  not  made  of  the  same 
material  as  we ;  her  composition  is  finer, 
her  intuitions  more  acute,  her  way  of 
looking-  at  life  more  subtle! 

I  accused  her  of  a  want  of  loyalty, 
spoke  with  vehement  earnestness,  poured 
out  all  the  fears  that  had  wrung1  my  soul, 
and  when  I  had  finished  she  put  her  hand 
on  my  arm  and  said,  •'  Clarence,  pardon 
me,  but  I  must  not  listen  to  you.  You 
forget  that  I  have  a  grave  to  guard. 
Your  words  are  unworthy  of  you.  You 
are  cruel." 

I  saw  that  she  was  suffering1.  The 
hand  on  my  arm  was  trembling.  I  had 
strangely  blundered  in  my  utterance. 
She  was  greater,  nobler,  more  chivalrous 
than  I,  and  I  felt  humiliated. 

"  Good-by,  my  friend/'  she  said  at  last. 
"  You  would  not  respect  me  if  you  thought 


CARRIAGE   BELLS.  319 

I  could  do  less  than  my  duty.  My  hus 
band — "  then  she  broke  down,  and  her 
words  went  to  my  heart. 

"Go  your  way,"  she  added,  "and  let 
me  go  mine.  You  have  your  burden  and 
must  bear  it ;  I  have  a  burden  also." 

Then  she  turned  and  quietly  walked 
away. 

'•  God  help  me  !  "  I  cried,  as  she  disap 
peared.  "It  is  all  over.  My  doom  is 
sealed.  She  may  have  a  grave  to  guard, 
but  I  have  one  too.  My  hopes  are  buried, 
and  there  is  nothing  now  to  live  for." 

I  sat  under  a  tree  and  dreamed  for  two 
mortal  hours.  "Respect  her!  "I  cried, 
'  I  respect  her  more  than  ever.  She  will 
not  let  even  me  intrude  upon  her  private 
griefs.  Did  she  not  tell  me,  with  almost 
brutal  plainness,  that  I  must  stand  aside  ? '' 

I  fairly  writhed  in  agony.  The  drama 
had  ended,  so  far  as  I  was  concerned. 

'•  Go  your  way,  and  let  me  go  mine  ! " 
What  could  be  clearer  than  that  ? 


320  BROWS  STUDIES. 

"My  friend!"  Was  that  all  I  could 
ever  be  to  her  ? 

Then  with  a  groan  I  staggered  to  my 
feet  and  slowly  wandered  on.  She  had 
turned  her  back  on  me,  and  I  should 
probably  never  see  her  again.  Ten  years 
of  waiting,  and  at  the  end  indifference. 
Unseen  hands  had  guided  our  separate 
fortunes,  but  when  the  consummation  of 
my  prayers  seemed  within  reach  she  said, 
"  Go  your  way,  and  let  me  go  mine." 

During  the  next  month  I  met  her  three 
times,  but  she  was  on  all  occasions  cool 
in  demeanor,  even  cold.  I  was  fire  and 
she  was  ice.  I  was  a  volcano  and  she 
was  a  glacier. 

I  see  it  all  now,  and  can  afford  to  smile 
at  my  mistake,  but  at  the  time  I  was  the 
most  wretched  being  that  lived. 

One  day  1  sat  with  her  on  the  roadside 
on  the  brow  of  the  hill  at  the  western 
end  of  the  village.  I  hardly  knew  how, 
but  the  conversation  drifted  to  her  ex- 


V  Mill  I  AGE   HELLS.  321 

periences  in  Florida,  and  she  told  me  of 
Jii'e  on  the  plantation,  of  the  kindliness 
of  her  neighbors  when  her  husband  fell 
ill,  and  some  pathetic  anecdotes  of  the 
devoted  negroes,  who  must  have  regarded 
her  as  a  saint  or  an  angel.  Then  she  said  : 

•'  T  want  to  tell  yon  about  Edward's  last 
hours;  what  a  patient  sufferer  he  was, 
and  how  bravely  he  met  his  doom.  There 
were  some  strange  oeeurrenees  during 
the  last  night  of  his  life,  and  I  have  never 
been  able  to  aeeount  for  them.  Perhaps 
you  can  explain  them.  I  remember  that 
in  the  old  days — 

There  she  stopped.  Evidently  she  had 
made  the  reference  unwittingly,  and  re 
gretted  it  both  for  her  own  sake  and  mine. 
She  looked  at  the  lake  in  the  near  dis 
tance,  and  then  at  the  horizon,  whose 
clouds  were  of  a  rich  orange  color,  and 
seemed  lost  in  thought. 

'•  Those  memories  are  painful,  Marga 
ret.  It  is  better  not  to  refer  to  them.'' 


"  I  did  not  intend  to,"  she  replied.  "  I 
am  sorry." 

Her  voice  was  tremulous,  and  I  saw 
her  bite  her  lips. 

"  Let  it  pass/'  I  said,  "  and  tell  me  about 
the  things  that  puzzle  you." 

"You  were  interested  in  occult  mai 
lers,"  she  continued,  "  and  knew  all  about 
such  things." 

"Yes?" 

"You  have  not  forgotten?"  she  asked. 

"Xo,  I  have  not  forgotten  anything." 

"  Do  you  still  retain  your  interest  ? " 

"  Somewhat,  but  not  so  much  as  for 
merly,  Margaret ;  and  yet  I  may  possibly 
help  you.  Tell  me  the  'whole  story." 

"Well,  when  Edward  was  dying — it 
was  close  to  midnight — I  had  a  strange 
consciousness  that  you  were  present." 

"  Indeed !  How  could  that  be  pos 
sible  ? " 

"I  don't  know.  That  is  what  I  want 
vou  to  tell  me.  All  that  dav  I  felt  very 


MARRIAGE    Ilh'LLX.  323 

helpless  ami  very  hopeless.  The  neigh 
bors  were  more  than  urgent  in  tendering 
their  services,  but  somehow  nothing  that 
they  could  do  appeared  to  satisfy  me. 
3Iy  thoughts  were  beyond  my  control.  I 
would  have  cheeked  them,  but  could  not. 
I  felt  it  to  be  almost  a  sacrilege,  and 
blamed  myself  without  stint,  bnt  I  wanted 
a  kind  of  sympathy  which  no  one  there 
could  give  me." 

Again  she  hesitated. 

"  I  don't  know  why  I  tell  yon  this,"  she 
went  on.  ;i  Perhaps  yon  are  not  pleased." 

•%  I 'ray  tell  me  the  Avhole  truth,"  I  cried. 
••It  is  more  important  than  yon  think.'' 

il  What  do  yon  mean  '?" 

u  Xo  matter  jnst  now,"  I  answered.  "  I 
will  explain  later  on.  How  did  yon  feel 
my  presence,  and  when  did  yon  feel  it 
tirst  ? " 

'•  It  was  between  eleven  and  twelve.  I 
even  went  to  the  window  and  looked  out, 
half  expecting  that  I  might  see  you  in 


324  JlllOU'l?  fSTTJJlES. 

the  road.  Then  I  pushed  it  all  aside  as 
the  work  of  a  tired  brain :  Imt  jnst  as  I 
took  my  seat  onee  more  at  Edward's  side 
I  felt  sure  that  you  were  in  the  room. 
Strange,  wasn't  it  f '' 

"  What  else  ? "  I  asked,  and  my  soul  was 
on  fire. 

••Xot  nmch,  only  I  thought  I  heard 
your  voice." 

'•You  did  hear  me,  then,  you  did  hear 
me  ?  What  did  I  say  ? » 

"  You  called  •  Margaret ! '  If  I  had  not 
known  that  you  were  a  thousand  miles 
away  I  could  have  sworn  that  you  were 
near  me  at  that  time,  and  the  thought 
gave  me  strength.  Then,  just  as  the 
clock  struck  twelve — 

"  The  clock  on  the  mantel  ?  "  I  asked. 

"Yes." 

u  The  clock  in  a  morocco  case,  the  one 
I  gave  you  on  your  birthday?" 

"  Yes,"  and  she  looked  at  me  with  open- 
eyed  wonder.  ';IIow  do  you  know — " 


3f Altai  AGE    HK/.LS.  32") 

I  took  her  hand,  and  this  time  she  did 
not  withdraw  it. 

'•  Shall  I  tell  you  how  I  know  ? "  I  asked. 

"Why  not?" 

•'  It  is  incredible." 

"  That  makes  no  difference." 

"Yon  will  think  me  crazy." 

''Perhaps,  but  no  matter." 

"  Yon  thought  I  was  with  yon  on  that 
last  nijrht?" 

••  I  was  sure  of  it." 

••  Well,  you  were  riirht.     I  was  thei'e." 

••You.'" 

"Yes.  Margaret,  I  was  really  there,  and 
saw  all  that  recurred." 

She  trembled  with  excitement. 

"You  have  told  me  a  part  of  the  story, 
Margaret :  now  let  me  finish  it.  Edward 
called  for  a  pencil  and  paper,  did  he 
not  ?" 

She  nodded  her  head. 

"Tie  wrote  a  letter,  pnt  it  in  an  enve 
lope,  and  addressed  it." 


326  BltOll'X  STUDIES. 

"  Yes,  but  how  could  you  know  ? " 

"  I  saw  him." 

"You  were  in  the  Adirondacks." 

"No,  I  was  in  Florida," 

This  was  more  than  she  could  bear,  and 
her  eyes  filled  with  tears. 

"  That  letter/'  I  went  on,  "  was  intended 
for  me.  He  handed  it  to  you  and  asked 
you  to  deliver  it  in  person.  You  have 
never  given  it  to  me.  It  is  mine,  and  I 
must  have  it. ' 

"  Do  you  know  its  contents  ? '' 

"No,  but  I  have  a  right  to  know,  and 
I  will  know.  Have  you  it  with  you  ? " 

She  shook  her  head. 

"  You  will  let  me  have  it  ? '' 

"  I  don't  know  that  I  ought." 

"  That,"  I  insisted,  "  is  not  a  matter  for 
you  to  decide.  It  was  Edward's  last  re 
quest,  and  you  must  respect  it.  You 
have  something  in  your  possession  which 
does  not  belong  to  you.  I  am  the  right 
ful  owner,  and  I  demand  the  letter." 


M. 1 1; in. i <-,!•:  HELLS.  yn 

Tliis  may  seem  to  be  severe  language, 
but  of  c-ourse  there  was  good  nature  under 
it  all.  I  had  an  infinite  curiosity  to  know 
the  contents  of  that  letter,  for  it  was  writ 
ten  by  the  dying  man  under  strange  cir 
cumstances.  It  referred  to  me  in  some 
way,  .some  very  peculiar  way,  and  must 
have  had  a  special  significance,  since  it 
was  the  last  statement  of  a  man  who  was 
about  to  leave  the  world  for  the  unknown 
and  unexplored  future. 

;%  You  shall  have  it,''  said  Margaret,  very 
quietly,  "  but — 

-But  what?"  I  asked. 

"Toil  ought,  I  think,  to  allow  me  to 
read  it  also." 

"You  have  no  knowledge  of  what  it 
contains  f " 

••Xot  the  least,"  she  answered. 

••  And  no  surmise?" 

••  I  had  better  not  answer  that  question, 
because  I  imiy  be  mistaken." 

"When  shall  I  have  it,  Margaret?" 


328  HRO1VX   STUDIES. 

''  I  will  send  it  to  your  hotel  this  even 
ing." 

And  she  did. 

I  went  straight  to  my  room  in  a  very 
unhappy  frame  of  mind,  and  with  a  cer 
tain  feeling  of  awe,  as  though  I  was  about 
to  converse  with  the  dead.  I  sat  at  the 
window  for  a  long  while,  holding  the  let 
ter  in  my  hand  and  thinking  over  that 
wonderful  experience  which  most  people 
will  regard  as  an  hallucination.  At  last, 
however,  I  tore  the  envelope  and  read  as 
follows : 

"  MY  DEAR  CLARENCE  :  I  am  dying. 
The  end  of  my  journey  is  near  at  hand, 
and  I  feel  sure  that  I  shall  not  see  the 
light  of  another  day.  I  cannot  go  with 
out  a  word  with  you. 

"  Margaret !  It  has  been  a  one-sided 
love.  I  gave  her  all  I  had  to  give,  but 
she  gave  me  very  little  in  return.  It  was 
not  her  fault,  and  I  had  no  word  of  blame 


MARRlAdE   HELLS.  320 

or  (.-veil  of  criticism.  She  did  what  she 
could,  has  been  a  true  and  faithful  wife ; 
l>ut  do  not  for  a  moment  think  I  have 
been  deceived. 

••  She  belonged  to  you,  lias  been  yours 
at  heart  all  these  years,  and  is  yours  at 
this  moment  when  she  is  watching  by  my 
side,  soon  to  close  my  eyes  in  the  last 
sleep. 

"  Under  the  influence  of  a  terrible  ex 
perience  she  said  'Yes'  when  she  should 
have  said  '  No,'  and  would  have  said  it  if 
she  had  reflected  for  twenty-four  hours. 
But  I  was  greedy  for  her,  and  honestly 
believed  that  I  could  in  time  make  her 
love  me.  In  this  I  have  not  been  success 
ful. 

u  Take  her,  my  dear  fellow,  and,  if  you 
can,  forgive  me  for  robbing  you  of  a 
great  deal  of  happiness.  It  will  all  come 
round  right  in  good  time.  I  do  not  know 
how  or  where,  but  you  will  meet  her,  and 
she  wrill  be  wholly  yours.  Think  of  me 


U30  BROWN  STUDIES. 

as  kindly  as  may  be.  I  give  you  a  dying 
man's  blessing1,  with  the  hope  that  you 
and  she  will  forget  these  long  and  weary 
years  of  Avaiting. 

"  Yours, 

"  EDWARD." 

Can  I  describe  my  feelings  on  the  peru 
sal  of  this  letter  ?  No,  they  must  be  left 
to  your  imagination,  for  no  words  can 
give  them  their  proper  coloring. 

Should  I,  dare  I,  show  such  a  letter  to 
Margaret  ?  Would  she  be  sorry  for  hav 
ing  read  it  ?  Suppose  Edward  was  in  the 
wrong  after  all,  and  the  old  love  had  died 
aw  a}- ! 

What  a  plight  I  should  lie  in,  and  what 
a  frightful  position  for  her  to  occupy  ! 

Yet  I  knew  that  she  would  meet  the 
emergency  bravely,  and  tell  me  the  exact 
truth,  for  she  never  flinched  in  a  crisis. 

"  Margaret,"  I  said,  as  we  sat  together 
under  a  shady  tree,  with  a  brooklet  rip- 


MAKRLHiE   HELLS.  331 

pi  ing  at  our  feet,  "  I  have  that  letter  with. 
inc.'7 

She  held  out  her  hand. 

"  It  refers  to  matters  which  are  very 
sacred  to  me." 

"Yes?" 

"Ami  these  matters  also  concern  you." 

-  Indeed  !  " 

Then  I  went  over  the  whole  story  of 
the  past,  not  without  groat  vehemence  of 
expression.  I  judge,  for  there  was  a  look 
of  alarm  in  her  face. 

"And  now,"  I  said,  u  shall  I  read  the 
Letter?" 

••If  you  wish,"  and  her  voice  fell  to  a 
whisper. 

At  the  end  she  heaved  a  great  sigh,  and 
there  were  tears  in  her  eyes. 

I  took  her  hand  in  mine  and — 

But  why  should  I  say  more?  There 
are  some  things  which  one  does  not  speak 
of.  and  this  is  one  of  them. 

Suffice  it  that  when  I  parted  from  her 


tliat   afternoon    I    said    irood-by   with    a 
kiss. 

All  that  occurred  two  years  agx>. 

Last  month  Margaret  and  I  were  nun 
ried. 

Mv  brown  studies  are  at  an  end 


HERALD  SERMONS. 

Bv  Rev.  GEORGE  H.  HEPWORTH, 


45  Short  Sermons   reprinted  from  the  New  York  Herald. 
I2mo,  252  pages.     Portrait  of  Author.     $1.00. 

"  For  months  past  a  sermon  has  appeared  as  the  leading  editorial  in 
the  Sunday  edition  of  the  Herald,  and  these  sermons  have  now  been 
published  in  book  form.  In  reproducing  these  admirable  discourses  the 
publishers  have  unquestionably  acted  wisely.  Both  here  and  in  Europe  a 
lively  controversy  has  been  aroused  in  consequence  of  the  bold  statements 
and  striking  originality  of  these  weekly  essays  on  religious  topics,  while 
at  the  same  time  great  curiosity  has  been  manifested  in  regard  to  the  per 
sonality  of  the  author. 

"  But  why  have  these  sermons  caused  such  a  sensation  ?  Do  they  differ 
so  much  from  ordinary  sermons?  ....  Lucidity,  brevity,  the  ex 
pression  of  vital  truths  in  clear  cut  Saxon  English,  absence  of  dogmatism, 
an  evident  abhorrence  of  intolerance  of  all  kinds,  a  catholic  sympathy 
with  human  beings  of  all  ranks  and  creeds,  and  a  determination  to  insist 
on  all  occasions  that  ecclesiasticism,  with  its  formulas  and  rigid  adherence 
to  the  letter  of  the  law.  is  quite  a  different  thing  from  the  simple,  soul 
satisfying  religion  of  Christ — these,  we  think,  are  the  chief  characteristics 
of  George  H.  Hepworth,  as  made  known  to  us  through  this  book,  and  it 
is  precisely  because  he  has  given  full  play  to  his  individuality  that  these 
sermons  of  his  are  well  worth  reading  now,  and  will  be  well  worth  read 
ing  long  after  the  author  has  passed  away." — .Ve-zu  York  Herald. 

"  In  these  sermons  subjects  were  chosen  which  come  home  to  every 
individual  some  time  in  his  life  whether  he  is  in  one  church  or  another,  or 
in  no  church  ;  and  they  were  treated  in  such  a  broad  way  that  they  could 
be  beneficial  to  all.  The  sermons  have  one  excellent  merit  which  it  would 
be  well  if  some  of  those  given  in  pulpits  could  be  patterned  after — they 
are  brief  and  strictly  to  the  point.  Some  of  the  sermons  which  are  par 
ticularly  helpful  or  suggestive  are,  'A  Wasted  Life,'  'Prayer,'  'The 
Problem  of  Poverty,'  'Why  Do  We  Suffer?'  'Heroes  and  Heroines,' 
'Bearing  Good  Fruit,'  'Do  What  You  Think  Is  Right,'  'Little 
People  Who  Live  Little  Lives,'  and  'You  Sh^II  Have  Strength.'  These 
are  a  few  of  those  in  the  volume,  every  one  of  which  will  contain  some 
word  for  some  one  in  trouble  or  doubt." — Boston  Transcript. 

"  They  are  addressed  to  men  and  women  entangled  in  the  perplexities 
of  life,  and  help  them  not  so  much  by  opening  to  them  a  larger  faith  as  by 
disclosing  to  them  the  hope  and  comfort  which  lies  in  the  faith  they  now 
\io\A.."— Independent. 

"A  volume  of  unusual  interest.  These  sermons  have  already  reached 
large  congregations.  They  ought  to,  and  doubtless  will,  in  the  present 
form  reach  still  larger.  They  will  be  found  helpful,  all  the  more  so  be 
cause  of  their  freedom  from  dogma,  and  of  their  fresh,  vigorous  dealing 
with  practical  questions  and  problems." — Boston  Daily  Advertiser. 


Sent  fry  "mil,  postpaid,  on   receipt  ,\f  price. 

E.    P.    DUTTON    &    CO.,    PUBLISHERS, 
31  West  23d    Street,  New  York. 


HIRAM  GOLF'S  RELIGION; 

OR, 

"  The  Shoemaker  by  the  Grace  of  God." 

By  GEORGE  H.  HEPWORTH. 
i3th  thousand.     i6mo,  134  pages,  cloth,  75  cents. 

"  Plain  talks  of  a  shoemaker  and  a  parson.  They  are  in  dialect ;  the 
style  is  both  quaint  and  strong.  A  book  that  gives  the  reader  something 
to  think  about.  .  .  .  The  sterling,  homely  common  sense  of  the  book 
is  commanding  wide  attention." — The  Evangt'list. 

"  This  little  book  contains,  in  quaint  and  simple  sketches,  the  essence 
of  practical  Christianity.  Hiram  Golf  is  a  man  who  exemplifies  the  pre 
cept,  '  Whether  ye  eat  or  drink,  or  whatever  ye  do,  do  all  to  the  glory  of 
God.'  His  talks  with  the  young  minister  are  the  best  sort  of  lay  sermons, 
and  his  life  is  at  once  a  model  and  an  inspiration.  The  book  cannot  fail 
to  be  of  service  to  ministers  and  laymen  alike." — New  York  Observer. 

"  The  point  is  that  serving  God  consists  in  doing  His  will,  especially 
so  as  to  benefit  one's  fellow  men  and  women  wherever  one  finds  himself. 
It  is  a  powerful  and  touching  little  story  and  should  have  a  large  circula 
tion." — Congregationalist. 

"  This  book  is  a  small  volume,  but  contains  wisdom  in  large  chunks. 
Hiram  was  a  poor  shoemaker  who  mended  shoes,  and  was  just  as  much  an 
adept  in  mending  worn-out,  tired  souls.  His  talks  are  eminently  practical 
and  adapted  to  benefit  all  the  army  of  grumblers.  Hiram's  religion  has 
nothing  in  it  that  is  dyspeptic,  which  is  more  than  can  be  said  of  many 
good,  well-meaning  people.  The  little  book  has  wonderfully  good  prac 
tical  lessons,  adapted  to  e very-day  life,  on  every  page." — The  Inter-Ocean. 

"About  a  year  ago  a  little  book  was  published  which  won  for  itself 
thousands  of  readers  in  a  very  few  months.  '  Hiram  Golf's  Religion ' 
was  one  of  the  sturdy  books  that  make  men  live  better,  because  it  makes 
them  think  better.  The  homely  sayings  of  the  old  shoemaker  made  every 
one  study  himself." — Books  and  Authors. 

"  If  every  Christian  minister  and  layman  would  read  this  little  book 
and  put  into  practical  life  its  wholesome  suggestions,  there  would  be  a 
great  change  in  the  tone  of  many  Christian  communities.  .  \  .  .  One 
will  have  a  truer  idea  of  the  value  of  a  small  place  for  winning  souls  after 
reading  this  keen,  practical,  helpful  book.  Would  that  there  many  more 
like  it."— Religious  Telescope. 


THEY  MET  IN  HEAVEN 

By  GEORGE  H.  HEPWORTH. 

5th  thousand.     i6mo,  216  pages,  cloth,  75  cents. 

An  account  of  The  Fireside  Club  and  its  discussions  during  the 
winter  preceding  the  death  of  Hiram  Golf. 


life  and  faith  and  hope  and  heaven.  Hooks  of  this  character  have 
blessed  mission,  and  should  be  warmly  received  and  widely  read.  Tl: 
narrative  portions  are  fascinating.  The  whole  is  put  in  a  most  charmin 
and  persuasive  way." — L'kristiun  Intelligencer. 


THE  LIFE  BEYOND. 

This  flortal  flust  Put  on   Immortality. 

By  GEORGE  H.  HEPWORTH. 

2nd  thousand.     i6mo,  116  pages,  cloth,  75  cents. 

"  The  author  of  this  choice  book  is  pleased  to  think  that  he  has  made 
no  single  statement  which  can  in  any  proper  sense  be  called  original  ;  but 
he  has  given  the  oldest  truths  and  the  commonest  beliefs  a  freshness  of  put 
ting  and  illustration  better  than  originality.  He  tells  the  old,  old  story: 
he  tells  it  in  a  way  to  stimulate  interest  and  desire  and  afford  consolation 
to  tlir  wearied  and  forlorn,  who  are  seeking  for  sources  of  comfort  in  the 
'.mseen  and  immeasurable  things  beyond  the  vail." — Zion's  Herald. 

"  The  thoughts  presented  arc  expressed  clearly  and  forcibly,  and  in  a 
style  fitted  to  commend  them  to  tried  and  sorrowing  hearts."  —  H'aff/iwan. 


University  of  California 

SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 

Return  this  material  to  the  library 

from  which  it  was  borrowed. 


OCT 


